


Call It What You Want (Trans!Steve and Pan!Bucky Modern Summer AU)

by loveforpreserumsteve



Series: Home [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Modern Bucky Barnes, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Pan Bucky Barnes, Pining, Pride, Slow Burn, Trans Steve Rogers, skinny!Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-07-27 01:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 64
Words: 61,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20037781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveforpreserumsteve/pseuds/loveforpreserumsteve
Summary: "Then, Natasha perked. Her idea giving her so much renewed energy that Steve could practically feel it rippling through the air to him. Steve looked over at Natasha and watched as she stubbed out her cigarette on the open windowsill. Excitedly, Natasha stated, 'You should come with me.'Only it didn't sound like a suggestion, it sounded more like a plea.'I don't know,' Steve trailed off, taking another bite of the black licorice.'Steven,' Natasha whined as she dropped down onto her knees and theatrically slid across the bathroom tiles to him. Clasping her hands together and pouting her plump lower lip, Natasha theatrically begged, 'Please? You're my savior! My best friend! My precious rage-filled dumpling!'Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes, but before he could answer, Natasha continued. Giving Steve the biggest puppy dog eyes that she could conjure, she pleaded, 'Stevie Poo?''Okay, fine,' Steve giggled, caving, just like he always did."-Modern Stucky AU-Language and other mature content***I don't own Marvel or the characters of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, nor any of the other Marvel characters





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> To keep up-to-date with everything that's going on in my life, my fics, and to see cute pictures of my pets, be sure to follow me on instagram @loveforpreserumsteve ❤
> 
> Much love and appreciation  
Minnie ❤❤❤

**One:**

Natasha was dramatic. Everyone knew that. It was right there in one's face as soon as they met her. With her distressed black tights that had runs and holes and her black faux leather miniskirt and her neon pink _cute but psycho_ tee that was torn strategically so it could hang off her shoulder. And if all that wasn't enough, Natasha liked her makeup theatrical. Thick black eye makeup to accentuate her green eyes that made it impossible to look anywhere else. Especially when she was glaring.

Not that Steve really minded. He preferred it, actually. With everyone looking at Natasha, it kept them from looking at him. And even before Steve started officially transitioning, he didn't like attention. So, it was a good pairing, in Steve's opinion.

Currently, Natasha was sitting on top of Steve's toilet with her hair damply gathered, only being held in place by the hair-dye that she amply applied by herself. She told Steve that she needed to, "get away," which she seemed to have to do a lot. And usually, it meant going to Steve's house.

Taking a long drag from her cigarette, Natasha continued her rant, "I swear that conniving, manipulative cunt did this on purpose."

Sitting in the doorway of the bathroom and bedroom -- as lookout -- Steve gave her a pointed look. Natasha knew that Steve didn't like foul language in general, but especially not that word. Steve ripped a bite off his black licorice with his teeth, and said, "It's not that bad." Then, Steve reminded, "You said that you needed to get away."

"What?" Natasha questioned while rapidly blinking. Almost like a robot trying to compute, but failing. When Steve didn't change his comment to one that Natasha wanted to hear, Natasha took another drag from her cigarette. Turning her head, she blew the smoke out the window and complained, "I didn't say that I wanted to go to Arkansas. Who the fuck wants to go to Arkansas?"

Steve shrugged, "It's still somewhere new. Somewhere far away, too."

"But," Natasha's face furrowed into one of disgust, "It's not the kind of place that I want to get away to."

"It's still a place," Steve attempted to reason. Shrugging again, Steve offered, "It might be fun. You'll be with family."

Natasha picked at one of the holes in her tights and reminded, "I haven't seen them in years."

"Yeah, but it's --"

"Not the same," Natasha interrupted and softly stated, "You wouldn't know, now would you?"

Steve focused on the chipping paint from the doorframe and decided not to say anything. Taking another bite from the licorice, Steve admitted to himself that Natasha had a point. Steve was lucky in that aspect of his life. His parents were in a loving relationship and were thankfully still alive. Plus, Steve didn't have any cousins for an evil soon-to-be step-parent to ship him off to for the summer while they renovated his childhood home to sell before they married.

Then, Natasha perked. Her idea giving her so much renewed energy that Steve could practically feel it rippling through the air to him. Steve looked over at Natasha and watched as she stubbed out her cigarette on the open windowsill. Excitedly, Natasha stated, "You should come with me."

Only it didn't sound like a suggestion, it sounded more like a plea.

"I don't know," Steve trailed off, taking another bite of the black licorice.

"Steven," Natasha whined as she dropped down onto her knees and theatrically slid across the bathroom tiles to him. Clasping her hands together and pouting her plump lower lip, Natasha theatrically begged, "Please? You're my savior! My best friend! My precious rage-filled dumpling!"

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes, but before he could answer, Natasha continued. Giving Steve the biggest puppy dog eyes that she could conjure, she pleaded, "Stevie Poo?"

"Okay, fine," Steve giggled, caving, just like he always did.

Raising her arms in sweet victory and tilting her head back as though she was praising Jesus, Steve rolled his eyes. Deciding that going to a place where he didn't know anyone, Steve knew that he'd need some comfort food, so he added, "But I need the biggest bag of black licorice they make!"

"Deal," Natasha readily agreed just as the timer dinged. Natasha stood and raced over to the bathtub. Removing the shower head, Natasha got the water ready before kneeling on the floor and rinsing the dye out of her short bob. Wiggling her hips and happily singing an obscure indie song that Steve wasn't even sure was an actual song, but tapped his feet to nonetheless.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765056899-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	2. Two

**Two:**

"So, Natasha is staying in Arkansas this summer with her Aunt Winifred, and she wants me to go with her," Steve quickly stated at dinner.

Sarah paused with her food covered fork in midair in front of her face, and she glanced over at Steve. Of course, Steve kept his gaze on his plate as he pushed around his food, purposely choosing to not look at his mom. When Steve couldn't ignore his mother's gaze any longer, Steve glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye.

Setting her fork down, Sarah narrowed her eyes and asked, "You'll actually be in Arkansas with Natasha's family, right? I won't get a call at three in the morning from you in a Mexican jail or anything?"

"Mom," Steve exaggerated, rolling his eyes for good measure of being the angsty teenager.

"Don't, 'Mom,' me," Sarah stated, finally eating her food off her fork.

Sarah was still evaluating Steve, not that he could blame her. After all, the last trip that Steve took with Natasha, the pair ended up in Pennsylvania before Natasha's car broke down and they had to break down to call the Rogers who believed the pair was safely with Natasha's family Up North. Which, Steve actually believed was the plan. Until he ended up in a car with Natasha going in the complete opposite direction of where they were supposed to be.

However, Steve was a bad liar, so there wasn't a point to study him too much.

So, Sarah dropped her gaze and Steve let out a sigh of relief. Finally, Sarah sighed. She set her fork down and started, "_If_ I let you go, you'll promise to stay there? You'll be the perfect house guest? And you'll be sure to keep Nattie in line?"

Looking at his food, Steve couldn't help but think, _that sounds like a lot of work during a vacation_. But Steve reassured her, "Of course."

"Okay," Sarah smiled and picked up her fork again. Gathering more food on her fork, she replied, "I'll call Ivan later to see if he's okay with this."

Steve's dad, Joseph, scoffed from his seat then, because he -- like everyone else -- knew that Ivan couldn't care less. Not with the _bimbo-in-charge_, as Natasha "affectionately" called her, around. Steve couldn't blame Natasha for being sour though. Especially since Natasha's mom, Sarina, had only been dead for a year. And if that wasn't bad enough, Ivan's latest girlfriend --correction, fiancée -- his third lover in the past year, used to be one of his former students.

Since Joseph chuckled, Sarah started to too, and Steve couldn't help but join in. Steve's six-year-old brother, Eddie, asked, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Sarah lied, reaching over to ruffle his auburn hair. She lightly caressed his freckled cheek, and widened her eyes as she theatrically asked, "Who's ready for dessert?"

"Me!" Eddie happily exclaimed as Joseph gathered everyone's plates and took them to the kitchen.

Eddie was the baby of the family, obviously. Steve was eleven when Eddie was born, and Steve remembered being so excited. He had spent years begging Sarah to gift him with a sibling. Of course, that was Before. Before middle school. Before puberty. Before transitioning. Before Steve realized how complicated life could be.

"Do you want whipped cream?" Sarah asked Steve as she handed Eddie a bowl of strawberry shortcake. Made the good way with the angel food cake.

It didn't take long for Eddie to start stuffing his face and Steve teased, "Who do you think you're asking? Of course, I want whipped cream!"

Sarah playfully rolled her eyes and turned back towards the kitchen. Getting caught in the doorway with Joseph and ultimately surrendering to his loving embrace. As Joseph kissed Sarah, it was difficult for Steve to remember a time before Joseph. See, Joseph wasn't Steve's biological dad. But he was the only dad that Steve knew.

Steve liked to think that meant that he was loved more because Joseph _chose_ to be his dad.

And Steve could remember when Joseph met Sarah and Steve at the laundry mat that they typically went to. It was back when Sarah was in nursing school. Back when Sarah and Steve were living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. But it wasn't too bad. Steve's five-year-old self liked sharing a bed with Sarah because it had been the only constant in his life.

Sarah had been a teenage mom. Leaving home at seventeen after Steve was born because her parents had been "bad parents" that were "coked out", and she knew that she wanted a better life for Steve than the one that she had growing up.

Steve's first memories were of Sarah and himself staying with some of her friends, sharing a twin-size bed and Sarah pushing Steve's blond hair off his face until he fell asleep, holding her tightly. It had always been Sarah and Steve, and Steve didn't know that it wasn't normal to have such a young mom, or to even have _just_ a mom.

Then they met, "You can call me, Joey," Joseph who always seemed more like a dad even with his boyish good looks. And Steve remembered Joseph smiling at Sarah whenever she looked away as they spent their Saturday afternoon at the laundry mat. Sarah doing their laundry and Steve in the designated kiddie area watching _Hercules_, but being more entertained by Sarah and Joseph.

Remembering the demure way that Sarah smiled at Joseph and thinking about how much the pair looked like a Disney couple. Joseph being the perfect prince that Steve had always idolized. Especially with his short auburn hair falling into his sparkling green eyes and the freckles that were sprinkled along his cheekbones and slope nose. Steve's favorite part was the way Joseph's thin lips pulled even wider whenever Sarah smiled at him.

The game winning point though, was that Joseph didn't run away when he found out that Sarah was raising Steve as a single mother. The other men who admired Sarah often dipped out as soon as they found out that information. But not Joseph.

Not even when Joseph found out that Sarah had adopted her brother and decided to raise him as her son. A fact that Steve didn't even find out until later. A fact that made Steve love Sarah just a little bit more.

After that first day with Joseph though where he bought Steve a pack of brownies with neon-colored chocolate chips from the vending machine and theatrically sang along with the Muses, Steve knew that Joseph was special. When Steve and Sarah got back to their apartment, Steve told Sarah that she was going to marry Joseph.

And sure enough, she did.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765184436-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	3. Three

**Three:**

"You nervous?" Natasha whispered, lying in bed beside Steve.

Steve yawned. Out of politeness, Steve covered his hand with his mouth and shrugged. Sleepily teasing, "Why would I be nervous?"

Scoffing, Natasha shoved at Steve's shoulder, causing him to chuckle. His chuckles were soon replaced with a loud, "Holy shit," when he started to fall off the bed. Arms flailing, Natasha loudly laughed and her grip slackened on Steve's slender wrist.

Of course, with all the commotion, the light was turned on. Both squinting, they looked over at Natasha's doorway where Ivan was standing. Steve sat up then and Ivan sternly reprimanded, "Girls."

"Dads," Natasha sassed.

Ivan's brows furrowed and he groggily snipped, "What?"

"You addressed _me_ as plural," Natasha shrugged and explained, "I did the same."

Annoyed, Ivan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before sternly stating, "Go to bed."

"I'm in bed," Natasha sarcastically reminded.

Steve held his face in his hands. Although Steve knew that Natasha had her reasons for being problematic, and understood those reasons, he wished that sometimes she would just hold her tongue. But then she wouldn't be Natasha.

"Go to sleep," Ivan amended before threatening, "Or I'll send Ste--"

"Okay!" Natasha interrupted, holding her hands up in surrender. Natasha pulled her black down comforter back and patted the blood red sheets, insisting for Steve to rejoin her in bed.

Ivan gave them a stern look, but didn't say anything as Steve climbed into the queen size bed and both laid back. Ivan turned the lights off then and closed the door before heading down the hall to his own room.

Both laid there silently for a moment as they waited to hear Ivan close his own bedroom door behind him. Then, both teens relaxed in the bed. Steve let out a sigh of relief and rubbed his hand over his face. One of the reasons why the pair preferred Steve's house for their sleep overs was because Steve's house had better installation. Plus, they didn't have a bedtime there either.

"We should just get our own place now," Natasha muttered.

Steve rolled onto his side, like the way he had been laying prior and wished that he could give more comfort to his best friend. The only thing that he could think of was, was to joke, "Maybe my mom will adopt you too."

"I wish," Natasha stated, rolling over to face Steve. Settling into her place, Natasha teased, "Might be difficult though. I like being the cute one in the family."

"Shut up," Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Natasha giggled and wistfully sighed. Steve was sure that they would be sleeping soon. Until…

"Where are you going?" Steve stage whispered as Natasha climbed out of bed.

"I need to do something," Natasha stated, heading over to her bathroom.

Steve's brows furrowed and he glanced over at Natasha's alarm clock to find that it was a little after midnight. Steve's gaze drifted to the bathroom then and he bit his lower lip. The door was open, the light on, and he could hear Natasha rummaging around in one of the drawers.

His curiosity finally getting the better of him, Steve sighed and forced himself out of bed. As quietly as possible, Steve crossed the room to join her in the bathroom. Finding Natasha holding a needle up in victory and a wild look in her eyes.

"Uh?" Steve asked, playfully holding his hands up in fake surrender, "What cha got there, Nat?"

"A needle," Natasha exaggerated, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously. Looking at the large needle, Natasha was clearly forming a plan and she started heading out of the bathroom.

Steve's brows furrowed and he asked over his shoulder, "What are you going to do with it?"

"You'll see," Natasha sing-songed, returning to the bathroom with phone in hand.

Leaning against the doorframe, Steve crossed his ankles and rested his head there too. Cautiously, curiously watching Natasha as she set her phone down on the counter and opened the lower cupboard to find something. When she pulled her hand back to reveal a bottle of rubbing alcohol, Steve's eyes widened and he pushed himself away from the doorframe.

"Please tell me that you're not going to do what I _think_ you're going to do," Steve pleaded, clenching his jaw.

"That depends," Natasha stated, opening the bottle and pouring some of the clear liquid into the cap.

"On what?" Steve questioned, watching Natasha place the needle in the liquid.

Washing her hands, Natasha smirked, "Whether you want me to lie."

"Natasha, I swear to fucking god --"

"Stevie," Natasha declared, scandalized. Feigning disappointment, Natasha tsked, "Such language. It's simply sacrilegious to take our lord and savior's name in vain."

Steve rolled his eyes, but before anything else could be said, Natasha had the needle in hand. Steve held his breath, hoping that Natasha would decide not to go through with it. She was hesitating, after all. Maybe she would decide to just wait to get it done professionally. Maybe she would --

"Fuck!" Natasha exclaimed, quickly and aggressively piercing the large needle through her nostril.

"Oh fuck," Steve declared. His words muffled by him clasping this hands over his nose and mouth, like he was trying to contain a sneeze. As he winced, he couldn't look away as he watched Natasha grab a tiny skull stud and place it in the hole before completely pulling the needle through her nose.

Natasha sniffled and leaned over the counter, closer to the mirror as she asked, "What do you think?"

"That I'm glad you're my best friend," Steve teased. Natasha looked over at him and Steve said, "I'd hate to get on your bad side."

Natasha's lips curled up and she sweetly concurred, "Fear me."

<https://www.wattpad.com/765196482-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	4. Four

**Four:**

Steve followed Natasha through the airport. Natasha was always the leader, but it wasn't like Steve could find her Aunt Winifred, since he had little-to-no clue as to what she looked like. After all, the only picture that Steve had seen of Natasha's Aunt Winifred was a picture from when Sarina was pregnant with Natasha. Which was clearly a while ago.

The airport was emptying out and Natasha's teeth were in her lower lip. She ran her hand through her now gray bob while trying to make the new choppy bangs stay out of her eyes with little success. Steve knew that she was nervous. He was sure that even if she wasn't his best friend, he'd be able to tell. But knowing about one of her deepest fears was being forgotten, Steve had added insight.

Steve gave Natasha's hand a small squeeze to try and comfort her, but Steve was starting to get nervous too. Her aunt knew that they were arriving today, right? Right?!

Taking in a deep breath, Steve closed his eyes and Natasha took a hold of his hand, leading him to the other side of the airport of the room. Instantly reminding Steve of how petite he was and reminding him of his dysphoria and causing him to yank his hand from Natasha's grip. Natasha didn't seem to take it too personally though as she continued to cross the area, leading them over to where a taller boy with tousled brown hair stood with a decent size sign.

And although the neon pink of the sign didn't bother Steve, the name that was on it sure as hell did. The sign read, _Welcome Nattie and Stephanie_, with both _i_'s dotted with glittery flower stickers.

Steve didn't typically get nauseous, but he sure as hell did in that moment. Especially when the brunet's brows furrowed and he asked Steve, "Stephanie?" No doubt expecting the girl that Steve used to appear as and Ivan, no doubt, relayed would be joining his daughter.

"Steve," Natasha sternly corrected for her best friend. Her jaw tight as she solidified, "This is my friend, Steve."

"Oh, okay," Natasha's cousin readily agreed. For a moment, Steve was fearful that he'd question it, and couldn't help the sigh of relief when the cousin didn't. Instead, he introduced himself, "I'm Bucky."

Steve nodded in acknowledgment and caught his first glance of Bucky's blue eyes. The steel blue causing Steve's heart to stutter in his chest, and causing everything else to become muted.

Natasha's sharp elbow to his ribs brought him back though, and Steve rasped, "Nice to meet you."

A smirk tugged at Bucky's red lips as he agreed, "Likewise."

Steve's breath hitched and he quickly averted his gaze to the ground, earning another harsh nudge from Natasha. Steve glanced up at her to find Natasha's face furrowed in confusion and annoyance, picking up on Steve's obvious attraction.

In a silent apology, Steve briefly winced. Natasha rolled her eyes in a muted reply, to which Steve welcomed. Discreetly, Steve ran his hand through his floppy blond hair so he could glance at Bucky. Bucky didn't seem to notice and instead was focusing on folding the poster board sign in his hand so it would fit in the trashcan.

With his gaze still focused on his hands, Bucky suggested, "We should probably get going."

"Sounds like a plan," Natasha readily agreed, removing her star shaped sunglasses from the top of her head and placing them on her face. Being careful as to not bump her right nostril with the new white opal stud in it.

Bucky smiled and gestured towards their duffle bags while he politely offered, "I can take those for you."

Still in a bit of a daze, Steve tore his gaze away from Bucky's red lips and glanced over at Natasha, silently wanting her to say something so he wouldn't have to. Natasha clutched her bag just a little bit closer to her petite frame and declined, "We're independent, so we've got it."

"Okay," Bucky nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts that appeared to be the same pair that Steve, himself, was wearing. With his broad shoulder, Bucky gestured towards the exits and asked, "Shall we?"

The pair readily agreed and started following Bucky out of the airport. As they crossed the parking lot, Natasha questioned, "Where's your mom?"

"Working," Bucky nonchalantly answered, glancing at Natasha and then past her to Steve.

Immediately, Steve blushed and averted his gaze to the ground. Suddenly, Steve was all too aware that this summer was going to be a whole hell of a lot more complicated than Steve had first assumed.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765437310-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	5. Five

**Five:**

Once they were halfway through the airport parking lot, Bucky led the pair over to a Kermit the Frog green 1976 Ford Bronco with a white top. Opening the trunk, Bucky held his hand out for the bags. Steve readily gave his bag over, but Natasha insisted on doing it herself.

Leading the way again, Natasha started heading around to the passenger side. And since Natasha was heading that way, Steve followed.

"Hold on," Bucky declared, holding his hand up to the pair. They paused and Bucky rushed ahead of them. He opened the door and started throwing empty pop and water bottles behind the seat as he explained, "It's a little messy."

"Yeah," Natasha sneered, pulling out a cigarette. Balancing it between her lips, staining the cigarette with her plum lipstick, she didn't waste any time lighting it. Exhaling a puff, Natasha continued busting Bucky's balls, "We can see, ya know."

A light blush colored Bucky's cheeks and Steve elbowed Natasha in her ribs, but she didn't care. Trying to ease some of the tension, Steve politely stated, "Thank you for picking us up."

"Oh, you don't have to thank me," Bucky brushed off with an easy grin as he walked around the front of the Bronco. As he opened the heavy door to the driver's side. Climbing inside, Bucky said, "You can thank, Brock, though. It's his truck."

Natasha gestured for Steve to climb in first, and Steve did. The bench seat wasn't very large, and Steve's face heated as he slid along the seat, next to Bucky. Trying not to get distracted by Bucky's jawline that was so chiseled that one could cut their hand on it, Steve questioned, "Who's Brock."

"One of Sam's friends," Bucky answered, pulling out of the spot and nearly backing into another vehicle.

"Jesus Christ," Natasha exclaimed, pulling her sunglasses down slightly and looking in the side mirror over the top of the black frames. She sneered, "Do you even have a license?"

"Yes," Bucky chuckled. He shrugged and defended himself, "I'm not used to driving such a large vehicle."

"Obviously," Natasha scoffed and pushed her sunglasses back up her nose and rested her elbow on the door, making sure the smoke left through the open window.

Not wanting to sit in silence, Steve gestured towards the radio and asked, "Do you mind?"

Bucky glanced over at Steve and confirmed, "No, not at all. Go right ahead."

So, with Bucky's blessing, Steve turned on the radio. Immediately regretting it though when they were greeted with a pop-rock song blaring through the speakers. Quickly, Steve turned the volume down. And even though the music wasn't his style, Steve knew that Natasha liked it, so he didn't change the station.

While Natasha tapped her fingers on her thigh to the beat, Steve settled in the seat. Looking at the scenery before them, Steve couldn't help but wonder if they had left New York at all.

Leaving the airport behind, Natasha elbowed Steve. Instantly gaining Steve's attention, Natasha sarcastically mocked, "Don't look so tore up about it. Someone might assume you don't want to be here."

Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed, "You know that I can't help it."

"Yeah, yeah," Natasha smirked, "Smiling's your favorite thing. Blah, blah, blah. Settle down, Buddy the Elf, will ya?"

"Shut up," Steve good-naturedly scoffed and playfully rolled his eyes again.

Natasha simply smirked and threw the cigarette butt out the window. Rolling up the window, Natasha paused. Realizing that there wasn't any air conditioning, Natasha rolled down the window again and griped, "Holy shit, how does this dude get around in this sweaty ass weather without AC?"

Bucky shrugged, his elbow resting on the door and assumed, "Used to it?"

"Jesus H. Christ," Natasha complained. Then, as though the thought had just popped into his head, "Hold the fuck up --"

"Nat," Steve softly interjected, a reminder of Natasha to watch her language.

"-- Please tell me that your house has AC," Natasha continued, ignoring Steve.

"Yes, we have air," Bucky chuckled. Glancing over at Natasha, he joked, "We're not completely uncivilized here."

Steve smirked at that. Before he could avert his gaze, Bucky's eyes fell on him. Bucky's lips quirked up even more, effectively causing Steve's breath to halt. Holding his breath up until Bucky turned his gaze in front of him back onto the road.

"Praise the lord," Natasha deadpanned, practically echoing Steve's exact thought as he took in a deep breath.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765454885-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	6. Six

**Six:**

With someone shaking his shoulder, Steve awoke to realize that he had fallen asleep. Steve's eyelids fluttered open to find that they were pulled over on the side of the road. Alarmed from his grogginess, Steve sat up straight and looked over at Natasha to find that she was visibly annoyed.

"What's going on?" Steve asked, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands and blinked his eyes. Stretching, Steve noticed Bucky's reflection in the side mirror as he leaned against the side of the Bronco.

"Bucky," Natasha said in distaste before continuing, "Said that we should call our parents to let them know that we've arrived safely because there might not be reception on the mountain."

"They live on a reception-free mountain?" Steve questioned, finding the idea oddly appealing.

"Apparently," Natasha sighed in annoyance.

Deciding not to waste too much time, Steve pulled out his cellphone. Foregoing calling Sarah, Steve sent a quick text that was sweet and to the point. Making sure that the message was delivered, Steve slid his phone into his cargo shorts pocket and noticed that Natasha made no move to message Ivan.

"Aren't you going to --"

"No," Natasha curtly answered.

"Oh, c'mon," Steve nudged Natasha, "Just a quick --"

"'Hey, I didn't die'?"

Steve gave her a pointed look, but Natasha rolled her eyes. Feeling Steve watching her, Natasha sighed and admitted, "I posted on instagram. If he cares to look, it's right there that I arrived safely."

Sighing, Steve decided not to say anything else. Then, Natasha moved onto her knees and crawled over Steve to call out the window, "Let's get this show on the road."

Bucky waited for Natasha to move back to her seat before he climbed back into the cab of the Bronco. Cheerily, Bucky asked, "You get a hold of your parents?"

"He did," Natasha answered. When she noticed sympathy crossing his expression, Natasha snipped at Bucky, "Can we go? Like, now?"

Steve closed his eyes, trying to remain levelheaded, Bucky started the engine of the Bronco and cautiously pulled onto the nearly deserted road. And all those back-road-road-trip-cabin-in-the-woods-inbred-cannibal movies flashed through Steve's mind, causing Steve to shift uncomfortably. Bucky shifted then too, as though he was trying to give Steve more room. Which Steve was extremely grateful for Bucky's consideration.

"So," Bucky started, breaking the silence as he turned down another road, "How did you two meet?"

"One of the faculty picnics at the college that our dads work at," Steve answered since Natasha had decided not to.

"That's pretty cool," Bucky politely said.

Steve looked down at his lap. Pulling at his shorts so they'd be further down on his slender legs, and looked over at Bucky when he cleared his throat. Shifting in his seat as well, Bucky conversationally asked, "You go to the same school then, yeah?"

"Yeah," Steve confirmed and added, "We're going to be seniors this fall."

"So, you must be excited, huh?" Bucky smirked at Steve, causing Steve's heart to stutter in his chest.

"Hella excited," Natasha stated, keeping her gaze on her phone, "Wait. No. What's more than, 'hella'?"

Eagerly, Steve averted his gaze from Bucky's mesmerizing eyes and answered Natasha, "It'd probably be, 'af'."

As soon as the words left his mouth however, Steve regretted it. He didn't want to sound stupid in front of someone that he just met. Especially not an attractive someone.

"That'd be my bet," Bucky agreed though, pleasantly surprising Steve and instantly gaining his attention once again.

Steve pressed his lips together in hopes of suppressing his grin, but knew that he was failing miserably. So, Steve faced the front again and decided to ask, "What about you?" Once the words were out of his mouth, Steve realized that they didn't make any sense. Steve elaborated, "Do you… um… go to high school?"

"Um, no," Bucky admitted, "I'm a junior in college."

Steve's eyes widened in surprise at that, causing Bucky to softly chuckle and mock himself, "I know, I have a bad case of baby-face."

"'Baby-face,' my ass," Natasha scoffed. Calling Bucky out on his supposed bullshit as she claimed, "You're only a year older than me. You can't have, 'baby-face,' when you're still a baby."

Biting his lower lip to keep himself from laughing, Steve gazed down at his lap. But then his brows furrowed and he questioned, "How are you a junior in college if you're only eighteen?"

Shifting in his seat, Bucky confessed, "I graduated high school early."

"Oh," Steve lamely replied, instantly regretting it. Especially after finding out that Bucky was practically a genius. Steve felt even more stupid in the moment. And, as he often did, Steve wanted nothing more than to just disappear.

"Yeah, oh," Bucky agreed though. Steve gave Bucky a sideways glance to find Bucky smirking.

"Nerd," Natasha teased, putting her phone away when she earned a chuckle from Bucky.

A chuckle that was so musical and heartfelt that Steve just sat there for a moment, looking up at Bucky. A small, sweet smile was on Steve's lips and he knew that he was done for.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765595186-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	7. Seven

**Seven:**

Turning down another road, they started moving at an incline, finally heading up the mountain. Steve couldn't help but feel like their summer vacation had officially started as they headed up the mountain.

Watching out the windshield, Steve watched as the further they got, the more trees were seen. The trees acting as a barrier the higher up the mountain they traveled. Steve shuddered then. Having a difficult time not thinking about how many people could've gone over the side since there wasn't a very sturdy railing. When there was a railing, that is.

Not wanting to think about dying in a fiery crash, Steve averted his gaze to his lap. Hoping that they were close to their destination. Especially once Natasha dramatically exclaimed, "Civilization!"

Steve looked up then to watch as they passed through a small town. Houses and a school. Churches, lots of churches. And even a post office. Then, it was all gone.

"Well, so much for that," Natasha deadpanned and sighed as they passed the small village.

As Bucky continued driving, Steve couldn't help but wonder how much longer were they going to travel. Especially once his ears popped and he winced at the discomfort. Thankfully, Steve and Natasha were on the same wavelength -- as always -- Natasha loudly complained, "How much longer?"

"Not much," Bucky answered and kept driving.

Natasha groaned in annoyance, "This is taking forev--"

Interrupting her, Bucky pulled into a long gravel driveway. It was so long, in fact, that Steve started to wonder if this was just another road. However, soon enough, the driveway started to curve and a log cabin style house came into view.

Stopping the Bronco in front of the house, Bucky pulled the keys from the ignition and accidentally elbowed Steve in his chest. With his eyes large, Bucky turned to look over at Steve and immediately started to profusely apologize, "I'm so sorry."

Holding his chest, Steve reassured Bucky, "It's okay. Accidents happen." And perhaps, Bucky would've believed Steve, if Natasha hadn't been cackling from beside him.

"I am so, so sorry," Bucky apologized.

"It's fine," Steve reassured again. Elbowing Natasha harshly, Steve hoped that she'd stop laughing and get out of the vehicle already.

Which, thankfully, she did. Well, not with the laughing. But Natasha did open the door. As Natasha climbed out of the vehicle, Bucky did too. Steve took a moment to slightly rub at his chest, near his collarbone where Bucky had accidentally, harshly, elbowed him.

"Nattie!" A younger girl, maybe seven or eight years old, yelled. In her excitement, the girl jumped off the porch and ran towards the teens.

As soon as the girl reached Natasha, she wrapped her tiny arms around Natasha. Shocked by the sudden embrace, Natasha held her arms awkwardly so she wouldn't touch the girl and she turned her head to look at Steve. With eyes wide in her surprise, Steve could tell that he really shouldn't, but he couldn't help it, as he started chuckling.

The little girl peeked around Natasha's slender frame and looked at Steve. Nervously, Steve's chuckles died as he stood there next to the Bronco. Steve loved kids, but they made him nervous. Kids were brutally honest by nature, and it always made Steve's skin feel prickly at what they could say about him.

Natasha noticed the girl looking at Steve, so she decided to avoid any awkwardness by introducing, "This is my friend, Steve."

The girl bashfully hid her face in Natasha's hip, but Steve could see that the corner of her lips were tugged up in a shy smile. Steve smiled at that. As he took a step towards Natasha, to properly greet the girl, another girl, a teen, called from the porch, "God, Tibby they just got here. Let them breathe!"

"I'm just trying to be welcoming, Becca!" Tibby sassed, letting go of Natasha's torso to face her sister on the porch. Pouting, Tibby crossed her arms and tucked her chin down into her chest while she kicked her bare feet in the grass.

Steve was about to comfort the child, but Bucky beat him to it. With both bags slung over each of his shoulders, Bucky started heading to the house and softly touched Tibby's back as he suggested, "C'mon."

And since Bucky was heading for the log cabin house, Steve and Natasha followed. Even though he knew that he shouldn't, Steve couldn't help but watch Bucky's bum as he headed up the porch steps.

A harsh elbow to his ribs caused Steve to avert his gaze to Natasha. Natasha's brows were arched accusatorily, causing Steve's cheeks to immediately heat. His face reddening, Steve dropped his gaze, staring down at his feet as he followed Bucky into the house.

<https://www.wattpad.com/765887616-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	8. Eight

**Eight:**

Seeing the row of shoes along the left side of the entryway wall, Steve slipped off his Vans. Using his foot to push his sneakers out of the way, Steve looked up. Immediately, his eyes started drinking in the interior. Pleasantly surprised by the mismatched patterns of the furniture and the bright sunny yellow walls of the living room.

Steve's eyes didn't know what they wanted to look at first. Jumping from one painting that was hanging on one of the walls to another one. Intrigued by all of them. Especially intrigued by the way that none of them should've worked together, but all of them complimented each other entirely.

"No way," caught Steve's attention. On the lime-green sofa, a brunette was laying in the living room, talking on the phone. Animatedly, she declared, "I knew that he liked her."

Bucky cleared his throat, to gain their attention. Once Bucky had it, he gestured down the short hallway to the left and told the pair, "You'll be staying in the guest room."

"Groovy," Natasha deadpanned, following Bucky down the hallway and into the room.

With their bags on the queen size bed with the handmade quilt, Steve went to enter the room. It just happened to be at the exact moment that Bucky went to exit. Not wanting to bump into each other, the pair took a step to the side. However, both ended up going the same way again.

Steve and Bucky were stuck in a dance of which-way-are-you-gonna-go for a few moments before Steve caved and stood still, so Bucky could decide. With a shy smile on his face, Bucky rubbed at the back of his neck. Bucky's gaze was downcast, and Steve pressed his lips together, so he wouldn't smile at the forming blush on Bucky's high cheekbones.

Finally, Bucky stepped around Steve and out of the room. Steve held himself and begged for the butterflies to stop bursting from their cocoons in his stomach. Knowing that if he didn't get a hold of himself, he'd be in for a doomed summer. Steve was so flustered that he didn't even realize that Natasha had crossed the room to close the door until the door harshly closed behind him.

"God, this is going to be a lo-ng summer," Natasha sighed with all the annoyance that she could currently muster. Plopping down on the bed, Natasha dramatically threw her arm over her face as she complained, "This house is already giving me a migraine."

"How?" Steve asked, moving towards the bed. Opening his duffle bag, Steve started unpacking. Making sure to put the large bag of licorice and his T on the dresser behind him. When Natasha didn't say anything, Steve admitted, "I think it's nice here."

"Of course, _you_ do," Natasha scoffed and sat up. Running her hand through her gray bob, Natasha looked around the room.

And since Natasha was, Steve decided to, too. It was a simple room. Dresser, bed, side tables. A large window that looked out to the front yard and was framed on the outside by large lilac bushes. Steve smiled at that. Lilacs were his favorite.

"I mean," Natasha sneered, gaining Steve's attention again. Her face was twisted in disgust and her gaze was locked on a large metallic flower wall sculpture above the headboard. Natasha stated, "It's so… so…"

"Interesting," Steve supplied, intrigued by the piece of art. Mutely, Natasha nodded, still looking up at the sculpture.

"I guess," Natasha started, her face smoothing from the prior expression of disgust to one of fondness. She snorted, "It's perfect for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve scoffed, starting to unpack his clothes.

"Oh, c'mon," Natasha smiled, "It's you. It's something that's supposed to be delicate but is something strong. It's you."

Steve blushed at that. Purposely not looking at Natasha, Steve started placing his clothes in the dresser. Even though Steve hated being thought of as delicate and petite, he knew that Natasha was giving him a compliment. So, Steve decided to take it as a compliment. Especially when he turned back to look up at the sculpture.

Even Steve couldn't deny the similarities. Playfully, Steve sighed, "Well, shit."

Giggling, Natasha tossed a pillow at Steve while laying back on the bed. Stretching out her fishnet covered legs, Natasha crossed her ankles and stared up at the ceiling. Tugging her black _Satan is my boyfriend_ cropped tee, so it touched the waistband of her high-waisted black shorts. Natasha stated, "It's hot as all hell here."

"Not the state for a black aesthetic, huh?" Steve teased, causing Natasha to toss another pillow his way.

<https://www.wattpad.com/766355010-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	9. Nine

**Nine:**

Once the pair was all unpacked, Steve laid on the right side of the bed, the closest side to the window, and allowed his eyelids to ease shut. Faintly, Steve could hear the alternative music coming from Natasha's headphones. But Steve didn't mind, a little noise always helped Steve fall asleep. Steve was used to commotion and noise. Eddie being a kid. Sarah absentmindedly whistling through the house whenever she was concentrating on something. Joseph's loud chuckles that could be heard from the second floor. Those sounds were Steve's home and safe space.

As images of the Rogers family flashed through Steve's mind and as the sleepiness crept around Steve like a warm blanket, there was a loud knock on the door. Steve opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, facing the door and called out, "Yes?"

The door cracked open a little and Tibby peeked her head into the small opening. She had a smile on her face and she announced, "Dinner is ready." When her eyes landed on Natasha, Tibby added, "If you're hungry."

Steve smiled and told her, "Give me a minute."

Tibby's heart shaped face lit up before she quickly nodded and closed the door again. Sitting up, Steve stretched his arms up above his head and climbed off the bed. Almost as though on cue, Steve's stomach grumbled, and Steve crossed the room.

Looking back at Natasha, Steve asked, "Aren't ya comin'?"

Natasha removed her headphones and said, "I think I'll stay here. Ya know, be fashionably late."

"You can't be fashionably late when you're already at the house," Steve chuckled, stretching again.

Dramatically, Natasha sighed and climbed off the bed. Throwing her head back to look up at the ceiling, Natasha begrudgingly made her way across the room. Steve opened the door and Natasha led the way out of the room.

There was a lot of commotion coming from the kitchen. Music playing, people talking. Although normally Steve would've felt right at home if this was happening at his house, he was suddenly very nervous. Being glad to follow Natasha. Steve was pretty sure that he'd follow Natasha into battle, if he had to.

Standing there, close to the wall, Steve observed that chaos that was going on. The two older brunettes were carrying plates over to the large kitchen table off to the side. At the stove, there was a pale, voluptuous woman with her brown locks twisted into a messy bun. Steve spotted spots of paint on her dark green twill capri pants and light blue tee, instantly intrigued with Aunt Winifred.

As she stirred the vegetables in a large wok stove top, she playfully swatted at a sweaty, shirtless, black boy with a shirt tossed over his broad, muscular shoulder. The boy threw his head back as he laughed at her for swatting at him. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her cheek as though he was silently apologizing for messing with her.

Still chuckling, the boy leaned over the large kitchen island where another sweaty, shirtless boy was sitting and they quickly started signing to each other. The one sitting, had noticeable tan lines with his arms being darker than his pale torso. With his freckled back to the pair, Steve could feel his face heating. After all, how many attractive boys were expected to be arou--

"Oof," Steve exhaled when someone bumped into him with so much force that Steve stumbled forward, quickly gaining the attention of the room.

Not wanting to see everyone looking at him, Steve glanced behind himself to see Bucky. Bucky's face was beet red, causing his widened blue eyes to stand out immensely as he quickly apologized, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Steve reassured Bucky as another boy walked around them clutching his stomach as he loudly chuckled.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at the laughing boy and she asked him, "You think it's funny to push people into other people?"

"A little," he admitted, trying to calm his chuckles and failing miserably. Straightening up, he showed that he was at least six inches taller than Natasha and had shoulders as wide, if not wider, than Bucky. His face, smug and a smirk tugged at the left corner of his mouth. Running his hand through his dark hair, he introduced himself, "I'm Brock."

"Natasha," she replied, cold, uncaring as she studied him. Keeping her gaze on Brock, Natasha gestured over her shoulder and said, "Steve."

"Steve?" Brock questioned, his grin widening like he was going to start laughing again. The pair nodded and Brock doubled over laughing again.

Blood rushed to Steve's cheeks and he dropped his gaze. Steve knew that his outer appearance didn't exactly match his inner, but he was working with what he had. He was trying.

Appetite entirely gone, Steve prayed that his building tears didn't flow over and escape his eyes. Natasha crossed her arms along her chest and asked, "Is that funny?"

"Yeah," Brock chuckled. Then he clarified, "You know that they have a goat named, Steve, right?"

Steve cautiously glanced up at that, seeing that Bucky's face was still red. Natasha scoffed as she asked, "Who had the bright idea to name the goats Peggy and Steve?!"

"Me!" Tibby cheerfully exclaimed as she stood on the table's bench along the wall with the windows. Clearly proud with herself.

<https://www.wattpad.com/766435334-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	10. Ten

**Ten:**

"Where do you think you're going?" Aunt Winifred questioned, removing the wok from the hot burner.

Tibby stood in the doorway, clearly on her way out of the house, and explained, "They haven't seen the goats."

"Well, it's dinner time," Winifred reminded. Transferring the stir-fry into a large bowl, she told Tibby, "Go sit down."

"But Mom!" Tibby whined, dramatically stomping her little foot. Steve could see then that it wasn't just a Natasha thing, but that it ran in the family.

"Tabitha," Winifred warned, and even Natasha straightened up at that tone. As she brought the bowl of stir-fry over to the table, she spotted Natasha and Steve still standing off to the side, and smiled at them, "Ya hungry? Don't be shy."

So, as everyone took a seat in one of the mismatched chairs, Natasha and Steve headed over too. With the only seating left being the bench, Natasha gestured for Steve to slide in first, and that's exactly what he did. Steve gave Natasha enough room, but he also made sure not to sit too close to Tibby.

As everyone at the table started helping themselves to the food, Steve and Natasha patiently waited. Winifred sat across from Natasha at the end of the table and when she smiled at the pair, a rainbow hoop above her top row of teeth was visible as she asked, "How was your flight?"

"Fine," Natasha breezily answered. While Steve mutely nodded his agreement beside her while he discreetly ran his tongue over the small, thin flap of skin that connect his upper lip to his gums.

"That's good," Winifred nodded, encouragingly. Then, she admitted, "I'm always a bit nervous whenever I have to travel. Darlene gets so fed up with me that I swear she's always _this close_ to divorcing me."

"How is Aunt D?" Natasha asked, glancing over at Steve who was helping himself to the stir-fry before passing it on to her.

"She's fine," Winifred sweetly smiled. Then, she chuckled, "I'm surprised that you remember her considering--"

"Considering my dad is a racist, homophobe, transphobe piece of shit?" Natasha bluntly supplied.

Steve's jaw dropped. Sure, everything that Natasha said was true, but still. The way that she delivered the truth however, hit Steve just a bit differently. Possibly because he was well aware that a child was sitting beside him and Natasha's swearing was always an issue for Steve.

Winifred simply laughed though. A lilting, musical tone that was instantly comforting. Her giggles dying out as she clarified, "I was going to say since you were a kid."

"Still true though," Natasha smirked, reaching forward to take a drink of her lemonade.

Easing in his seat, Steve picked up his fork and started gathering some of the noodles and spearing a snow pea pod on the end. Shoving it into his mouth, Steve's gaze landed on Bucky across from him. As soon as Bucky realized that Steve had caught him, he dropped his gaze, a blush forming on his high cheekbones.

"Do you like the stir-fry?" Tibby questioned from beside him.

Silently, Steve nodded his confirmation. Attempting to chew as quickly as possible, Steve swallowed the only half-ready food. Wincing slightly, Steve told Tibby, "It's delicious."

Tibby beamed and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Steve reassured. Playfully, Steve leaned in a little more to teasingly admit, "I'm just a slow eater."

Tibby giggled at that before stating, "I'm glad you like it! Especially since it doesn't have the special sauce since you're allergic to nuts."

Steve was touched at that. It wasn't very often where an entire dish was made so Steve could eat it. Typically when he was at Natasha's house, Ivan often forgot to even leave a small portion out for Steve. Which wasn't out of the norm with Ivan. So, it was really nice to have people be considerate of him.

"Well," Steve started, a little choked up about someone being so kind. Swallowing thickly, Steve told Tibby, "Thank you. I appreciate it."

Smiling, Tibby wiggled in her seat and got back to eating. And since Tibby was content with Steve's answer, Steve turned back to get back to eating. Turning to face the front, Steve peeked up at Bucky to see that he had been watching Tibby and Steve while a small smile tugged at Bucky's red lips.

A curious grin tugged at Steve's lips as Bucky tucked his head, and Steve looked down at his own plate. Conversationally, Winifred asked, "So, Steve, do you have any siblings?"

"Uh, yeah," Steve cleared his throat and continued, "I have a younger brother, Eddie. He's six."

"They're always fun at that age," Winifred smiled and winked over at Tibby. She admitted, "I've always had a soft spot for kids."

"Obviously," Natasha muttered.

"My parents do too," Steve stated, trying to cover up Natasha's sass. Steve shifted in his seat and clarified, "My mom is a RN in the children's wing and my dad is a history professor."

Winifred smiled, "Sounds like they're good parents. Good people."

"They are," Natasha clarified, answering before Steve could.

Steve gave Natasha's hand a comforting squeeze. Silently reminding his best friend that she was always welcomed in his family. In reply, Natasha returned the squeeze, silently letting Steve know that she understood.

<https://www.wattpad.com/766546093-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	11. Eleven

**Eleven:**

"So," Natasha stated, taking a long drag off her cigarette. Flicking her ashes, she lamely confirmed, "This is Goat Steve?"

"Yup," Tibby gleefully grinned up at Natasha before allowing Goat Steve to lick her small heart shaped face. With that same enthusiasm that Steve was positive was just her personality, Tibby informed them, "They're Pygmies."

"Pygmy?" Natasha quirked a brow.

"Miniature," Bucky and Steve both answered. Both looking at each other before quickly averting their gazes.

Steve was kneeling, petting the blond Goat Steve and he tried to not think about how Bucky could possibly still be looking at him. Sure, Bucky wasn't the first boy to take notice of him. But Bucky was the first boy who took notice of Steve knowing that he was a boy.

_He's just being nice_, Steve tried to reason with himself. Steve had a tendency to jump to conclusions. And typically that led to him getting his heart broken.

"You kind of have the same hair," Tibby complimented Steve with a large grin that showed off her missing teeth.

"Yeah, Stevie," Natasha dropped the cigarette butt to the ground and stepped on it. Twisting her foot, she continued, "You're practically twins."

As though she was being quiet, Tibby stage whispered, "I think Nattie thinks you're cute."

"Yeah?" Steve smirked at Tibby before glancing up at Natasha who silently, playfully rolled her eyes. But Steve could see the small quirk of her plump, plum lips.

"I mean," Natasha started and companionably patted Steve's shoulder, "Stevie's the cutest boy that I've ever seen."

"That was before me, though, right?" Brock cockily teased.

Steve pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing. After all, Steve knew that Natasha wasn't interested in any guys. Occasionally she'd joke about how a celebri-dude was her husband or something, but typically Natasha didn't date guys. Out of all the years that they had been friends, Natasha had only been on a date with a total of two boys, and each had been extremely awkward. Especially the double date that the pair went on before they had both come out.

"Nah dude," Natasha snorted, using her long nails to soothingly rake her hand through Steve's hair, fluffing up the floppy blond strands. Placing her hands on Steve's shoulders as Steve kneeled, still petting Goat Steve, Natasha declared, "Stevie's the only man in my life."

Smirking, Steve reached up and gave her slender hand a squeeze while keeping his gaze on the blond goat, who was seemingly fond of Steve. That was when Darlene's son, Sam, asked, "Wait, are you two dating?"

Steve couldn't help himself that time as he loudly laughed, nearly falling back on his ass. Thankfully, Natasha's grip was secure on his shoulders and she was able to keep him in place. Natasha was laughing too as she clarified, "No, we're practically siblings."

"So, that means I have a chance?" Brock teased. Steve looked up at him to find him playfully wiggling his eyebrows at Natasha.

Tilting his head up, Steve exchanged a glance with Natasha. To the right, Sam was petting the brown goat, Peggy, and Sam sighed, "Dude. Please stop hitting on my cousin."

"Oh, come on," Brock chuckled, "You know I'm just teasing."

Steve rolled his eyes and let Goat Steve lick his face. The only other non-family member, Clint, kneeled down and started petting Goat Steve's side. Clint loudly reassured Steve, "He seems to like you."

A little startled by the volume sheer volume, Steve's eyes widened. Which caused Clint's brows to furrow. Bucky kneeled in between Steve and Clint. Discreetly, Bucky gestured at his ear. Clint's brows briefly furrowed even more. Then, however, recognition crossed his face along with a blush and he reached up to adjust his hearing aids.

After clearing his throat, testing the volume, Clint apologized, "Sorry about that."

"It's okay," Steve reassured. As he went to pet Goat Steve again, his hand brushed against Bucky's. Both jerked their hands away and Steve was glad to see that he wasn't the only one blushing.

"Sometimes," Clint teased, "I turn the volume down when I see Brock talking."

"Hey," Brock complained.

But Steve didn't pay him no mind. All Steve could do was nervously chuckle while stealing glances of Bucky. Finding that Bucky was doing practically the same as Steve.

Clearing his throat, Bucky echoed Clint's earlier statement, "He likes you."

"I like him, too," Steve stated, momentarily embarrassed by the way his voice cracked. Peeking a glance at Bucky, Steve was relieved to not find any mocking in the soft grin that Bucky had on his face.

_Shit_, Steve thought, immediately dropping his gaze. _I'm supposed to be here for Natasha_.

<https://www.wattpad.com/766909328-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	12. Twelve

**Twelve:**

It was a little after midnight when Natasha stated, "I'm hungry."

Laying in the bed, wearing a faded red _The Lion King_ shirt and a pair of black fleece shorts, Steve glanced over the top of his book to look at Natasha. Dramatically, Natasha sighed and Steve redirected his attention to his book. Turning the page, he deadpanned, "You should've eaten more at dinner."

"Okay, rude," Natasha stated, slapping Steve's foot that was near her face as she laid parallel to Steve. In retaliation, Natasha lifted her foot from her pillow at the head of the bed and attempted to knock the novel out of Steve's hands.

Sighing in annoyance, Steve set the book on his chest and gave Natasha a pointed look. Of course, that only caused her to giggle. Which only added to Steve's annoyance. Steve quirked a brow and asked, "Are ya done?"

"I'm hungry," Natasha exaggerated, sitting up. Taking Steve's hands in hers, Natasha pleaded, "Let's go exploring."

"It sounds like you're bored," Steve corrected, "Not hungry."

"Okay, dad," Natasha mocked, rolling her eyes and examining her nails, picking at the chipping black polish.

Rolling his eyes, Steve climbed off the bed. As Steve stretched his arms above his head, Natasha excitedly clapped in victory before hopping off the bed. Steve shook his head, but the smirk still tugged at his lips.

Quietly, Natasha creaked the door open and peeked her head out into the quiet dark house. Making sure that the coast was clear, Natasha opened the door further and silently exited the bedroom. Gesturing for Steve to follow her, which, of course, he did.

The pair walked down the hall, staying close to the wall, with Steve holding onto her white and black yin-yang shirt. Steve didn't realize how dark it was until they left the room. Typically at his house, there were night lights and the street lights that would shine in through the windows. Being out in the middle of nowhere though reminded Steve of how much he disliked the dark.

"Oh, c'mon!" Brock's voice could be heard, causing Natasha to pause in front of the kitchen entrance. And since Natasha stopped, so did Steve.

There was a light coming from underneath a door at the end of the current hallway, and it didn't take a genius to assume that it was Bucky and Sam's room. Especially since they could hear soft chuckles, almost as though they were aware of the time and that they were trying to keep it down so they didn't wake anyone else up.

Natasha quirked a brow and pulled Steve closer to the closed bedroom door. Sliding down the side of the wall, the pair sat on the hardwood floor. Natasha was actively trying to eavesdrop while Steve reminded Natasha, "I thought you were hungry."

"Shh," Natasha harshly shushed Steve, holding her finger up against her lips.

"Bruh, I'm serious," Sam started. A soft whack could be heard before Sam continued, "If you don't shut the hell up, I'm kicking you out."

"You're telling me that it wouldn't be funny --"

"That's exactly what I'm --"

"To scare them?" Brock finished, speaking over Sam's protest.

"Like they could scare me," Natasha quietly scoffed to Steve, earning a smirk. Natasha joked, "Have they met me?"

Steve playfully nudged his shoulder against Natasha's and heard Brock, "See? Clint gets it! It's an initiation!"

"Shut the hell up!" Sam declared as someone else shushed Brock.

As Steve picked at a string on his sleep shirt and glanced around Natasha in the direction of the boys' bedroom. From the shuffling sounds, one could assume that they were roughhousing. Some chuckles could be heard and Natasha glanced back at Steve. Their brows were furrowed and both shrugged, which only caused them to softly giggle into each other.

Among all the commotion coming from the room, they also heard footsteps. Hastily, Natasha and Steve stood from the their spots, slipping in their socks on the hardwood floor. Trying to make their way as far away from the bedroom as quickly as they could.

Quietly, Steve was successfully heading for the bedroom, but Natasha grabbed the back of Steve's shirt and pulled Steve into the kitchen. Shocked and nervous, Steve started fixing his shirt as he asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm hungry," Natasha shrugged and flipped on the kitchen light, making them both squint their eyes from the sudden bright light. Natasha sneered, "God, have they never heard of a dimmer?"

Just then there were lights being turned on underneath the top cupboards and the overhead ceiling light was turned off. Natasha and Steve turned to look towards the entrance to see the boys standing there.

<https://www.wattpad.com/767384201-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	13. Thirteen

**Thirteen:**

Brock had a smirk on his smug face as he removed his hand from the light switch panel. Arrogantly, he crossed his arms along his chest and teased, "Midnight snack?"

"Duh," Natasha replied, moving over to search through the seafoam green cupboards. Finding dishes, Natasha asked, "Got anything good?"

"We were just gonna make some pizza rolls," Sam cheerily stated, entering the kitchen first. Walking by Natasha and Steve to get to the double door refrigerator on the other side of the room towards the kitchen table. Opening the freezer side, he grabbed a large bag of pizza rolls and offered the pair, "You in?"

"Sure," Natasha agreed while Steve nodded his own agreement, trying to be discreet as he crossed his arms along his chest.

Sam seemed almost surprised by their answers and happily made his way over to the oven. Preheating it while opening the bag and distributing the whole bag onto a baking sheet. Once he was done with that, he turned around to face Steve and Natasha. Leaning against the counter and crossing his arms along his still bare chest.

"So," Brock started, breaking the silence, gaining the rooms' attention. Steve uncomfortably shifted in his spot when he found Brock looking at him. With a quirked brow, Brock asked Steve, "Disney fan?"

"Who isn't?" Clint scoffed, pushing past Brock to enter the kitchen. Clint smiled at both Natasha and Steve, earning a small grin from Steve while Natasha playfully narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion.

Looking down at his chunky socks, Steve heard Brock question, "Do you talk? Like, at all?"

Steve glanced up then and noticed Brock was staring at him with furrowed brows. As though Brock was trying to figure Steve out. And suddenly, Steve felt ill. His stomach was doing flips, his heart was starting to race, and his palms were starting to sweat. All Steve really wanted to do was hurry back to the guest room.

"Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to _you_," Bucky suggested, walking around Brock and into the room. Passing by Steve, he looked up to give him a small, apologetic smile.

Pressing his lips together, Steve tried not to smile too big. Sure, Steve could fight his own battles, but Steve also occasionally appreciated someone standing up for him. Especially when Steve wasn't feeling as confident without his binder.

"We have a strict no-asshole policy," Natasha sassed, causing Steve to chuckle as he ducked his head, so no one could see just how red his face was currently.

"Hey," Brock complained, softly chuckling.

Natasha shrugged and headed over to the fridge and scrounged around as though she owned the place. And since Natasha felt comfortable, Steve decided to ease. Just a little. Maybe he'd relax more if he didn't feel so completely exposed standing there with his arms over his chest in his desperate attempt to not draw any attention there.

"You want one?" Natasha asked, holding out a bottle of water.

Steve nodded, but before he could answer, Brock teased, "I'd love a coke, thanks."

"Then you should get yourself one," Natasha scoffed, setting the bottled water on the counter and opening a cupboard, "Cups?"

"Above the sink," Sam replied, gesturing in the direction of where the cups were located.

"Thanks," Natasha said, moving over to the sink and opening the cupboards there. Grabbing two plastic pink cups, Natasha set them on the counter as well.

Once the water was poured into the two cups, Natasha turned around to hand one to Steve. Before Steve could take it though, Brock intercepted and took the cup for himself. As he walked over to the table where the other boys were sitting, Natasha watched him with narrowed eyes. And boy, was Steve glad that he wasn't Brock.

While Brock slid along the black and white striped bench, Sam grabbed another water from the fridge and handed it to Steve. Softly, Steve squeaked, "Thanks."

"No problem," Sam grinned. Teasing, he added, "Don't mind him."

"Yeah, his mom's disappointed in him too," Clint joked from his seat between Brock and Bucky.

"That's why I'm here all the time," Brock explained with a large, toothy grin on his face as he lifted the pink cup to his lips. Maintaining eye contact with Steve as he took a slow drink. Once done drinking the water, Brock set the cup down on the table and smacked his lips together, causing a chill to run down Steve's spine.

"How lucky for your mom," Natasha deadpanned, nudging Steve and regaining his attention as she handed Steve a plastic teal cup. With cup in hand, Steve turned around to face the island as he started pouring his own water. Natasha pondered, "What's your address, so I can spend my summer there where it'll be Brock-free."

"Right, that's the reason why you want my address," Brock scoffed and joked, "You sure you're not trying to stalk me instead?"

"Damn, ya caught me," Natasha stated indifferently as she crossed the room, taking a seat in the red chair in front of Brock. She continued, "And here I was, thinking that I was playing it cool."

Since Natasha was sitting at the table, Steve started heading that way too. However, within taking a few steps, Steve was suddenly conscious of himself. Hoping that no one was looking at him, but not feeling confident enough to glance up to see if anyone actually was. Instead, keeping his gaze downcast. Sure, his fleece shorts and red sleep shirt covered everything that Steve wanted to keep covered. And although Steve had been considered "flat-chested" when he was presenting as a girl, he was still aware that he didn't have the chest that he desired.

Taking a seat next to Natasha in a yellow frame chair with a floral cushion, Steve tried to sit at an angle where the faded red material seemed baggier. Finding the best position with him resting his forearms on the table, holding the cup of water, so that he seemed more concave.

"So, what do you do for fun around here?" Natasha questioned as Sam pulled out the teal chair on the other side of her.

"Probably the same that you do back home," Sam chuckled, a sound that was welcoming and possessed a familiarity in it that felt like home.

"Doubtful," Natasha scoffed, a smirk tugging at her lips in a silent challenge.

<https://www.wattpad.com/767690526-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	14. Fourteen

**Fourteen:**

"Well, shoot honey," Brock smirked, "If ya wanna have fun, I know how to have fun."

Natasha reclined in her seat and crossed her arms along her chest as she stared down Brock. Casually, Natasha stated, "Not my type, _honey_."

"Yeah?" Brock chuckled. Resting his elbows on the table, Brock leaned forward and wiggled his eyebrows as he said, "I bet I could change that."

"Brock," Sam warned, giving Brock a pointed look.

Brock playfully rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat as he defended himself, "I'm just teasing."

"Uh huh," Sam scoffed, shaking his head and clearly not believing his friend either.

Before anything else could be said, there was a beep from the oven behind them. For a moment, Steve thought about getting it, but Bucky stood from the table first. Sliding out from his seat and making sure to give Steve enough room as he headed around the blond and over to the oven.

"Make sure you put the right time this time," Brock mocked. Steve's brows furrowed and Brock explained, "Buck always manages to burn everything that he tries to make."

"I follow the instructions, so I don't know how it always happens," Bucky declared, putting the cookie sheet with pizza rolls into the oven.

"Guess you can't be good at everything, huh?" Natasha good-naturedly teased her cousin.

"No," Sam agreed, "You sure as hell can't."

"Never claimed to be good at everything. Or anything, for that matter," Bucky stated, going to slide behind the table back to his seat on the bench, but he stumbled. Accidentally, harshly, hitting his knee against Steve's, causing the other boys to laugh. Even Natasha giggled a little.

While Steve rubbed his sore knee, Bucky blushed and apologized, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Steve reassured Bucky with a small smile. Although Bucky did hit Steve's knee pretty hard, it was an accident. Steve also felt bad with the way that the longer the laughter went on, the darker Bucky's blush got.

"See, there's no proof that _I_ pushed Bucky into Steve earlier," Brock mocked while Bucky rubbed his own sore knee.

Not being able to hold his tongue any longer, Steve asked Brock, "Do you treat all of your friends this way?"

Brock cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes as he evaluated Steve for a minute. There was a sly smirk on Brock's tan face and he feigned innocence as he asked, "What way?"

"The douchey way," Natasha declared, taking a sip of her water.

"You," Brock redirected his attention to Natasha, "Think that I'm a douche?"

Steve looked down at his hands that were now resting on his lap. Growing up, Steve was taught that if he didn't have anything nice to say, he shouldn't say anything at all. So, Steve decided not to say anything. Which didn't mean that nothing was said.

"Yes," Natasha nonchalantly answered. Steve glanced up and noticed Brock's gaze on the cup of water as he smeared the condensation with the pad of his thumb. Brock's expression was blank, practically stony, but Steve noticed a vulnerability and a sadness in his eyes.

Feeling bad for making Brock feel bad, Steve amended, "Not _you_, necessarily. Just some of the things you do."

"Nah, Brock's a douche," Clint teased while Sam agreed, "You had it right the first time."

"So," Natasha started as Brock smiled at his friends. She looked between the boys and asked, "You've just accepted it?"

"I mean," Sam started and stopped, shrugging as though he had made his case.

Then, Brock sassed, "I mean, Stevie's clearly accepted that you're a bitch."

The boys who had been laughing, immediately stopped. Everyone looked at Natasha to see that she had a smile on her face. Steve wondered if anyone else could recognize the vindictive edge to her seemingly sweet grin. It was enough to send a chill down Steve's spine, knowing exactly what was about to come next.

"First off," Natasha started, pausing to take a drink of her water. Setting the cup down, Natasha coolly continued, "No one gets to call him, 'Stevie,' but me. Second, you don't even know me. The sun could shine out of my ass 24/7 and you'd be none the wiser."

Sam and Clint were softly chuckling, as Steve pressed his lips together, keeping himself from laughing. Meanwhile, Bucky and Brock both looked incredibly shocked by Natasha and the calm way that she was talking.

Leaning forward, Natasha finished, "Third, you keep up this attitude and you'll wish that you never met me."

<https://www.wattpad.com/767778465-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	15. Fifteen

**Fifteen:**

As it turned out, Bucky did manage to burn the pizza rolls. Somehow. Luckily, they weren't burnt too badly and were instead just kind of too crispy. But that was okay. Steve enjoyed his food with a little more crunch. Of course, that didn't stop Natasha from insisting to make more the, "right way."

"You don't have to eat 'em," Bucky quietly told Steve as Steve popped another pizza roll into his mouth.

Steve's brows furrowed as he looked over at Bucky, still chewing the delicious bite size piece of heaven. As Steve swallowed the bite, he reassured, "They taste fine."

Bucky just stared at Steve for a moment. Steve adverted his gaze, but out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Bucky nodding. Glancing up in time to see Bucky directing his eyeline down to the plate of pizza rolls in front of Steve.

"Are you sure you don't want to have any _good_ pizza rolls when they're done?" Natasha questioned as she returned to her seat in the red chair.

Shoving another burnt roll into his mouth, Steve happily, playfully, corrected Natasha, "These _are_ the good ones."

Natasha rolled her eyes before linking her fingers together on the table. Evaluating Bucky as she interrogated, "So, what's it like being a genius?"

"What? I'm not -- no, I'm… I'm, uh, not," Bucky nervously chuckled. His brows furrowing as he asked, "Why would you think that?"

"Because you're a genius," Clint stated, reaching over to take a pizza roll off Steve's plate. As he chewed the roll, his face twisted in disgust and he joked, "How can you eat these? They're awful!"

Steve shrugged, ate another pizza roll. Peeking a glance at Bucky to find him blushing. Bucky caught Steve and quietly tried to defend himself, "I'm not a genius. Really, I'm not. The furthest thing from one."

Clint rolled his eyes and shook his head while mouthing, "Don't listen to him." Then he lifted his hands and moved them around his head as though he was gesturing that Bucky had a big brain.

Smiling, Steve popped another one into his mouth. Unintentionally attracting Bucky's attention to his mouth in the process. Butterflies started fluttering in Steve's stomach, but he couldn't take his eyes off the handsome brunet in front of him. Even if Bucky couldn't keep his gaze on Steve and bashfully ducked his head while his high cheekbones started to turn pink.

Well, until a loud clang came from behind him. Bucky's gaze flittered around Steve and Steve turned to look behind himself. There, Steve spotted Sam picking up the pans that had been knocked onto the floor while Brock stood there, laughing. Shaking her head, Natasha stood from the table. Making sure that her black flannel pajama shorts wouldn't reveal anything, before dropping to pick up the pans along with Sam.

Since Natasha was helping, Brock dropped down too. Steve narrowed his eyes as he studied Brock. Suspicious that Brock was only helping in hopes of winning Natasha over. Or to possibly try to see up her sleep shorts.

"What's going on?" Winifred questioned, surprising everyone with her sudden appearance.

"Sam knocked over some pans," Brock claimed.

Winifred's brows furrowed and she walked around the large kitchen island to find Sam, Natasha, and Brock. Closing her eyes, Winifred took in a deep breath before turning and heading out of the kitchen. Grabbing a couple of the burnt pizza rolls and blowing kisses to Sam and Bucky on his way across the living room and to the room across from the guest room.

"You know," Natasha started, standing up, "You shouldn't blame things on your friends."

"What?!" Brock chuckled incredulously, standing up as well. He pointed over at Sam and accused, "He _did_ do it!"

"Right," Clint scoffed, sarcastically agreed. Leaning towards Steve, he asked, "Can you believe him?"

A smile stretched across Steve's face and he shook his head as he turned back to look at Sam as Sam mocked, "That's me. Sam "Butterfinger" Barnes."

Natasha laughed at that. A big hardy laugh, that was possibly too loud and inappropriate, but it was the nicest sound that Steve had heard from her in a while. Sure, Steve was privy to the occasional giggle and snort. But this was different. This had been missing since Sarina got sick. This was home. And Steve didn't care if it woke the whole house up. It had been long overdue. Steve would sell his soul if it meant that Natasha could be happy again. But for now, Steve would simply take it as a sign that this summer could be amazing.

<https://www.wattpad.com/767859860-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	16. Sixteen

**Sixteen:**

The next day, Steve is awoken by two girls arguing over something. In his grogginess, he couldn't make out anything really. Just the back and forth of, "nuh uh," and, "yeah huh."

"Shut up!" Natasha sleepily yelled from beside Steve, causing the girls in the other room to go silent. As she rolled over onto her back, she asked Steve, "What time is it anyway?"

Yawning, Steve rolled onto his side. Reaching for his cellphone, Steve blindly searched for it on the side table before squinting his tired eyes to actually look for it. With it finally in hand, Steve pressed the home button and cleared his throat to inform Natasha, "Almost ten."

"What the fuck," Natasha groaned and rolled onto her side, nuzzling into Steve's back as she said, "I didn't get nearly enough sleep."

"Me either," Steve confirmed with a loud yawn, closing his eyes as he settled back into his spot.

"Don't they know we're sleeping?" Natasha grumbled behind Steve, her forehead pressed to Steve's shoulder blade.

Yawning again, Steve tiredly agreed, "Rude."

"So rude," Natasha agreed, reaching up between their bodies to carefully scratch her nose. Bumping her still sore nose, Natasha let out a little pained, "Ow."

"You probably should've iced it before," Steve suggested, just a little too late as he glanced over his shoulder.

"You probably should've iced it," Natasha mocked, poking his side to make him squirm before she rolled over to her back.

Since Natasha rolled over, so did Steve. With a scowl, Natasha looked over Steve, but Steve childishly stuck his tongue out at her. Knowing that Natasha wouldn't be able to keep the scowl once he did so. And just like Steve expected, the scowl vanished from Natasha's face before she started giggling uncontrollably.

When a snort escaped her in her glee, Steve good-humoredly teased, "What was that?!"

"Shut up!" Natasha swatted at him and snorted again, only causing Steve's laughter to get louder.

Trying to stop her giggles, Natasha covered her mouth and accidentally, harshly bumped her nose. Wincing, Natasha's eyes started to water and she softly said, "Ow."

Getting out of bed, Steve headed over to the ensuite and promptly got a washcloth. Running it under the cold water until all of it was wet, Steve turned the sink faucet off and wrung it out before carrying it over to Natasha.

"Thanks," Natasha stated, accepting the damp cloth from Steve. Holding it up to her sore nose, Natasha wistfully informed, "I'll tell ya what, Stevie. You sure do make a girl wish she was your boyfriend."

Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head as he headed into the bathroom. Brushing his teeth, Steve's gaze roamed over his reflection. His floppy blond hair was mussed, and against Steve's best efforts to train his hair to lay a certain way, it didn't seem to be working very well. There were dark circles under his eyes, but that was probably because Steve hadn't gotten a lot of sleep in the past couple of days.

Spitting in the sink, Steve rinsed the toothbrush and tilted his head from side-to-side to get different angles of his jaw. Once Natasha walked over to the bathroom, she paused in the doorway and watched Steve for a moment. Steve glanced over at her and Natasha asked, "What cha doin'?"

"Do you --" Steve started before cutting himself off. Turning from his reflection to his friend, Steve helplessly gestured towards his face, "My jaw?"

Natasha's brows furrowed and she crossed her arms along her chest, "What do you mean?"

Steve's brows also furrowed and he asked, "Does it seem… different…?"

"Different?" Natasha questioned and Steve nodded. With her brows still furrowed, Natasha studied Steve for a moment. Taking a step into the bathroom, Natasha placed the damp washcloth on the side of the sink and took Steve's chin between her thumb and forefinger. Tilting Steve's head at different angles as she evaluated the fine lines of Steve's jaw.

"Well?" Steve prompted once Natasha's hand dropped.

Natasha nodded and confirmed, "It appears to be yours, alright."

Steve rolled his eyes and swatted at Natasha as he clarified, "Not what I meant."

"Oh," Natasha feigned innocence, but the smirk tugging at her lips gave her away. As she started to brush her teeth, Natasha said, "Moust def-net-leh oore as-cah-lehn."

Chuckling, Steve's brows furrowed as he tried to decipher, "More… masculine?"

Nodding, Natasha gently tapped the tip of her nose with her index finger like when they played charades. Steve grinned at that. Looking over his reflection again. Tilting his head in different ways to look at his jaw, trying to convince himself that Natasha's compliment was a fact rather than just kind words.

"Yeah," Steve agreed, running his hand over his smooth face, "More masculine."

Playfully, Natasha rolled her eyes before spitting the foamy dregs into the sink. Wiping her mouth, Natasha teased, "Easy there, Brock."

"Hey," Steve argued and said, "I am nowhere near as bad as him."

Natasha booped his nose on her way out of the bathroom, "Let's keep it that way, yeah?"

<https://www.wattpad.com/767938803-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	17. Seventeen

**Seventeen:**

Dressed and ready to go, Steve followed Natasha out of the room. Keeping his gaze on the lilac _stop wasting oxygen_ tee that Natasha had tucked into her high-waisted jean shorts. Over the short dividing wall that separated the living room from the hallway to find the Barnes sisters lounging about. Becca and Tibby on the lime-green sofa. Mandy in the deep purple velvet chase. The burnt orange armchair left unoccupied.

"Nattie!" Tibby greeted, hopping up from her seat and knocking the game controller on the floor. Bending over, Tibby picked up and asked, "Do you and Steve want to play?"

"No," Natasha answered for both as she led the way towards the kitchen. Reaching the kitchen, Natasha didn't stop until she reached the fridge where she promptly opened it and pulled out two waters, passing one to Steve. As she opened hers, she called out, "Where is everyone?"

"Mom's in the studio," Becca replied, glancing over the back of the sofa to look into the kitchen.

Skipping into the kitchen, Tibby declared, "The boys are thinking about going to the lake!"

"The lake?" Natasha asked, quirking a brow as she took a drink of her water.

"You're welcome to join," Mandy informed, glancing away from her phone and into the kitchen, "If you want."

Natasha glanced over at Steve while Tibby excitedly chanted, "Please! Please! Please!"

Quirking a brow, Natasha silently questioned Steve. She understood that sometimes, Steve didn't feel comfortable with doing certain things. Going swimming with a bunch of people that he didn't know, was high on the list of, "not gonna happen." Which, Natasha could understand, every time. But Natasha made sure to always leave it up to Steve, even when she already knew the answer.

Chewing on his lower lip, Steve tried not to notice the way that the seven-year-old was happily dancing around the kitchen in anticipation of their answer. Of Steve's answer. Steve didn't have the heart to decline the offer though.

Luckily for him, Natasha did.

Natasha twisted the cap back on her bottled water and breezily told her cousins, "Maybe next time."

Steve let out a sigh of relief and gave Natasha a thankful look. In silent reply, Natasha winked. Letting him know that she always had her Stevie's back. Although, the way Tibby sagged made Steve seriously debate whether he should reconsider his decision.

Before Steve could give in however, an array of male voices filtered in from the mudroom as the group of teen boys entered from the garage. Teasing and laughter surrounded them and instantly gained the attention of the house.

"Hey!" Sam greeted Natasha and Steve with a large toothy grin that was so contagious that it even made Natasha smile. Not a smirk either. A genuine smile. With teeth. Which was in complete contrast of being a cold-hearted bitch who leaves before she's left who might just sacrifice you to Satan for a pack of cigarettes.

"My, oh my," Brock started, leaning on the island close to Natasha and Steve. A shit-eating grin on his smug face as he complimented, "Don't you two look pretty today."

Steve's jaw clenched and Natasha mimicked Brock's stance and expression, "And don't you look like an arrogant jackass. Again."

The smirk fell from Brock's face as he narrowed his eyes at Natasha and sneered, "I'm trying to compliment you." He let his gaze wander to Steve as he amended, "Both of you."

"Oh, wow, I had no idea," Natasha mocked, feigning innocence.

As though Sam could sense the tension in the room, he decided to cut in and offered, "We're going to the lake. Supposed to be real hot today, might be nice."

"Don't vampires explode in sunlight?" Brock teased, not backing down from challenging Natasha.

"Don't mind him," Clint reassured, clapping his hand harshly on Brock's back and joked, "He thinks he's funny."

Natasha directed her attention to Clint and deadpanned, "Hilarious. A true comedian. A voice of our generation."

Bucky, who had joined later, snickered from the mudroom doorway. Earning a glare from Brock and a smirk from Steve, Bucky blushed and dropped his gaze to the floor. But Steve could still see the way Bucky bit back his own grin, only making Steve's own smile grow.

"But seriously, you're both more than welcome to join us," Sam encouraged as he placed the large cooler on the island, between Natasha and Brock and started to load it up with bottles of water and soda cans.

"Thanks, but," Natasha shrugged and narrowed her eyes at Brock before repeating the words she gave Tibby, "Maybe next time."

Even though Natasha didn't say it, it was clear what she meant. Maybe when Brock wasn't there. Which Steve was more than grateful for. Not that it was a promise that they'd truly go next time. But at least it made one thing clear: they sure as hell weren't going to go with Brock being there.

<https://www.wattpad.com/768254227-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	18. Eighteen

**Eighteen:**

It was around four when Natasha got bored. The house was quiet with everyone gone except for Natasha and Steve. And despite them getting the Wi-Fi password, Natasha was getting antsy. Which meant that Steve was about to feel like a criminal or a babysitter. Especially once Natasha tossed her phone to the side and slid off the sofa.

Crawling over to the cupboards on either side of the fireplace, Natasha opened the right ones first. Finding a plethora of DVDs and Blue-rays. Natasha started rummaging through them and informed Steve, "Their taste in movies isn't complete shit."

"That's good, I guess," Steve replied as he picked up the landline that Winifred had encouraged them to use whenever. After dialing Sarah's number on the cordless, Steve held the receiver up to his ear and waited.

"Hello?" Sarah finally answered, causing so much relief in Steve that he actually felt the tears building in his eyes.

"Hi, Mom," Steve relaxed in his spot on the lime-green sofa.

"Hi, honey," Sarah cheerily greeted. Steve's whole body warmed at his mom's kindness and joy from simply hearing from him. Even though Steve wasn't looking at Sarah, he could still hear the smile in her voice as she asked, "How's it going?"

"Fine," Steve answered, clearing his throat that had suddenly gotten tight. To lighten the mood, Steve teased, "We haven't been arrested."

"Yet!" Natasha loudly added, so Sarah would hear it.

"Yet," Steve softly chuckled under his breath, earning a wink from Natasha as she still sat on the floor. She was holding a movie case in her hand, reading the back summary.

"Steve Grant, that's not funny," Sarah scorned, but Steve could still hear the smile in her voice. Then, Sarah asked, "How's Nattie been? Is she being nice?"

"Compared to usual," Steve trailed off, looking over at Natasha who was comparing two movies, "Good, actually. We haven't done much, but it's been better than expected."

"Well, that's good. Make sure to -- what, Eddie?" Sarah paused and Steve could hear Eddie saying something, but he couldn't quite make it out. All that Steve could distinguish was the excitement in his high-pitched voice. Sarah relayed, "Eddie wants to talk to you."

"Put him on," Steve chuckled and heard the shuffling sounds as the phone was passed between them.

"Stevie, you're never going to believe what Daddy said last night!" Eddie exclaimed in lieu of a greeting, using so much enthusiasm that Steve had to pull the phone away from his ear in hopes of saving his eardrum.

Genuinely intrigued, Steve asked, "What did Dad say?"

"He said I could have a cat!" Eddie excitedly squealed so loudly that Natasha could hear him.

While Natasha's brows arched high on her forehead, hidden by her choppy gray bangs, Steve's brows furrowed. Steve had wanted a cat for forever. He had been asking Sarah and Joseph for a cat for longer than Eddie had been alive. And now that Steve was away for the summer and was soon to be going off to college, his parents decided to get a cat.

Steve's throat tight, he questioned, "He said you could have a cat?"

"Yes!" Eddie happily confirmed, unaware of how betrayed Steve felt in that moment.

Which, why wouldn't Steve feel betrayed? It's not like Steve had wanted a cat for as long as he could remember, or anything. Nope, not at all. It wasn't like Steve begged Sarah for a cat ever since he could talk and grew up with her friend's fat tabby, Meatloaf. Nope. Why would Steve be upset about that?

Steve could feel Natasha watching him, so he stood from the sofa. Heading over to the guestroom, Steve closed the door behind himself and instructed Eddie, "Put Mom on the phone."

"Okay, bye, Stevie," Eddie agreed. More shuffling noises, but before the phone was successfully passed back to Sarah, Eddie said, "I love you."

"I love you too," Steve stated with a small smile tugging at his lips. Pacing, he reminded, "Mom?"

"Oh, right!" Eddie giggled and passed the phone over to Sarah.

Sheepishly, Sarah asked, "Are you excited?"

"Why is it suddenly okay?" Steve immediately questioned, feeling the tears building in his eyes. Clenching his jaw, Steve was reminded that he had his T shot tomorrow. He always got more emotional when he was in need of another dose, and he instantly wanted to apologize for his harsh tone. Even though he desperately felt justified in his recent turn of mood.

Before Steve could apologize, however, Sarah explained, "Well Nick Fury's mom, Nia, her cat is pregnant, but she's being put into a home since she broke her hip, ya know? And Nick didn't want to take care of all those cats. You know how busy he is. So, I suggested that we take in the cat."

Feeling absolutely pathetic as the tears spilled over, Steve harshly wiped at his cheeks, hoping that the tears would stop. Steve hated feeling like this. He tried to hold onto what his therapist, Dr. Coulson, told him. How Steve needed to remind himself that his parents loved him, Eddie loved him, Natasha loved him. That Steve was a good son, a good friend, a good person.

"Joey said that we might be able to keep the whole litter," Sarah continued, which just made Steve feel even worse. Mainly because Steve knew that Sarah was trying to cheer him up.

Clearing his throat, Steve declared, "Hey, um, I should… I should probably go. I love you and Dad and Eddie too."

"We love you too," Sarah stated. Steve hung up before she could say anything more and plopped down on the bed. Burying his face in the closest pillow and letting out all his frustration.

<https://www.wattpad.com/768659245-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	19. Nineteen

**Nineteen:**

"Stevie?" Natasha softly questioned as she gently touched his shoulder.

Blinking, Steve realized that he was on the bed, facing the window. His pillow was wet and his face felt sticky. Stiffly, Steve stretched his legs out from where they had been kept close to his chest. Realizing that in his mental spiral of his abandonment issues, he had curled up into the fetal position.

Turning to look at Natasha, Steve rubbed his eyes while she quietly asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Steve croaked out his reassurance. The instant regret closed in on him when he noticed the deep furrowed brow on his best friend's face. Steve noticed that the sky was gray and he asked, "Time?"

"It's going on seven," Natasha answered, handing Steve a bottle of water. Steve graciously took it from her and slowly sat up before chugging half the bottle. Natasha was still watching Steve with worried eyes and she asked, "Are you okay?"

Steve nodded and looked down at his hand in embarrassment, "Yeah. I'm just… a little fatigued."

"Okay," Natasha readily agreed, even though Steve was sure that she could see right through him. Standing up, she asked, "Are you hungry?"

Worrying his lower lip with his teeth, Steve kept his gaze on his hands. His embarrassment grew as he wondered if the rest of the Barnes family knew what had happened. Thinking about it, Steve's cheeks started to get redder and his lip quivered as the tears started building in his blue eyes again. This wasn't how Steve imagined the vacation being as. He was supposed to be the calm and collected one that balanced out Natasha's dramatics.

"Ya know," Natasha started, gaining Steve's attention. With her hands on her hips, Natasha huffed out a breath and teased, "This could be good. Give me an excuse to avoid everyone."

"Funny," Steve deadpanned before rolling his eyes. He sniffled and wiped his face. As he felt the stickiness from his previous tears, Steve sighed and stood from the bed. Entering the bathroom to wash his face.

Catching a glance of his reflection, Steve noticed how splotchy his face was and how glassy his eyes were. Not only that, but his short floppy hair was stuck to the side of his face from the way his tears had streamed down his temple.

Getting to work, Steve pushed his hair out of his face and wet a washcloth. Scrubbing his face aggressively in his attempts to get his face all one color. Even if that one color was simply red.

Evaluating his face, Steve rasped, "I don't look too splotchy, right?"

"No," Natasha reassured from the doorway. Steve didn't seem so sure and Natasha clarified, "Red, but not splotchy. Like you just woke up from a nap."

Steve nodded, turning back to the mirror. Fixing his hair the best that he could. Steve wondered if he should say something, but didn't know what. An apology was on the tip of his tongue, but Steve knew that Natasha would never accept it. Natasha would brush it off, understanding that Steve should be able to feel whatever he was feeling. That Steve's emotions were valid.

A knock on the bedroom door interrupted anything that Steve was planning on saying and Natasha stepped back into the bedroom and Steve followed. Opening the door, Mandy stood there and she seemed pleased to find Steve.

"Oh, good, you're awake," Mandy greeted, smiling at Steve. Looking between Natasha and Steve, Mandy declared, "Dinner is almost ready."

"Okay, thanks," Natasha nodded. Glancing over her shoulder, it was clear that she was silently questioning Steve if he was ready. Natasha looked back at Mandy and relayed, "We'll be out in a minute."

Once the door was closed, Natasha looked back at Steve and Steve let out a deep breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding. Steve asked, "Should I go out there?"

Momentarily, Natasha's expression took on one of worry before completely disappearing as the lines in her face smoothed. Natasha evaluated Steve before encouraging, "You most definitely should."

Chewing on his lower lip, Steve nodded and stood a little taller as he followed Natasha out of the bedroom. Trying to appear more confident in the moment than he actually felt. After all, he was hoping that the Barnes didn't know what had actually been going on. Sure, they seemed nice and all, but Steve didn't want to think of all the negative things they could think about him if they knew.

There were just certain things in his life that Steve wanted to keep to himself. He was sure that they'd be able to understand. Or, at least he hoped they would.

<https://www.wattpad.com/768763242-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	20. Twenty

**Twenty:**

The lights were dim and out the back door, Steve noticed for the first time, that it was raining. The rain had always comforted Steve, and it caused him to ease. Just a little bit, at least.

The commotion from the kitchen was surprisingly the softest that it had been since the pair arrived to the house. Relieved when Steve discovered that it appeared to be just the Barnes. None of their friends in sight. For which, Steve was eternally grateful for because Steve knew that his anxiety most definitely wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Of course, then Steve felt immediately bad because Clint had been nothing but nice to the pair since he met them.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Tibby asked once she spotted Steve.

Steve's brows briefly furrowed and he looked over at Natasha. Natasha looked right back at Steve. Expectantly, even. As though Steve wasn't catching on as he quickly as he should've been. After another minute though, it became obvious to Steve. Obviously, it wasn't a coincidence that Mandy had assumed Steve was asleep and then Tibby asked how his nap was.

Blushing, Steve cleared his throat and rasped, "Yeah, it was fine. Thanks."

Tibby beamed up at Steve before finishing setting the table along with Mandy. Becca was at the stove, stirring something in a large pot. It was then that Steve got a whiff of the delicious smelling food. A soup or stew of some kind, Steve assumed. Standing beside her, Sam was flipping a grilled sandwich while trying to show off to his younger sister.

Both laughing, Sam glanced over his shoulder to find Steve and Natasha. With a large grin on his face, Sam cheerily declared, "I hope you're hungry."

Natasha crossed her arms and stood on her tip toes as she tried to peer between her cousins to see what was cooking. Brows furrowing, Natasha curiously asked, "What are you making?"

"Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches," Becca answered with a smile that showed off a dimple in her right cheek.

"That's okay, right?" Sam quickly asked, looking over at Steve while his expression took on one of concern. He looked up at the ceiling, as though he was in thought as he tried to remember something. After a moment, Sam returned his eyeline back to Steve and he questioned, "You can eat it, right? You're not allergic to any of it? We made sure to get all new oil and everything just to be on the safe side."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Steve's lips as he was reminded of just how few people took Steve's allergies into consideration. Clearing his throat again, Steve confirmed, "I can eat it."

"Whew," Sam theatrically pretended to wipe imaginary sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and a smile graced his face. Sending a wink to Steve, Sam went back to flipping sandwiches and whistling.

"It is _wet_ today," Bucky exclaimed as he entered from the garage.

"That's what she said," Mandy joked, exchanging high fives from Sam as she grabbed some napkins.

Bucky good-naturedly sarcastically laughed while he removed his galoshes. Of course, that only earned more laughter from his siblings as he unzipped his drenched hooded sweatshirt. His tousled brown locks stuck to the back of his neck as he turned and walked into the laundry room.

As Bucky returned, rubbing his face and hair with a fluffy sky-blue towel, Natasha elbowed Steve. Gaining Steve's attention, Natasha leaned in close to quietly tease, "Drool much?"

Steve could feel the blood rush to his cheeks, but he didn't correct Natasha. Natasha knew him well enough to know when Steve was lying anyway, so Steve decided to stay quiet. Turning his gaze back to Bucky, he found that Bucky was already watching him.

Quickly, Bucky ducked his head and entered the kitchen. As he started crossing the room, Bucky glanced up at Steve from beneath his lashes. But made sure to drop his gaze once he saw that Steve was still watching him.

Butterflies started fluttering in Steve's stomach as he watched Bucky leave the room and head down the hallway to his bedroom. Steve bit at his lower lip and cast his gaze to his feet as he tried not to get too blushy with the fact that Bucky had been looking at him.

That was, of course, easier said than done. Even after Bucky returned to the kitchen and everyone took a seat at the table. And Steve wasn't sure if it was a conscious decision when Bucky took the seat across from him, but Steve sure hoped that it was.

<https://www.wattpad.com/768806924-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	21. Twenty-One

**Twenty-One:**

Steve laid in bed, awake. He wasn't sure how long it had been, but he was guessing it had been a while. Especially since Natasha's breathing was soft and even, and had been for a while. Steve turned his head to look at Natasha. She was sleeping the way that she always did, on her stomach.

Turning back to his previous position, staring up at the ceiling, Steve knew that he couldn't stay in bed any longer. So, cautiously, Steve climbed out of bed. Making sure not to move too much in hopes of not disturbing Natasha because, as a surprise to absolutely no one, she was grumpy when she didn't get enough sleep.

When Natasha didn't stir, Steve crossed the room and grabbed his charging phone. Luckily for Steve, it was almost time for him to take his T shot. So, Steve headed into the bathroom and internally groaned when the door creaked.

With the door shut and locked, Steve turned on the light and, a little too cheerfully, made his way over to the mirrored cabinet where he had placed his T and comfort assist syringes. Washing his hands, he tried to hype himself up. Even though he knew that this was what his body needed and even though he had been doing so weekly for the past four months, Steve still hated doing it.

Once his hands were dried, Steve took in a deep breath. Grabbing an individually packaged disinfectant patch, a syringe, and the small vial of testosterone. Opening the wipe, he carefully swiped it over the top of the vial before pausing. Suddenly, Steve couldn't remember which leg he was supposed to inject.

After a moment of consideration, Steve decided to just do his left and promptly pulled his shorts leg up to rub the wipe over his thigh. Once that was done, Steve tossed the wipe into the nearby trashcan and upcapped the syringe. Taking the small bottle of T into his hand, Steve poked the needle into the top and started filling the syringe with way more than he currently needed. But Steve liked to have enough liquid so when he pushed it back into the vial to get all the air bubbles out, there'd be enough left over in the syringe.

Having his correct dosage, Steve removed the needle and pinched his thigh to create more fat to inject himself. Sure, there wasn't a lot. But Steve made do with what he had. Taking in a deep breath, Steve jabbed the needle into his thigh and blew the breath out as he pushed the hormone into his body.

With teary eyes, Steve capped the syringe again and set it in the sharps waste container. Washing his hands again, Steve went through with the rest of his morning routine. His leg was still sore, but he knew that it was worth it. Steve knew that if he had to inject himself every day, he'd still do it. Gladly, he'd add.

Ready for his day, he quietly exited the bathroom and made sure to grab his current novel before exiting the bedroom. Keeping his steps light, Steve didn't want to disturb anyone else, he headed over to the breakfast nook where the mismatched kitchen table was. Turning on the light and sliding into the bench seat where he could stretch out his sore leg.

Getting comfy on the cushioned bench, Steve opened the novel and started to settle in for a good read. Partly in hopes that it would tire him. Even though he knew that it probably won't. Especially not in the middle of a coming-of-age romance where the characters were falling for each other even though they denied it to everyone, including themselves.

As Steve was caught up in the novel, the lights under the kitchen cabinets turned on. With furrowed brows, Steve looked towards the other kitchen entrance to find Bucky. Bucky was rubbing his eyes with his large hand, not noticing Steve yet.

Steve's brows relaxed as he took Bucky in. With Bucky's bedhead causing his brown locks to spring out in different directions, he instantly made Steve's heart stutter. With the way Bucky was only wearing a pair of navy-blue boxer briefs hanging lowly on his hips, revealing a toned torso that Steve would've never guessed he possessed, Steve's breath hitched.

A blush forming on the apples of Steve's freckled cheeks, Steve returned his gaze to his book. Although he would've liked nothing more than to just sit there observing Bucky, he knew that he had to let Bucky know that he wasn't alone.

So, Steve softly questioned, "Couldn't sleep?"

At that, Steve could see out of his periphery the way that Bucky froze in the doorway. Bucky's hand dropped from his eyes and he turned his gaze on Steve with quirked eyebrows before slipping a pair of black frame glasses on. Steve glanced up then, deciding that Bucky was unfairly attractive.

Bucky blinked a few times before heading over to the coffee maker and clearing his throat. In a sleep dripped voice, Bucky clarified, "I usually wake up early on Mondays."

"Why's that?" Steve asked, watching Bucky enter the mudroom out of the corner of his eyes.

A moment later, Bucky returned to the kitchen sporting a pair of fleece gray shorts and tugging on a plain white t-shirt as he replied, "Monster Movie Monday."

"Monster Movie Monday?" Steve repeated with furrowed brows, setting his book on the table.

"Yup," Bucky confirmed, grabbing a box of Trix cereal from the small pantry cabinet and a midnight blue ceramic bowl from the cupboard. As he started pouring the cereal, he explained, "Every Monday during the summer one of the local channels plays old monster movies from five to nine; a double feature of sorts."

As Bucky went to grab the milk from the fridge, he paused and turned to face Steve. With his brows in a deep furrow, Bucky asked, "Do you want something to eat? You don't have to have cereal. We have bread. I think we might even have cinnamon raisin. Or if you'd rather have pancakes, we have some pancake mix. And chocolate chips too, if you like to add those. It's no hassle at all, I can --"

"Cereal is fine," Steve interrupted. Blushing when his sleepy brain realized that it was rude. Sheepishly, Steve moved out from the bench and crossed the kitchen. His body practically thrumming from being near Bucky.

Bucky bashfully looked away and joked, "Well, you're in the right house if you're a cereal fan."

<https://www.wattpad.com/768838438-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	22. Twenty-Two

**Twenty-Two:**

Bucky opened the pantry and revealed that there were two shelves packed with different cereals. Steve's eyes go wide as he looked over each box, trying to figure out which kind he'd like to eat. Steve chewed on his lower lip while his eyes scanned over the many boxes in front of him.

"It's a bit much, if you ask me," Bucky scoffed, bashfully rubbing the back of his neck.

From behind them, the coffee maker let out a tiny beep, letting Bucky know that it was properly warmed up. Bucky turned to get the grounds ready to start brewing, while Steve stood there debating. After a moment longer, Steve decided on Cinnamon Toast Crunch and closed the pantry.

Setting the box on the countertop, Steve reached up to open the cupboard where the bowls were. Unfortunately. It appeared that the only bowls left were on the shelves that Steve couldn't reach. For a moment, Steve debated whether he should climb onto the counter like he would at his house or Natasha's. Or perhaps grab a chair from the table.

"Here," Bucky offered, making his way back over to Steve. Steve moved to the side, out of Bucky's way and watched as Bucky effortlessly grabbed the first bowl he saw, a mint green ceramic bowl with tiny pink flowers painted around the exterior.

Blushing, Steve took the bowl from Bucky and gazed down at the gold interior. Softly, Steve said, "Thanks."

"No problem," Bucky stated. As Steve kept staring at the bowl, Bucky rushed, "I can get you another bowl."

Steve turned his gaze to Bucky and Steve's brows furrowed, "Why?"

Quickly, Bucky's broad shoulders shrugged and he rambled, "I mean, if you want. It's a little… feminine. I can get you a different one, if you want."

Pressing his lips together to fight the smile that wanted to break across his face at Bucky's consideration, Steve looked down at the bowl in his hands. Clearing his throat, Steve reassured, "No, it's okay. Thanks."

"No problem," Bucky repeated. Steve looked up at him just in time to see an expression of regret cross Bucky's face as he quickly crossed the room once again. Once at the coffee maker, Bucky asked, "Would you like some?"

Pouring the cereal into the bowl, Steve turned to look behind him to Bucky. Who was holding up the pot of freshly brewed coffee in an offering. With a smile, Steve nodded his confirmation, "Yes, please."

The smile on Bucky's face grew as he turned back around to pour some coffee for Steve too. Smiling to himself, Steve turned back around to pour milk into his bowl.

Over his broad shoulder, Bucky asked, "Any cream or sugar?"

"Do you have brown sugar?" Steve questioned as he crossed the room to put the milk back in the fridge, but paused when Bucky gestured for it.

"Yes, sir," Bucky informed as he took the milk from Steve and poured some into his own mug. Handing it back to Steve, Steve gladly returned it to the fridge. Reaching in front of him, Bucky grabbed a decorative tin in front of him and asked Steve, "How much?"

"Three spoonfuls please," Steve answered, returning to his bowl of cereal and taking a bite.

Overhead above the entry way, there was a clock that read 4:50. Bucky glanced up at it as he stirred Steve's coffee before passing it over to him. Grabbing his own mug and bowl of cereal, Bucky started heading towards the living room while Steve returned to the table.

"Aren't you -- I mean," Bucky started and paused, turning his gaze downcast as he asked Steve, "Would you like to join me?"

The tips of Bucky's ears were bright red and Steve averted his gaze because Bucky was just too cute. Chewing on his own lower lip, Steve agreed, "Sure --" _I'd love to_ "-- it sounds like fun."

Bucky's gaze moved from the floor and his gray-blue eyes locked with Steve's own sky-blue eyes. Almost shocked that Steve agreed, Bucky just blinked at Steve. Steve pressed his lips together and entered the living room. Bucky took a step back and allowed Steve to move around him and set his mug on the odd shaped yellow coffee table before taking a seat on the lime-green sofa.

Not long after, Bucky joined Steve on the sofa. Setting his mug on the coffee table next to Steve's, Bucky grabbed the remote, and relaxed into the cushion beside Steve's. However, Bucky must have realized how close he was to Steve because he moved over, just a little. Disguising it as just normal shifting, Bucky propped his feet on the coffee table, making sure that Steve had enough space and that his feet wouldn't accidentally knock over either's coffees.

<https://www.wattpad.com/768859349-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	23. Twenty-Three

**Twenty-Three:**

After one final informercial, a movie started. A simple black screen with the credits playing out in blocky white text while a trumpet heavy song played. Steve shifted in his seat. Although it wasn't an ideal opening, and it most definitely wasn't an opening that Steve had seen before. The anticipation was building as the title finally popped on the screen: _I Was A Teenage Werewolf_.

"This is a good one," Bucky stated around a mouthful of soggy cereal.

"Never seen it," Steve admitted, shoveling another spoonful into his mouth.

"I'd be surprised if you had," Bucky smirked, pushing his black frame glasses back up his nose. Gaining Steve's attention, Bucky clarified, "It's an older one. Late 50s."

There was a smile tugging at the corner of Steve's lips as he looked over Bucky. It was beyond obvious that Bucky was a movie fan. After all, Bucky woke up at 4:30 in the morning, just to watch an old monster movie. It was endearing. Cute. Completely adorable. Especially how he was sitting there, watching the movie with a childlike fascination while he shoveled soggy Trix cereal into his mouth.

Feeling Steve watching him, Bucky gave him a sideways glance and he quirked his brow at Steve. For a moment, Steve thought about averting his gaze, but Bucky had already caught him. So, Steve shyly smiled and softly stated, "Hi."

A wide grin slowly spread across Bucky's face as he repeated the greeting, "Hi."

Commotion on the TV broke the moment and both boys turned to face the front again. The movie reclaiming their attention as the characters on screen fought in the center of a circle while being surrounded by their peers. And although it was entertaining, Steve was curious about Bucky.

Briefly, Steve discreetly glanced over at Bucky from the corner of his eyes to find that Bucky was already looking at him. Trying to hide his grin, Steve brought the bowl up to his mouth and drank the cinnamon sugar milk that was left over from the cereal.

Once done, Steve set down the bowl in front of him and grabbed a blanket from the shelf underneath the table. Fixing the blanket on his lap, Steve brought the soft pink fleece material up to his chest and tucked it under his armpits. Still not as comfortable as he wanted to be, Steve went to prop his legs on the coffee table like Bucky, but Steve was too short. So, Steve started wiggling down until the heel of his foot touched the coffee table when Steve realized that Bucky was watching him with a quirked brow and an amused smile on his face.

"Sorry," Steve meekly declared, briefly pausing in his movements before finishing by comfortably reclining in his spot.

While Steve pressed his lips together in embarrassment as his cheeks started to flush, he sheepishly looked over at Bucky. Bucky still had an amused smile on his face and Bucky teasingly asked, "Ya good?"

Steve nodded and playfully pretended to imaginary zip his lips and turned his attention back to the TV. On screen, Steve watched as the lead's girlfriend was waiting for the lead to pick her up for their date. The girlfriend wore a pretty dress with her hair pulled back into a simple, stylish ponytail.

When the lead honked, signaling that he was there for their date, Steve couldn't help but agree with the character's parents when they said the lead was being disrespectful. Steve glanced over at Bucky and quietly mocked, "Uh, rude."

Bucky kept his attention on the movie and Steve suddenly felt defeated. As though he had failed at earning Bucky's attention. So, Steve folded into himself a bit more and turned his gaze back to the TV.

As Steve watched the movie, he found himself having a very difficult time keeping his thoughts and comments to himself. Which was a very odd thing for Steve. He didn't often deal with something so conflicting. Usually, Steve was surrounded by others who couldn't stop talking.

Sitting there though next to Bucky, Steve felt like one of those people that he had wished would just shut up in the past. Especially when he whispered, "If it's Halloween, why aren't they in costumes?"

Bucky shrugged and quietly replied, "Not everyone dresses up."

Silently, Steve rolled his eyes and continued watching the movie. The characters were now at a party at an abandoned building. One of the characters were dressed in a clown costume and she was asking her bongo playing date if he was going to dance with her. Clearly, the bongo player was more interested in his drums than his date as he suggested that she dance with someone else.

The girl on screen was just as confused as Steve was as he muttered under his breath, "That doesn't make any sense."

"You're a talker, aren't ya?" Bucky softly mused as he leaned forward to grab his coffee from the table.

Without Steve even thinking to ask if Bucky would hand him his mug, Bucky grabbed Steve's too and handed it over to Steve. Sheepishly, Steve took it and took a drink, "Thanks."

Feeling bad for talking so much and disrupting Bucky's movie watching experience, Steve pressed his lips together. Wishing that he could shrink away. Disappear in that moment.

"I didn't mean it as a bad thing," Bucky quietly clarified after a moment. Steve chanced a glance at Bucky and found nothing but sincerity from the brunet. Bucky averted his gaze to the mug in his hands as he brought it to his mouth. Before he touched it to his lips, he reassured Steve, "I was just making an observation."

"An observation?" Steve questioned, forgetting about the movie playing on screen. Figuring that he could always find it online later, if he wanted to.

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed, his cheeks red. Shifting in his seat, he lowly admitted, "To better prepare myself."

<https://www.wattpad.com/769086202-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	24. Twenty-Four

**Twenty-Four:**

No matter how much Steve tried to fight the large grin from breaking across his face, he failed. Every time. Steve looked so idiotic as he sucked in his cheeks in hopes of not smiling. Looked like a damn fool as he harshly pressed his lips together until they were white as he desperately fought against his own body.

Even after the double movie feature. Even after Winifred woke up and headed out to the barn turned art studio. Even after Tibby woke up and Bucky made her chocolate chip pancakes and she took over the living room TV and watched _Teen Titans Go!_, which slightly worried Steve. Sure, Eddie watched it back home, but Steve had never personally watched it. But boy did that episode where they all turn into veggie zombies open Steve's eyes.

Standing up, Steve went to leave the room when Bucky spotted him and curiously asked, "Where ya goin'?"

"Oh, uh," Steve paused, pressing his lips together again. Trying to fight that damn smile again, but couldn't when he was looking at Bucky. Especially not when Bucky had a plate of pancakes in hand. Steve averted his gaze to look down the hallway that led to the other bedrooms and gestured with his thumb in the opposite direction where the guestroom was. He stuttered out, "Just, uh, just…"

Bucky looked at the TV and told Tibby, "Tib, let Steve have the TV."

"But Bucky!" Tibby whined as she stomped over to the table where Bucky set her plate of pancakes.

"Tib," Bucky softly warned before reminding her, "Steve's the guest."

"No, it's okay," Steve reassured. Both brunettes looked over at him and Steve said, "I'm just going to… lay down. I'm… pretty tired."

"Oh," Bucky nodded and said, "Okay. Sure. Yeah."

There it was again. Steve's lips went to quirk up, but Steve wasn't having any of that. Instead, he turned and walked around the short wall that separated the hallway from the living room.

Once he was on the other side of the bedroom door, Steve pressed his back against the closed door and finally let himself smile. Of course, it didn’t last long. Especially not when Natasha nearly jumped out of her skin at the rushed way Steve barged into the room.

"Jesus," Natasha breathed, holding her hand up to her chest. Cigarette almost burning her hair as she held it in the hand on her chest. Taking a drag, she scolded, "I thought you were Aunt Freddie."

"You're not supposed to be smoking in the house," Steve quietly sneered as he entered further into the room.

Rolling her eyes, Natasha waved off Steve's comment and took another drag from the cigarette while she sat in front of the open window. Blowing the smoke through the window, she asked, "How long have you been awake?"

Steve shrugged, but he could feel the grin tugging at his lips again. Natasha took note too. Her brows furrowed and she stubbed out the cigarette on the windowsill while she blew the puff of smoke out, "What? What's going on?"

"Noth-nothing," Steve stuttered out.

But Steve was a shit-liar. He always had been, and Natasha saw right through him. Closing the window, she narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips, "We're supposed to be friends. Best friends."

Steve rolled his eyes and said, "We are."

"And what did we learn from _Stranger Things_?" Natasha questioned, crossing her arms along her chest.

"'Friends don't lie,'" Steve automatically replied as he grabbed his yoga mat from the side of the dresser and shook it out.

"Exactly," Natasha confirmed. Standing, she placed her hands on her hips, "So, why ya lyin' to me, Rogers?"

"I'm not," Steve fibbed, turning so his back was facing Natasha as he got ready to start another aspect of his routine.

"Ya know," Natasha snarked, plopping on the bed where she would have a better vantage point, "Just 'cause ya turn away doesn't mean I don't know when you're lying."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Steve sing-songed as he sat cross-legged on the yoga mat with his resting palms up on his knees. Starting, as always, in the easy pose.

"You're so full of shit," Natasha scoffed, playfully hitting Steve with her pillow.

"Actually," Steve closed his eyes and exhaled, "I'm full of nothing but relief."

"Okay," Natasha sarcastically stated, climbing off the bed and entering the bathroom. Returning with her toothbrush, she removed it from her mouth and said, "If you're gonna bone my cousin, just be careful."

Steve choked on his saliva, completely breaking his concentration and causing him to break his pose. Natasha giggled at that and Steve kept coughing, reaching up to grab a half-drunk bottle of water from the dresser. Steve eventually gathered his wits, and he said, "I don't think you have to worry about that."

"Why?" Natasha's brows furrowed. She walked back into the bathroom and Steve worried that her family would be able to hear her as she called, "What? Is my cousin not good enough?"

Quickly, Steve stood from his spot on the yoga mat as he shushed her. With his eyes wide, Steve asked, "Could you _try_ to be any louder?! I don't think Goat Steve heard you!"

"Relax," Natasha scoffed started her makeup routine. "You know that I'm only teasing because I love you."

"Right," Steve rolled his eyes. Leaving the bathroom, Steve asked, "Just love me a little less, huh?"

<https://www.wattpad.com/769220780-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	25. Twenty-Five

**Twenty-Five:**

After his morning with Bucky, Steve couldn't help but wonder if he had made it all up. Surely, they had hit it off, right? It wasn't just Steve's imagination, was it?

No, Steve knew that his imagination was decent, but he wouldn't have been able to fabricate that feeling in the pit of his soul. The way that Bucky had taken care of his cereal bowl during a commercial break. Or how Bucky refilled Steve's coffee in between the two films; even remembering the three scoops of brown sugar. Bucky had done that. All while shrugging off Steve's attempts to do the same for Bucky, to the tune of, "I don't mind, really," and, "you're the guest, allow me."

It just wasn't possible that Steve had imagined it. Especially not the gentle, soothing way that Bucky had spoken. Nor the way his kind grin crinkled all the way up to his mesmerizing eyes. And even if Steve's imagination was that good, he would've never been able to fabricate the exact musical tone Bucky's soft chuckles made at one of Steve's lame commentary.

Steve knew that his imagination was good. But it sure as hell wasn't _that_ good. Yet…

The way that Bucky was practically avoiding Steve now, made Steve question himself. Question his memory and believe that perhaps it was just his imagination.

Long after everyone had woken up, Steve had expected… _something_. A shared glance. A knowing look. A comment about the movies. An offer to spend another Monday morning watching more monster flicks.

But nothing. Nothing happened.

Well, not _nothing_ nothing. Bucky wasn't the best when it came to avoiding. He was clumsy. Tripping over the rug. Bumping into the wall. Accidentally knocking his knee against the coffee table as he walked around Steve, giving him enough space to make Steve feel like he was quarantined.

There was also the way that Steve would see the quick twitch of Bucky's eyes as he turned his gaze elsewhere. Almost as though Bucky had been watching him. Every time that Steve tried to catch him though, Bucky would already be looking at something else, making Steve question if Bucky was even looking at him in the first place.

It was maddening. Steve didn't know Bucky very well, but it reminded him of the relationships that he had witnessed and the games that his friends complained about. And if Steve was being honest -- even if it was only with himself -- it made Steve want to stay as far away from Bucky as possible.

Which was probably the exact reason why Steve and Bucky kept colliding.

Bucky walking around the sofa at the same time that Steve was standing, knocking their knees into each other while Steve fell back into his seat. Steve entering the kitchen just when Bucky exited, both having been hidden by the wall separating the first half of the kitchen and the living room. Knocking Steve right on his ass.

"I'm so sorry," Bucky apologized, extending his hand out to Steve.

Accepting the offer, Steve allowed Bucky to help him stand again, and curiously watched Bucky as his eyes roamed over Steve's body as though he was trying to see any wounds. Steve's brows furrowed as he yanked his arm from Bucky's grasp, causing Bucky to look at him.

With wide eyes, Bucky took a step back and apologized again, "Sorry."

Steve cleared his throat and, with furrowed brows, he assured, "It's okay."

But it sounded more like a question. Bucky's brows furrowed then and Steve tried not to get lost in the way his irises could drown him, knowing that they were even more powerful without the added layer of his glasses. Instantly regretting that he realized it while also wishing that Bucky had kept the glasses on.

"You sure?" Bucky asked, letting his gaze wander over Steve's petite frame.

Straightening his shoulders and standing a bit taller, Steve confirmed, "I'm sure."

"Okay," Bucky nodded, crossing his arms along his chest and averting his gaze.

"Okay," Steve echoed, quirking a brow at Bucky.

Realizing, not for the first time, that he could've spent hours studying Bucky. Days, even. Hell, Steve could've spent years finding out everything about Bucky and categorizing every little tick and twitch. Categorizing every little aspect of Bucky that made up Bucky.

And that terrified Steve.

Steve had never had such a connection with another living soul, bar Natasha. Had never had such a connection after knowing them for such a short amount of time. And Steve was absolutely terrified. This wasn't supposed to happen. Steve was supposed to be there for Natasha, for moral support.

Yet…

That was before Steve met Bucky.

And as Steve studied and categorized Bucky, he prayed to any deity listening that Bucky could feel even a fraction of what Steve was feeling. Even though Steve didn't know all the things that made up Bucky, he wanted the opportunity to discover them all. Steve could only hope that he'd be able to in his allotted time.

<https://www.wattpad.com/769294117-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	26. Twenty-Six

**Twenty-Six:**

All twisted up inside, it wasn't a surprise that Steve didn't sleep well. Just like it wasn't a surprise when he woke up in the late hours of the morning with a knock on the door. Steve's eyes snapped open to find Natasha already awake. She sat there with her chunky headphones on and was strumming her thumbs on her thigh in time to the sound.

Another knock and Steve pushed her thigh, instantly getting her attention. Her brows knitting together as she harshly asked, "What?"

"Someone's at the door," Steve groggily explained before rolling over to face the window.

Feeling the bed dip and quickly spring back into place as Natasha walked over to the door. Steve closed his eyes, wanting to sleep for as long as he could. As Steve started drifting off again, he heard the gruff voice of Brock, and immediately rolled halfway over to keep an eye on Natasha.

"We're going out to the g-spot, you two wanna come?" Brock questioned, causing Natasha's expression to momentarily scrunch in disgust.

"Excuse me?" Natasha questioned, placing her hand on her popped hip.

"It's this great, privately owned water hole," Brock stated, purposely attempting to make it sound dirty.

Steve rolled his eyes and Natasha sneered, "We'll pass, thanks."

"Hey, no need to be so mean, baby," Brock smoothly stated, causing Steve's stomach to twist into even tighter knots.

Natasha leaned in close and told him, "I'm not your, 'baby.'"

Steve wished that he could've seen Brock's face, but Natasha slammed the door right in his usually smug face. Even though Steve wasn't the one who did it, he still felt satisfied by his best friend's actions. It was exactly what he needed as he rolled back over to face the window.

"Fine," Brock called from the other side of the door. "Just trying to be nice!"

"Well, thanks for trying, I guess," Natasha stated, an edge to her words.

"It might be nice if you try too!"

"Don't hold your breath," Natasha mocked from inside the guestroom. Then, she stated, "On second thought --"

"If you're going to keep talking to me, I'm going to assume that it's okay to come in!" Brock called and Steve could picture the smug grin on his stupid face.

"Can you believe that dude?" Natasha quietly scoffed to Steve, returning to her spot on the bed. Steve felt the bed dip as she sat down. Natasha leaned over and rested her head on Steve's shoulder as she asked, "Are you going to sleep all day?"

"Maybe," Steve yawned, his eyes still closed.

"I don't want to be stuck in this room all day," Natasha whined.

Steve groaned in his annoyance and replied, "Then, leave."

"You're no fun when you're tired," Natasha huffed, sitting up. Playfully, she nudged Steve and said, "You're downright grumpy, you know that?"

"That's a sign to leave me alone," Steve said, rolling onto his back. His eyes still closed as he faced the ceiling.

"See," Natasha said, stretching out so she was lying beside Steve. Cuddling closer to Steve, she moved Steve's arm and he placed it around her back as Natasha rested her head on Steve's shoulder. Continuing her statement, "You're no fun when you're tired."

Rubbing Natasha's back, Steve yawned, "Just giving you a taste of your own medicine."

In retaliation, Natasha dug her finger into Steve's side, causing him to squirm away while she muttered, "Ass."

"Bitch," Steve retorted with a chuckle, pulling Natasha just a little closer.

"Rude," Natasha huffed playfully.

"Nah," Steve stretched, tightening his grasp on Natasha while doing so. Relaxing, Steve declared, "What's rude is you waking me up."

"I didn't wake you up," Natasha argued, removing her head from Steve's shoulder, so she could look at him.

Steve shrugged and said, "You're still not letting me sleep."

"Only because it's almost noon," Natasha debated.

"Really?" Steve questioned, peeking over at her. Natasha nodded and Steve scrubbed his hand over his face as he sighed, "Well, shit."

"Exactly!" Natasha confirmed, sitting up. Poking Steve's side, she said, "Let's go do something!"

Steve scoffed, "What are we going to do?"

Natasha shrugged, "I'm sure we'll think of something."

Giving her a look, Steve sat up and questioned, "Why does it feel like I'm babysitting you?"

"Because you're the responsible one," Natasha flashed a shit-eating grin while moving to sit on her feet.

Rolling his eyes, Steve climbed off the bed. Stretching his arms up above his head, Steve muttered, "For once, I'd like to not be."

"Oh, please," Natasha scoffed, "You love it."

Steve rolled his eyes again, but he didn't argue. Natasha, like always, was right. Steve did love it. He loved being the one that she turned to. He loved that, even though Natasha was the leader and the one often in charge, she still knew that Steve was the responsible one. For the most part, at least.

Returning to the room with his toothbrush, Steve suggested, "What if hang out with the goats?"

Natasha's brows furrowed. In fact, her whole face furrowed as she claimed, "See, this is why I always come up with the ideas."

<https://www.wattpad.com/769720559-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	27. Twenty-Seven

**Twenty-Seven:**

With the pair being on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, Steve and Natasha decided to make the most of it. Sitting outside with the goats, Steve on the deck with his feet on the step and Natasha on the grass in front of him. Natasha smoking a cigarette while painting Steve's toenails and Steve sketching the goats.

"Ya know, Stevie," Natasha blew the puff of smoke out the corner of her mouth. Examining her work, she purposely tickled Steve's foot and complimented, "You'd be able to make a decent living off selling pics of your feet."

"Thanks?" Steve questioned, chuckling. Nearly kicking Natasha in the face as she lightly ran her finger along the bottom of Steve's foot. Steve laughed, "Stop! I'm trying to be productive!"

Even though Natasha's sunglasses were dark and shielded her eyes, Steve could feel that she was rolling her eyes. Taking another drag from her cigarette, she moved on to paint the rest of Steve's toenails. These were some of Steve's favorite moments. Calm, easy days where they could just _be_.

"You're not painting ashes onto my toes, right?" Steve teased, lifting his sketchbook to smirk down at Natasha as she sat on the grass with Steve's foot in her lap and cigarette between her plump maroon lips.

"You're so funny," Natasha deadpanned, purposely exhaling a puff of smoke onto Steve's foot.

The crooked grin stayed on Steve's face and took a good look of his feet. Looking at the bottle, Steve would've never assumed that the jungle green shade would've worked with his pale skin tone. Looking at it on his feet, however, he couldn't help but think that it was a good choice.

Curiously, Steve asked, "What's this one called?"

"Um," Natasha started, stubbing out the cigarette on the ground beside her, and picked up the bottle. Looking at the label at the bottom, Natasha's tongue poked out the side of her mouth before she stated, "'I'm On a Sushi Roll.'"

"Hmm," Steve hummed and moved his sketchbook back to its previous position. Pushing his sunglasses up his nose, Steve turned to look at Goat Steve.

Smiling at the way that Goat Steve was jovially jumping around on the specifically built goat jungle gym. Adding more details. The grass that stuck to his hoofs. The way his golden fur was ruffled. The way Goat Steve just seemed so happy. It almost eased the knot in his gut from missing out on being at home with Nana Fury's pregnant cat. Almost. Sure, Steve knew that the cat -- and kittens -- would still be there when Steve got back, but he still was missing out on --

"Wow," a deep voice mused from behind Steve, startling the blond and causing his dominant left hand to harshly jerk the pencil along the paper, effectively ruining the sketch.

Also startling Natasha and causing her hand to jerk and her painting Steve's toe, not just the nail. Her face puckering angrily as she grumped, "What the fuck, Buck?!"

Steve turned, looking behind himself to find Bucky. Bucky was looking down at the sketch in Steve's lap and Steve could see that Bucky was on the brink of another apology. Not wanting another one though, Steve quickly changed the subject by asking, "What are you doing here?"

Bucky's brows arched as though he hadn't expected that. Steve's cheeks started to heat then and he averted his gaze bashfully as he amended, "I mean, everyone else was going swimming."

"Oh," Bucky confirmed. Steve peeked a glance up at him and was relieved to find no ill-will. Bucky gestured back towards the house and clarified, "I was busy getting a jump on some class reading."

"You know it's summer, right?" Natasha scoffed, wiping away her mistake, but leaving behind dyed skin. Looking up at her cousin, she joked, "You're supposed to be having fun. If you even know how to do that."

Steve pressed his lips together to keep himself from laughing. Turning his gaze back to his sketchbook, he flipped his pencil around and carefully started to erase the dark, accidental mark. Attempting to not erase anything that was intentional, but not necessarily succeeding.

"Hey," Bucky chuckled and defended himself, "Learning is fun!"

Natasha pulled her sunglasses down and gave her cousin a pointed look. Catching Steve's gaze, they exchanged a look before pushing her glasses back up on the bridge of her nose. A smirk stayed on her face as she finished up painting Steve's toes.

Once done, Natasha slumped. She had already painted all of her nails but still wanted to keep going. Surprisingly enough, it was one of the few things that kept Natasha occupied. Which was typically a difficult task to succeed with.

Then, a thought popped into her head and she perked. Moving over to sit on the ground to Steve's right, she flashed a large toothy grin up at Bucky and offered, "Hey, ya busy?"

"What do you have in mind?" Bucky asked, moving closer to the steps.

Natasha held up a base coat bottle and wiggled it a little while cheekily suggesting, "Have you ever had a pedicure?"

"Um," Bucky started. Steve turned to look up at the handsome brunet to watch him internally debate. Bucky's eyes drifted over to Steve, causing Steve to immediately direct his attention back to his sketchbook.

After a moment, Bucky sat down on the deck beside Steve, placing his bare feet on the step, just like Steve. Which pleasantly surprised Steve. Steve didn't know a lot of guys who were comfortable getting pampered in such a, "feminine," way. Typically the guys that Steve knew would have scoffed. They also would've given Steve a difficult time. But when didn't Steve have a difficult time?

Bucky was looking down at the bottles that Natasha had beside her. The jungle green one that she painted Steve's nails with and the vibrant, shimmery magenta that Natasha used on her own nails. Examining their nails, Bucky asked, "What other colors do you have?"

<https://www.wattpad.com/770058509-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	28. Twenty-Eight

**Twenty-Eight:**

While Natasha was inside, getting the other nail polishes that she brought with her, Steve could feel Bucky watching him. Carefully, Steve focused on the picture in his lap rather than the boy beside him. Praying that he didn't appear too stiff beside him, but realizing that forced nonchalance sometimes seemed just as strange as consciousness. Especially when someone was studying him.

After a moment that seemed to last a lifetime, Bucky gruffly complimented, "You're really talented."

Steve glanced over at Bucky. The sincerity causing a flush to start creeping across Steve's freckled cheeks while also causing a deep confusion that twisted in Steve's gut. After all, Bucky had barely looked at Steve, let alone talked to him. Unless he was apologizing. But Steve had decided that he had heard enough of those from Bucky to tide him over for the rest of their shared summer.

"Thanks," Steve finally said, clearing his throat and returning his gaze to his sketch.

"I mean it," Bucky earnestly encouraged.

"Okay," Steve nodded, keeping his head ducked while peeking over at Bucky from the corner of his eyes. Steve confirmed, "I mean it, too. Thank you."

Bucky was quiet then. Steve noticed the small movement at Bucky's mouth, as though Bucky was chewing on the inside of his lower lip. His hand holding the pencil going still as he wondered what it would feel like. Would it be rough? Distracting? Would Steve be able to feel it when they kissed?

Steve's eyes momentarily widened as he gazed unseeingly down at his sketchbook. Knowing that he really shouldn't have been thinking about kissing Bucky. Knowing that he needed to keep a level head. A level head and a cautious heart.

"So, um," Bucky started, shifting in his seat. Briefly, Steve was terrified of what Bucky was trying to figure out what to say. Typically when someone fumbled for their words in such a way, it was usually bad. Then, Bucky asked, "How long have you been drawing?"

A bit confused by such a mundane question, Steve's brows furrowed as he looked over at Bucky. Bucky hadn't been expecting the expression and he immediately turned his attention from Steve and his sketchbook and fumbling over his words as he started back peddling, "I mean, it seems like you've been drawing for a while. You're really talented and it seems like you've --"

"Right, I heard you," Steve interrupted, causing Bucky's brows to arch high on his forehead. Steve closed his eyes and internally scolded himself for being rude. Opening his eyes, Steve softly answered, "I, uh, I've been drawing for… as long as I can remember."

"Really?" Bucky asked, intrigued. Mutely, Steve nodded and Bucky nodded too. Complimenting Steve again, Bucky cleared his throat, "That's really cool. It's a cool talent to have."

"Thanks," Steve accepted, feeling the tips of his ears heating.

A slow smile stretched across Bucky's face as his words stumbled, "Yeah. Sure. No problem. It's the truth. You're really talented."

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Steve knew that he should've looked away, but he couldn't. The sincerity twinkling in Bucky's platinum eyes wrapped around Steve's heart like a vice, making it nearly impossible to move. Making it nearly impossible to even breath. Especially when Bucky didn't make any move to look elsewhere.

"Okay!" Natasha abruptly stated, joining them outside again. Bucky looked behind them to watch his cousin while Steve took in a shaky breath, still completely taken by Bucky.

"I've got a lot of different ones," Natasha informed Bucky. As though not realizing that she had interrupted a moment, Natasha carried her sequined bag and jingled it so the polish bottles tapped along each other. Skipping down the deck step, and plopping down on the grass in front of him, she continued, "There are more darker colors though. You've been warned."

When Bucky turned to face the front, his gaze landed on Steve. Steve instantly dropped his eyes to his sketchbook, but had still caught the blush that was starting to color Bucky's cheeks.

"Oh, um," Bucky cleared his throat, taking the bag from Natasha when she handed it to him, "Thanks."

"Sure thing," Natasha shrugged, taking the base coat from where she left it and picked it up. Giving it a good shake, she examined Bucky's feet and mused, "Anyone ever tell ya you've got nice toenails?"

"Um," Bucky's brows furrowed as he looked up from the bag. Shaking his head, he chuckled, "No?"

"Shame," Natasha deadpanned, twisting the cap and getting started. Swiping the clear base coat on Bucky's big toe's nail, Natasha complimented, "Because you do."

Steve peeked over at Bucky and fought the smirk that wanted to tug at his lips from seeing a blush start to bloom on his cheeks. Bucky sputtered out a quiet, "Thanks?"

"No problem," Natasha nonchalantly replied, moving onto another toe. Wiping some of the excess with the side of her thumb, Natasha asked, "You pick a color yet?"

"Um, yeah," Bucky confirmed, taking a bottle of polish out of the bag. Passing it over to Natasha before placing the bag on his other side.

"Huh," Natasha stated, examining the bottle of lilac polish.

Tensing beside Steve, Bucky cautiously asked, "What?"

"I thought I threw this out," Natasha mused, her brows furrowing before she shrugged and placed the bottle beside her to be used once the base coat was done.

Steve smirked and rolled his eyes before complimenting, "Good choice. 'Do You Lilac It,' is most definitely underrated."

Next to him, Bucky eased. A grin was playing at Bucky's naturally red lips. Steve's own lips were quirked up and he didn't try to fight it. Instead, simply redirecting his attention to his sketch. Slowly getting it to work the way he wanted it to, despite the dark mark that ran along the page. Even after erasing it, the line was still there, a part of the page.

Steve tried not to read too much into it.

<https://www.wattpad.com/770926400-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	29. Twenty-Nine

**Twenty-Nine:**

"Is it always this hot?" Natasha complained, wiping the sweat from her forehead and effectively causing her choppy bangs to stick straight up. Not that she minded as she started painting the top coat on Bucky's toenails.

"Well, it _is_ summer," Bucky chuckled, laying on his back on the deck with one arm behind his head and the other resting easily on his stomach. His brown locks attractively mussed despite the strands that were sticking to the back of his neck due to his sweat.

"It _is_ summer," Natasha mocked, playfully pinching Bucky's ankle.

"Hey," Bucky complained with a chuckle, lifting his head from his arm and looked down at her. Natasha childishly stuck her tongue out at him and wiped at the sweat on her forehead again while Bucky pushed the slipping sunglasses back up his nose. As Bucky returned his head to his arm, he turned to look over at Steve and asked, "She always like this?"

Steve smirked and ducked his head as he laid on his stomach, working on a new sketch. Casually kicking his legs, trying to focus on that movement rather than on the way his heart stuttered from Bucky opening up just a little bit more. As they got to know each other just a little more. Steve knew that if Bucky hadn't been so observant, and wasn't watching him sketch, he'd sketch Bucky in that moment. Bucky was too pretty not to.

And although Steve wanted to do nothing more than to fill up his sketchbook with Bucky, he refrained. Instead, he drew the backyard and the overfilling flower boxes that held such beautiful plants that they could almost be considered as beautiful as the boy in front of him. Almost.

Lightly sketching, Steve looked up and noticed that Bucky watching him. Steve's heart stuttered and he tried not to seem too obvious as he purposely looked further past Bucky to the plants again. Fully aware that Bucky was watching him. Even though Bucky was wearing sunglasses that hid his eyes, his face was turned towards Steve and Steve could feel those ice blue eyes on him.

"This what you do? For fun?" Bucky asked.

"Do what?" Steve and Natasha simultaneously questioned.

Bucky smirked, raising to lean on his elbow as he looked between the pair. Reclining back again, Bucky chuckled, "I'll just take that as a yes."

Steve and Natasha exchanged a look before both ducking their heads and getting back to their separate projects. Glancing up, Steve realized that Bucky was still facing him and a chill shot down Steve's spine. A slow smile stretched at Bucky's lips as he rolled his head to face the sky again. Steve's eyes stayed on Bucky and he spotted that his eyes were closed, making Steve feel like a complete dumbass.

"For real though," Natasha started. Practically whining as she complained, "How do you even survive here?"

Casually, Bucky shrugged his left shoulder as he chuckled, "It's summer."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Natasha scoffed, pinching Bucky's ankle again.

"She always like this?" Bucky repeated, rolling his head to look at Steve again.

Trying to fight his grin, Steve teased, "I'm pretty sure that you already have that answer."

"Yeah," Bucky dramatically sighed, "I guess you're right."

"He usually is," Natasha informed Bucky, causing Steve to roll his eyes.

"Yeah?" Bucky asked, intrigued, still looking at Steve.

Steve blushed and argued, "No."

Even though Natasha loudly answered, "Yup," making sure to smack her lips at the end for emphasis. Steve's ears were red -- he knew it -- and he shook his head in silent protest while Natasha bragged, "Stevie's a genius sprinkled with some clairvoyance."

At Natasha's words, Steve shook his head and dropped his head on his arm over his sketchbook. Knowing that he was blushing more than he wanted to be. Probably blushing down his neck too. Maybe even the bottoms of his feet.

"And he's modest," Natasha added, fanning air onto Bucky's toes to dry the polish faster.

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, confirming, "I gathered that much."

"Yeah?" Natasha questioned as Steve peeked up at Bucky. Bucky was back to facing the sky, but his left hand was no longer resting on his stomach. Instead his arm was extended, resting in front of Steve's sketchbook. Almost touching the sketchbook. Steve knew that all Bucky had to do was stretch his fingers out and he'd be able to touch the pages.

"Yup," Bucky confirmed and Steve watched as a smirk tugged at the corner of Bucky's lips. That simple gesture causing Steve to feel all cozy and warm, but not as much as when Bucky teased, "And a talker too."

"Right?" Natasha giggled, not being in on the joke, but still playing along as she feigned annoyance, "I can never get him to shut up."

Bucky softly chuckled and advised, "Cereal and coffee works pretty well."

Pressing his lips together, Steve failed at keeping his smile in check. Looking over at Natasha, he noticed how her brows were furrowed. It was obvious that she was about to ask, but Steve simply shook his head. Natasha studied him for a moment before deciding against it and turning her attention back to Bucky's feet.

<https://www.wattpad.com/771756914-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	30. Thirty

**Thirty:**

By the time that Monday rolled around, Steve debated inviting himself to the monster movie double feature. Sure, him and Bucky had been getting along fairly well. But Sarah had raised Steve to be polite and to never invite himself, ever. And since Bucky hadn't invited him…

The thing was though, it was Monday. And Mondays were when Steve took his T. So, he climbed out of bed. Still cautious in not waking Natasha, even though Steve knew that she could probably sleep through a tornado. Steve still slid out from under the comforter and tiptoed over to the bathroom.

Going through the steps on autopilot as his half-asleep brain prepared for the injection and did the injection. His thigh was sore and Steve internally debated whether he should stay awake. After all, he could always go back to bed. It was summer. It was a little over five in the morning. It wouldn't be completely unheard of if Steve had just climbed back into bed.

But it was Monday. It was Monday and there was a double feature of classics.

Deciding that he could simply stay in the kitchen if Bucky didn't want him hanging around, Steve grabbed the novel that he should've had finished by now, and quietly left the bedroom. Standing in the hallway, he found Bucky already on the couch with his bowl of cereal in his hand and two coffee mugs on the table in front of him.

A wave of appreciation shot through him as he sat his novel on the shelf with the vases and walked around the dividing wall to the living room. Not only had Bucky made him coffee, he had also paused the TV. Steve's throat was dry and tight, and his chest clenched at the gesture.

"Morning?" Bucky softly greeted, looking up at Steve with an apprehensive smile and quirk of his brow.

Bucky was wearing his dark frame glasses and Steve couldn't help but swoon as he replied, "Morning." Running his hand through his hair, Steve glanced at the TV, reminded that Bucky had it paused _for him_, Steve hurried to the kitchen and said, "Just gimme a minute."

"Take your time," Bucky said around a mouthful of cereal. Steve decided on Fruit Loops and as he quickly poured some into the mint green ceramic bowl with tiny pink flowers and gold interior that Bucky left out for him, Bucky reassured, "Don't rush on my account."

Of course, Steve didn't pay him any attention as he quickly crossed the kitchen to the fridge to pour the milk in with the cereal. Walking fast while attempting to still seem nonchalant, Steve left the kitchen and walked around the sofa to take a seat on the middle cushion, just like last week. And just like last week, Bucky shifted, giving Steve space and teasingly quirked a brow down at Steve when he tried to get comfortable.

Steve bit his lower lip and confirmed, "I'm good now."

Bucky had the remote in hand and looked over at Steve, silently checking if it was okay to start the movie. Around a mouthful of Fruit Loops, Steve wiped his chin with the back of his hand and eagerly nodded for Bucky to continue. Nodding himself, Bucky played the movie and set the remote down on the arm of the couch.

Turning his attention to the TV, Steve caught sight of Bucky's own bowl. Realizing that they were both eating Fruit Loops. Steve smiled down at his own bowl, biting at his lower lip to keep the grin from growing too wide.

Of course, as soon as the blood curdling scream came from the movie, Steve's eyes immediately turned upward and waited for something to come onto the black screen. Instead, there was just screaming. Bucky instantly lowered the volume and gave Steve an apologetic look.

As more noises came, Steve's interest was officially peeked. Sinister laughing. Creaking doors. Rattling of chains. Even ghostly moaning. Then, a man's head floated onto the screen. A distressed gentleman who simply started, "The ghosts are moving tonight. Restless, hungry. May I introduce myself?"

Steve's brows arched high on his forehead and softly mused, "Now that's one hell of a way to start a movie."

Quietly, Bucky agreed, "That's why it's a classic."

"Oh, is it?" Steve conversationally questioned. Silently, Bucky nodded his confirmation and Steve as each character was introduced by an ominous man with slicked hair and a sharp mustache. Steve leaned over and asked, "What's up with that guy?"

"What guy?" Bucky replied just as softly as Steve had spoken.

"The spooky dude," Steve clarified. With his gaze still on the TV, Steve caught Bucky moving in his periphery and glanced up at him. There was an incredulous look on the brunet's face and Steve scoffed, "What?"

"You don't know who Vincent Price is?" Bucky turned to face Steve as he continued, "Is that what you're telling me?"

Steve's brows arched and he chuckled, "Sure."

"I --" Bucky cut himself off, trying to make sense of it and he immediately paused the movie. Setting his cereal on the coffee table in front of them, Bucky brought his leg up and shifted in his spot, so he was fully facing Steve. Blinking away his incredulousness, Bucky clearly stated, "Vincent Price is the king of horror. A legend. Basically, if you went to see a movie with him in it, you knew that it would be good."

"Okay," Steve nodded, trying not to laugh. "Got it, Price is a king --"

"No, no," Bucky corrected, "The king. The."

"The king," Steve repeated with a small chuckle. Glancing up at the TV, Steve asked, "So, if this is a ghost story, why's it being played on Monster Monday?"

"Because it's a ghost," Bucky answered with furrowed brows as he studied Steve.

"Yeah, but," Steve rolled his eyes and repeated, "Why's it being played on Monster Monday?"

Silently, Bucky continued studying Steve. Cocking his head to the side, Bucky asked, "What do you consider a ghost?"

As Steve thought, his brows furrowed. What did Steve consider a ghost? A spirit, obviously. But what category did that fall into? Were ghosts monsters? Were they the same? Ghosts weren't what Steve thought of when he thought of monsters. When Steve thought of monsters, he thought of mummies and swamp things, not dead people.

With Bucky still watching him, Steve ignored the small grin on Bucky's face and finally shrugged, "'Dunno. Never thought about it before."

Nodding, Bucky glanced down at his own lap before shifting again in his seat and grabbing his forgotten bowl of cereal. He reached for the remote and said, "Let's just say it's station's liberty. Best to just enjoy the movies than question why they're showing 'em."

Steve just fondly watched him for a moment, wanting to remember this. Remember the quiet boy who loved movies and ate soggy cereal. Remember the way that just a glance from those pretty blues could knot up Steve's stomach somethin' fierce. Remember the easy grin that slowly tugged at his lips when he caught Steve watching him. Remember the way that Steve didn't even mind being caught.

<https://www.wattpad.com/772550880-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	31. Thirty-One

**Thirty-One:**

As a string of knocks came from the guestroom door, Steve's reading was interrupted. Putting his bookmark in the novel, Steve watched as Natasha rolled off the bed and went to get the door. More knocks came and annoyed, Natasha said, "I'm coming. Chill out, will ya?"

Crossing his legs on the bed, Steve watched as Natasha opened the door to reveal Sam. Cheerfully, Sam slapped his hands rhythmically along the doorframe as he proposed, "We're gonna go swimming, ya wanna join?"

Just like always, Natasha glanced over her shoulder at Steve. Silently proposing the idea to him with a quirk of her perfectly shaped brow. And, just like always, Natasha figured that she knew Steve's answer. She knew Steve and she knew that Steve hated going swimming. So, she turned back to face Sam and answered indifferently, "Maybe next time."

But Natasha wasn't the only one who knew their best friend. Steve knew Natasha. He knew that even though she hated going swimming just as much as he did, but for completely different reasons. Namely, Natasha was terrified of contracting a flesh eating virus from the water. Or the bacteria that turned one's brain to mush.

Steve could tell that despite Natasha being fearful of unknown water, he knew that she wanted to go. It was summer. It was Arkansas. It was hot. And Natasha wanted to go. So, Steve decided to accept his offer.

"Actually," Steve started, causing Sam to pause from heading back down the hallway. Natasha turned to Steve with her brows arched high on her forehead, hidden by her gray bangs while Steve told them, "Just… gimme a minute."

"Okay, cool," Sam eagerly agreed. With a large grin splitting across his face, he slapped the doorframe and stepped back, "Meet ya outside!"

Nodding, Steve stood from the bed and headed over to the dresser. Natasha closed the door and stood there, crossing her arms, watching Steve. Steve purposely tried not to look at her. Instead, he focused on keeping his hands from shaking as he removed the breathable half-tank binder. He also tried not to think about how when he bought it, it was mistaken for a sports bra.

Grasping the light gray material in his hand, he grabbed a pair of swim trunks and a plain tee before closing the drawer. Natasha stepped in his path on his way to the bathroom, causing Steve to finally have to look up at her.

"You sure you want to do this?" Natasha asked, her cautious gaze trained solely on Steve.

Steve took in a deep breath and held his shoulders as confidently as he could muster as he confirmed, "Yup."

Facing off with Natasha, Steve still attempted to see past her poker face. Even after all their years of being friends, Natasha still had the best poker face that Steve had ever witnessed. And although he knew his best friend like the back of his hand, that damn expression could beat even the best card player.

"You, uh," Steve started, gesturing towards the bathroom, "Gonna get changed."

Natasha turned towards the dresser and started digging through the drawers designated for her clothing, and Steve happily headed around her towards the bathroom. As Steve went to close the door, Natasha teasingly warned, "I didn't pack any _family friendly_ swim wear."

"Darling, you've never been family friendly in any aspect of your life," Steve chuckled, closing the door behind himself.

Quickly, changing, Steve swapped his regular binder for the approved swim one and made sure that he could move comfortably around in it. Then, he pulled on the plain, gray t-shirt that matched the gray stripes on his swim baby blue swim trunks. Trying his damndest to ignore his dysphoria for not having the sex organ that most associated with being male. Taking a moment to just deeply breathe before stepping out, where he found Natasha slipping a black short chiffon kaftan over her faux leather triangle bralette and matching briefs.

"I don't know, Nat," Steve teased, "Seems pretty family friendly to me."

Natasha rolled her eyes, threw some items into a drawstring bag and left the room. Booping Steve's nose on the way. Of course, that only caused Steve to roll his own eyes as he followed her down the hallway towards the foyer as they both slipped on their shoes.

With her hand on the doorknob, Natasha glanced over shoulder at Steve and worried her lower lip with her teeth, "What about the bacteria?"

"Well," Steve blew out a puff of air and shrugged, "Hopefully, we'll have a good story to tell while we're quarantined."

Natasha narrowed her eyes and menacingly pushed her sunglasses onto her face, still being cautious of her piercing that almost looked professionally done. Then, she threw open the door in her dramatic fashion, causing everyone to pause and immediately look over at them.

All eyes on him, his cheeks flushed and Steve dropped his gaze to his feet as he started walking across the porch. About to take a step down the steps, Natasha harshly grabbed his arm and tugged him back. With furrowed brows, he glanced up at Natasha, silently questioning her.

"Stevie, am I having a heat stroke, or do you see _her_ too?" Natasha whispered, keeping her mouth mainly still. A talent that had always creeped Steve out.

Steve glanced over at where all the cousins were loading up Brock's green Bronco, and Steve's gaze instantly landed on Bucky's lanky frame. Almost as though he was magnetically drawn to Bucky without even having to search for him. Which was both terrifying and comforting.

But Steve was supposed to be looking at someone else…

Shifting his gaze, Steve looked over the familiar faces until it landed on someone new. A blonde with a dazzling smile was laughing at something that Sam said, her head thrown back as she did so. Steve couldn't help the smile that tugged at his own lips, and he didn't try to fight it.

"God, she's --" Natasha wistfully sighed "-- an angel."

A startled gasp of a chuckle escaped Steve and he turned to look at Natasha again. Tilting his sunglasses down the slope of his nose, he studied Natasha and asked, "You alright, there?"

Natasha kept her gaze locked on the new girl and she smiled, genuinely, as she teased herself, "Satan, help me. I think I might be in love."

"Might want to learn her name first," Steve chuckled, fixing his sunglasses back on his face.

Taking a step down, Natasha kept her grasp on Steve's slender bicep and softly questioned, "What? Ya never heard of love at first sight?"

Bashfully, Steve glanced over at Bucky and admitted, "Of course, I have."

<https://www.wattpad.com/773091801-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	32. Thirty-Two

**Thirty-Two:**

"Well, well, well," Brock stated, crossing his muscular arms and standing intimidatingly in front of his Bronco. Arrogantly, he teased Natasha, "Sweetie, I was sure that you'd burst in the sunlight."

"I use a high SPF, _sweetie_," Natasha snidely replied, keeping a smug smirk on her face.

Steve could feel the tension building in the air, so he quickly cut in, "Is there anything I can help with?"

"Nah," Brock declined Steve's offer. And if he had left it there, it would've been fine. But, of course, he didn't.

"Just stand there lookin' pretty," Brock directed to Steve, winking at him.

A bitterness seeped into Steve's mood and it was so sour that it could've been mistaken for bile. Instead of responding -- or vomiting -- Steve simply spotted Becca loading a large cooler into the back of the Bronco and promptly offered his assistance. Fairly certain that Becca could handle it herself, but using it as an excuse to get away from Brock.

"Thanks, but I got it," Becca grinned and pushed the cooler the rest of the way. She glanced over Steve and suggested, "Might want to put on some sunblock though."

Nodding, Steve still kept an eye and an ear on Natasha and Brock, an unfamiliar voice declared, "Brock, honey, don't be weird."

Intrigued, Steve looked over to find Natasha's imagined love interest leaning in to kiss Brock's cheek. Shocked, Steve immediately dropped his gaze from the affectionate way that the blonde was staring up at the cocky brunet. Steve couldn't imagine what was going through Natasha's head. Luckily for Steve though, he didn't have to imagine it.

"That pompous jackass has the nerve to make disgusting and vaguely threatening comments to us while dating that angel?!" Natasha sneered under her breath as she leaned in close to Steve.

Never being very good with comforting people in general, Steve lifted his arm and awkwardly patted Natasha's back. The best he could do was give her an apologetic look, so that was exactly what he did. And although Steve wasn't very good at being the nurturing soul that he had grown up trying to be, Natasha's shoulders did relax from the tight, tense way that she had been holding them.

"It's just not fair," Natasha pouted, dramatically pushing her plump lower lip out.

Steve looked around her to Brock and the blonde and offered, "Maybe they're just friends."

"Who's that close with their friend?" Natasha defeatedly questioned.

Shrugging, Steve honestly answered, "Us."

Natasha pulled her dark shades down her nose to narrow her eyes at Steve, but Steve kept up his neutral expression. He meant it. She knew it. The corner of her lips quirked up and she pushed the sunglasses back up her nose to their rightful place. Playfully elbowing Steve, Natasha teasingly prayed, "Let's hope that they're like us in more ways than one. Namely, that she's into chicks."

"Speak it into existence, so shall it be," Steve answered exactly the way that Sarah would've if she was there. Which reminded Steve: _gotta call mom_.

Natasha took in a grounding breath, nodding and took Steve's hand in hers as she repeated, "Speak it into existence, so shall it be."

Quickly, Natasha leaned in and pressed a dramatic kiss to Steve's cheek. Mockingly, Steve feigned disgust and theatrically wiped at his cheek with the heel of his hand. Natasha cackled at his antics and Bucky chose that moment to walk around to the back of the Bronco with a tube of sunblock in his hand and a quirked brow.

Noticing that Steve was wiping at his face, Bucky's brows furrowed and he asked, "Did you already get sunblock from Sharon?"

"No," Natasha stated as her giggles were renewed by the blush that was starting across Steve's face while Steve asked, "Sharon?"

"Brock's girlfriend," Bucky answered.

"Fuck," Natasha muttered as she took a seat on the dropped tailgate.

Bucky's brows arched high on his forehead, "What?"

"Nothing," Natasha grumbled, kicking her feet and taking out a cigarette. Balancing it between her lips and instantly lighting it, "Just my luck."

"Are you -- Am I," Bucky glanced between the pair, "Missing… something?"

"It's nothing," Steve immediately stated, covering for Natasha being practically programmed into his DNA by now.

And while Natasha silently nodded her confirmation while blowing a huff of smoke out the corner of her lips, Bucky didn't seem all that convinced. For a moment, Bucky just stood there looking at Steve. Under his suspicious gaze, Steve averted his glance and crossed his arms along his chest. Trying his best to seem nonchalant, but realizing that Bucky would be able to see right through him.

Out of his periphery, Steve watched as Bucky shook his head. Sure that Bucky was going to press the issue. Instead, Bucky simply held out the tube of sunblock, "Here."

"Thanks," Steve accepted, trying not to thrill at the fact that Bucky's fingers innocently blushed along his as the tube was transferred to his own grasp.

"'Course," Bucky easily grinned. Almost as though he was just remembering Natasha, Bucky ducked his head and bashfully grinned at Steve again before shoving his hands in his pockets and heading over to Tibby.

<https://www.wattpad.com/773494900-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	33. Thirty-Three

**Thirty-Three:**

"Uh," Natasha arched her brows. Using the hand holding the cigarette, she gestured over to where Bucky had been walking and questioned, "'The fuck is going on between you two?"

"Noth --"

"Steven Grant," Natasha interrupted, "Are you seriously going to sit there --"

"I'm standing --"

"And lie to my face?" Natasha continued, almost as though Steve hadn't interrupted at all. Taking another drag off her cigarette, Natasha said, "Ya know, I think you'd be cute together."

Steve harshly bit his bottom lip and kept his gaze down as he attempted to fold into himself. Really, to try to simply disappear. Steve didn't mind talking about boys with Natasha. But he did, very much, mind talking about boys when they were surrounded by those who were close to that boy, not to mention that the boy himself was in close proximity.

"Oh my gosh!" Natasha enthusiastically started. Nearly falling off the tailgate as she grasped onto Steve's arm to pull him in and happily, excitedly squeal, "If you got married --"

Steve felt the skin prickle at his neck. Almost as though everyone was looking at him now. He crowded closer to Natasha and attempted to discreetly shush her. But Natasha was completely in her own little world as she continued, "We would actually be related! Holy fuck, Stevie, this needs to --"

"Shh --"

"-- Happen!" Natasha hopped off the tailgate and stumbled into Steve, nearly knocking him over. Luckily, Natasha had a strong grip on Steve's frame and she was very close to actually jumping for joy.

And although Steve wanted nothing more than for his best friend to be giddy, he also knew that he needed to stop her before she got too ahead of herself. After all, Steve wasn't even sure if Bucky had feelings for him. Really though, Steve didn't want to get his own hopes up.

"Nat--" Steve quietly started. When that didn't do anything, he increased his volume, "Natash--"

"Stevie, this would almost be as good as being adopted by your --"

"Natasha!" Steve demanded, instantly causing her to finally pause.

While also gaining the attention of Brock who now joined them at the back of the Bronco. Brock quirked a brow, intrigued. As a slow smirk tugged at his lips, Steve aggressively kept his mouth closed, lips and jaw clenched tight. Practically trying to grind his own teeth to a pulp when Brock teased Steve, "Damn Stevie, tell her who's in charge."

"Please," Natasha scoffed and although her sunglasses hid her eyes, Steve could tell that she was rolling her eyes. Dropping her hands from Steve's arms, Natasha aggressively poked Brock's chest as she coolly reminded, "And I told you, no one calls him, 'Stevie,' but me."

Brock smirked and took Natasha's hand as her finger pressed into his muscular chest. Leaning in, Brock suggestively mocked, "You're cute when you're angry."

Meeting his challenge by standing on her toes, Natasha evenly stated, "Trust me, you wouldn't think that if you saw me actually angry."

A little shocked, Brock just stood there. Natasha yanked her hand away from Brock. For a moment, Steve was sure that Natasha was going to slap Brock. He held his breath for a moment as he mentally prepared himself. Even though Steve wasn't the one who was about to get slapped, he could still feel the secondhand sting that was sure to happen. Constantly thankful that he had never crossed Natasha in his life.

However, instead of slapping Brock, Natasha grabbed Steve's hand. Leading Steve around to the passenger side of the Bronco and away from Brock. As they moved, Steve could feel someone watching him and glanced over his shoulder to find Brock's gaze sizing him up. Snapping his head forward again, Steve directed his own gaze to Natasha's strong shoulders. Trying to focus on her confidence as he repressed the shudder that wanted to ripple down his spine.

Once they reached the open door, Natasha turned to face Steve. Her expression keeping the same blank, coolness to it, until she saw something in Steve's own expression. Her brows instantly furrowed and she leaned in close to ask, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Steve quickly answered.

"Don't lie," Natasha replied, squeezing Steve's hand.

"I'm okay," Steve reassured and lowered his voice as he half-teased, "I was sure that you were going to slap him."

"Bruh, you have no idea just how close I was to doing just that," Natasha agreed, giggling.

Steve chuckled then too, giving her hand a tender squeeze before dropping it. Steve glanced inside of the vehicle. Noting that the empty pop bottles had been cleared out entirely and a back bench seat was now there when it hadn't been when Bucky picked them up.

"Okay!" Sam boomed, clapping his hands, "Let's get this show on the road!"

<https://www.wattpad.com/774259286-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	34. Thirty-Four

**Thirty-Four:**

Steve glanced around for another vehicle, but didn't find one. Feeling a bit queasy, Steve mentally counted everyone there. No way were they going to be able to shove everyone into that vehicle. Sure, it was decently large, but some would likely have to sit on each other's laps. And with Steve being the second smallest person there…

With his heart instantly starting to race, Steve nervously moved away from the Bronco. Wondering if he had made the right choice. After all, if he stayed back, there would be more space in the vehicle. He could just go back inside and stay in the air conditioning and find other things to do. Natasha didn't need to stay with him. Natasha should go swimming if she wanted to go swimming and Steve could tell that she wanted to go swim--

Colliding with a body as he backed further away from the Bronco, Steve paused his steps. Suddenly standing as stiff as a board as he prayed that it wasn't Brock. _Please, please, pleasepleaseplease--_

"Sorry," came from behind him.

Instantly the tension eased from Steve's shoulders at just hearing the voice and recognizing it as Bucky's. Even if Steve hadn't spotted Brock on the other side of the Bronco, Steve was sure that he'd still feel relieved that it was Bucky.

Steve turned around and sheepishly smiled up at Bucky. Who was blushing. And made the butterflies flutter in Steve's stomach at how cute Bucky was, even when -- no. _Especially_ when he blushed.

"Yo," Brock called out, hitting the top of the Bronco, "Ya comin'?"

Silently, Steve nodded and followed Natasha into the back. Natasha sat next to Sam and Steve squeezed in close to Natasha as Bucky finally climbed in. Bucky shifted and held close to the side of the vehicle, giving Steve more space.

Sharon smiled back at everyone as she pushed the lifted seat back into place. As Sharon lifted Tibby up, so she could take the middle seat up from, Natasha grabbed Steve's hand, giving it a squeeze. Steve didn't need to be a mind reader to know that Natasha was obviously melting at how affectionate and cute Sharon was being with the cutest Barnes member.

As Brock climbed in behind the steering wheel, he closed the door and the back door closed as well. Steve glanced back to find Mandy on one side of the cooler and Becca on the other. Both with their phones in hand and Steve smirked as he faced forward again.

Momentarily, Steve's gaze paused on Bucky. The way that Bucky seemed tense beside him. Almost as though he was attempting to restrain himself to the edge of the seat. As though he didn't want to make Steve uncomfortable.

Steve's heart stuttered and Steve moved over just a little closer to Natasha, so Bucky could relax a bit. Bucky watched as Steve shifted in his seat. Steve gave the seat and the new gap a pointed look, trying to get the point across that Bucky didn't have to be so rigid.

With a bashful grin, Bucky shifted in his seat. Seemingly grateful for the added space. Still a bit shy. Especially when his thigh pressed against Steve's, and Steve attempted to be as calm as he could be. Even if Steve's heart was racing at the contact.

Finally, the Bronco started moving. Heading down the curve of the driveway, Steve relaxed a little more into the seat. Trying to get ready for the inevitable long drive ahead of them as they rode silently down the driveway.

"Yo, we gonna have tunes or just listen to ourselves breathe?!" Becca complained from the very back of the Bronco.

"I mean, breathing can be very titillating," Brock loudly teased. At his joke, Sam leaned forward and hit the back of Brock's head. Chuckling, Brock complained, "Hey!"

"Hey, yourself," Sam retorted, shifting in his seat to give everyone more space.

"It's what you get," Sharon told Brock. As they paused at the end of the driveway, Sharon reached forward and turned on the radio.

A pop-rock song came on and Mandy grumbled from the back, "I guess it's better than nothing."

Steve smirked at that. Bucky shifted in his seat again, instantly gaining Steve's attention. Not that it was particularly difficult for Bucky to do. Steve still glanced over at Bucky though. Bucky noticed and an apology was on the tip of his tongue, Steve was sure.

"Is it, uh…" Bucky softly started, slightly surprising Steve that he wasn't apologizing. Without even realizing it, Steve found himself hanging on Bucky's every word as he continued, "Is it… okay, if I, uh…" Steve's brows furrowed and Bucky gestured to the back of the seat and bashfully rushed, "Putmyarm…?"

Briefly, Steve felt like asking Bucky why he was asking him until he realized that if Bucky placed his arm there, it would be directly behind him. It reminded Steve of the movies that he had seen. About how guys typically did a move like that to get cozy with a date. Steve's cheeks reddened and he averted his gaze as he nodded his consent.

For a moment, Bucky didn't move. Despite his ears being red, Steve looked up at Bucky. Once they were looking at each other, Bucky asked, "Ya sure?"

"Yeah," Steve confirmed and instantly regretted it when his voice cracked.

That slow, fond grin stretched across Bucky's face and he carefully placed his arm along the back of the seat. Making sure not to touch Steve as he did so. Steve wondered what would happen if he leaned his head back. Steve wondered why he cared.

<https://www.wattpad.com/775067082-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	35. Thirty-Five

**Thirty-Five:**

Driving down the mountain, Steve wondered if Brock was purposely driving like a jackass. When there was a bump, Steve would jostle and would inevitably fall into Bucky. It was around the fifth time when Steve first thought that Brock was intentionally hitting every bump in the road, but Steve didn't say anything. Especially since Bucky seemed peeved enough for both of them.

_Bump_. Steve fell into Bucky, despite attempting to stop himself by grabbing onto the back of the bench seat in front of him. Nothing worked though and Bucky complained, "Christ, who gave you a license?"

"Just trying to help ya out, buddy," Brock mockingly answered. Briefly smirking back at Bucky before facing forward and jerking the vehicle, causing Steve to fall into Bucky once again.

The force of the jerk being so strong that Natasha pressed into Steve's side and loudly sneered, "Stop being such a fucker!"

Tibby gasped from the front middle seat and turned her head to look back at Natasha, but couldn't see over the back of the bench seat. Steve gave Natasha the pointed look that he assumed Tibby wanted to give her though. Knowing that there were sensitive ears around and that Natasha should hold her tongue. For what it was worth though, Natasha did look sorry for letting the swear slip.

Harshly, Brock made a sharp turn, causing Steve to fall into Bucky while Brock laughed. The sound making Steve want to vomit at the natural bitterness in the tone. It sent an awful chill down his spine. Completely taking over all his thoughts. And when Steve tried to push himself away from Bucky, only to fall back into the brunet, Steve could feel tears building in his eyes.

Bucky removed his arm from the back of the seat and kindly helped Steve sit in his space. As he spoke, Bucky demanded, "Okay, seriously, knock it off."

Regaining her own balance, Natasha leaned forward and harshly smacked the back of Brock's head. Not hitting him only once, however. Swatting at Brock so much that Natasha nearly climbed over the seat to continue her barrage.

Driving down the small path, Brock fended himself and asked, "What the hell is that for?"

"For being an ass," Natasha informed, sitting back in her spot in a huff. She tucked her gray hair behind her ear and let out an annoyed sigh when the strands fell back into her face.

As she crossed her arms along her chest, it was clear that she was physically refraining herself. Steve could tell that she wasn't just annoyed. She was pissed. And Steve knew that when she was pissed, nothing good ever came from it. After all, when she retaliated against Ivan, she had chopped off nearly all her hair and dyed it gray. Not to mention the nose ring she did for Ivan being an ass to Steve.

Then though, Steve watched as Sharon reached over to slap the back of Brock's head as well. Steve instantly glanced over at his fuming best friend and watched as the corner of her lips quirked at the action.

"What is this, Hit Brock Day?" Brock commented glancing over at his girlfriend with furrowed brows.

Steve looked down as he pressed his lips together to keep himself from chuckling. It didn't sound like such a bad day, if Steve was being honest. In fact, it would be Steve's favorite holiday if it was real.

Abruptly, the vehicle jerked to a stop. Causing Steve to lurch forward at the sudden movement. Bucky's reflexes were quick though as he grasped onto Steve's bicep, to keep him from hitting the back of the bench seat in front of them. If Steve hadn't been so disoriented from the bumpy ride, he was sure that he'd be conflicted over the action. But in that moment, his heart was racing from the possibility that he'd almost bashed his face into the seat.

For a moment, Steve just sat there, trying to calm his breathing. Inhale. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven_. Hold. Exhale. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven_. Hold. Inhale. _One, two, three, four_…

Getting his wits back, Steve was aware that Natasha and Sam had climbed out of the Bronco through the driver side. Natasha stumbled and Sam joked, "See, told you that riding with you is disorienting."

"Or maybe she's just fallen for me," Brock teased while letting Natasha swat at him.

Steve was still in his seat and he watched as Natasha pushed away from Brock and snidely stated, "Not even in your dreams, you stupid, arrogant, son-of-a-bitch!"

…_five, six, seven_. Hold. Exhale. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven_. Hold.

"You okay?" Bucky quietly asked. Reminding Steve that Bucky was still there beside him.

With Bucky's hand still wrapped tenderly, protectively around Steve's bicep, on the portion that was covered by the sleeve of his gray shirt. Steve looked down at the large hand and it almost seemed like Bucky had forgotten that he was holding him too because he instantly dropped his hand from Steve's arm.

"Sorry," Bucky breathily apologized and bashfully looked away.

Then, Bucky climbed out of the Bronco and stood there by the open passenger door for a moment. Steve's heart fluttered when he realized -- hoped -- that Bucky was waiting for him.

Knowing that his face was fully red, Steve awkwardly climbed out of the Bronco. For a moment, Steve felt quite graceful as he had maneuvered himself successfully over the seat belt and out the open door. The feeling didn't last long though. As soon as his feet touched the ground, Steve stumbled and crashed directly into Bucky's wiry frame.

"It looks like Steve's fallen for you too, Buck!" Brock teased, loudly chuckling.

Bucky's hands were gripping Steve's biceps and Steve pushed himself away from Bucky's chest that he had fallen face first into. Thanks to Brock's mocking, Steve was aware that the back of his neck was most likely just as red as his face. Especially since Bucky kept his hands on Steve's arms, making sure that he wouldn't trip again.

"You okay?" Bucky softly asked. Silently, Steve nodded and Bucky carefully dropped his hands from Steve again. Steve expected Bucky to take a step back. When he didn't, Steve glanced up at him. Bucky's gaze dropped and he gestured in front of the Bronco as he suggested, "C'mon."

<https://www.wattpad.com/775180150-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	36. Thirty-Six

**Thirty-Six:**

Glancing in the direction that everyone was heading, Steve noted that they weren't at a lake like Steve assumed. They were at someone's house. Becca and Mandy were leading the way down the path, each holding a side of the large cooler. Sam was carrying Tibby on his back and both were loudly singing. Behind them on the path, was Brock who had his arm around Sharon's shoulders while she snuggled closer to her boyfriend. Steve could only imagine how Natasha felt as she followed.

Steve noticed the large log cabin house then and quietly questioned Bucky, "Are we allowed to be here?"

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his turquoise swim trunks. An easy grin was on his face as he started heading down the pathway. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Steve was following, Bucky bit his lip when he realized that Steve was following him, and clarified, "It's the Barton abode. Clint's probably already down at the hole."

Steve nodded, staring up at the large house as they continued down the foot path beside the house. Looking exactly like the Lincoln Log houses that Steve used to build with Joseph. As they continued on the downslope, the house's lower level was made of stone. Flower vines grew twisted along the support beams of the deck, and a longing twisted into Steve's gut. He needed to call his family.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Bucky softly said beside him.

Looking up, Steve found Bucky was leaning in close. A smirk tugged at Steve's lips when he spotted Bucky's own grin. Steve directed his attention in front of him and agreed, "It's really beautiful."

Bucky nodded and leaned back, away from Steve. The pair following far behind the rest of the group. Moving silently down the gravel path. Steve glanced sideways at Bucky and found him glancing right back at him. Bucky's eyes were squinting due to the sun and Steve couldn't help but chuckle at how cute he was.

"What?" Bucky chuckled.

Steve simply shook his head, a smile glued to his face as he told Bucky, "Nothing."

"Nothing," Bucky mocked. Steve's grin grew and Bucky continued, "Yeah, uh huh, sure."

The butterflies fluttered in Steve's stomach again and he stated, "You should've worn sunglasses."

"Yeah, well," Bucky scoffed, "I told you that I wasn't a genius."

Steve looked over at Bucky, studying the brunet. Not liking the way that Bucky's lips were quirked down in the starting of a frown. The pair might have been getting to know each other over the short amount of time that they had known each other, but Steve didn't have to know Bucky too well to recognize the vulnerability and the insecurity.

"Ya know," Steve started, briefly worrying his lower lip with his teeth before continuing, "I read a study once about how being forgetful was linked to a higher intelligence."

Steve wasn't sure what he was expecting for Bucky after that comment, but he expected Bucky to say something. Even just a hum of acknowledgement. But he didn't. So, Steve peeked over at Bucky. His heart stuttering in his chest as he spotted Bucky biting back his own grin.

Maybe Bucky didn't have to say anything. Especially since the look said everything and more than what Steve could've anticipated or wanted.

So, Steve happily continued down the path. Finding comfort in the silence as they walked together. As they followed the path, it eventually became more dense. Trees surrounded them and took over from the manicured lawn and field.

Steve tipped his head up to look at the trees that blotted out the sun and closed his eyes to get lost in the breeze. To get lost in the summer and whatever it held for him.

"You should've brought your sketchbook," Bucky softly mused.

Opening his eyes, Steve turned to look at Bucky. Despite Bucky pressing his lips together, Steve could still spot the smirk tugging at his attractive red lips. Just to mess with Bucky a little, Steve challenged, "Who says that I didn't."

At that, Bucky directed his attention back to Steve. Studying Steve for a moment and causing Steve's heart to stutter in his chest while he attempted to seem confident with Bucky's eyes appraising him. Steve was sure that Bucky was going to call him out on his bluff. Instead, Bucky turned to face the front again and pulled his hand from his pocket so he could run it through his dark hair. Steve was positive that Bucky only did so in hopes of hiding the large grin that was spreading across his face and crinkling up to his eyes.

Pleased with himself, Steve nearly skipped the rest of the way, but held himself back. He pressed his lips together and glanced down at the gravel path as he had the strange urge to take Bucky's hand as it swung freely between them as they walked. Steve wondered if Bucky felt it too.

Choosing not to voice it though, Steve focused on the music that was getting louder the closer they approached. An upbeat punk-rock song that made Steve want to tap his feet. Discreetly, Steve strummed his fingers on his thigh as he entered the clearing.

Pausing on the well-manicured grass, Steve looked over the swimming hole. Steve's eyes weren't sure what to take in first. The stream that trickled down between the large boulders was aesthetically pleasing. Colorful plants that grew around the area made Steve homesick. A thick rope that hung from a tall tree that Sam was currently swinging from before jumping into the water was something that Steve needed to try.

"Sure is something, huh," Bucky stated. Speechlessly, Steve nodded as he marveled at the sheer size of the large swimming hole. Bucky softly chuckled and playfully nudged him, gaining Steve's attention as he suggested, "C'mon."

<https://www.wattpad.com/775462648-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	37. Thirty-Seven

**Thirty-Seven:**

Steve had every intention of following Bucky over to the swimming hole. However, he found himself suddenly unable to move. It could've been because of all the commotion coming from the Barnes kids and their friends as they splashed or dunked each other. Or it could've been because Natasha was sitting on a towel off to the side, lathering sunblock onto her pale skin.

But Steve was almost certain that he found his legs not working because Bucky had removed his tee as he approached the water. Nearly knocking Steve on his ass and causing his breath to hitch in his throat.

Sure, it wasn't the first time that Steve had seen Bucky's wiry frame without his shirt, but it felt different now. Steve's face flushed and he averted his gaze downward to look at his feet. Hoping to catch his breath. Hoping to settle his racing heart and his thundering pulse that was clouding his mind.

Hearing a splash, Steve peeked up. Bucky's head popped up from under the water and he pushed his damp hair off his handsome face. Steve pressed his lips together to fight the grin that wanted to desperately take over his face.

Distracted by watching Bucky, Steve wasn't paying very close attention to his surroundings. Which, he probably should've been. Especially with someone like Brock around. Unfortunately, hindsight had never been Steve's strong suit.

Before Steve could even blink, he was being lifted into the air and coming face-to-face with Brock. Steve's dysphoria the least of his worries as Brock maniacally laughed and quickly headed for the swimming hole. One of Brock's muscular arms supporting the back of his head while his other one was locked beneath Steve's knobbly knees.

"Brock," Steve warned, shifting in the larger boy's grasp, "Put me down!"

"Oh, sure," Brock chuckled, "I'll put you down, sweetheart."

Steve's movements stilled as his blood ran cold in his veins. If Steve thought that Brock calling him, "Stevie," was bad, he was wrong. Dead wrong. He tasted bile at the pet name. He tasted even more when Brock turned his gaze to Steve and winked at him.

Stomach churning, Steve just stared at Brock. Unable to do anything but stare at Brock. Until he hit the water. The cool water sending a shock to his system. Almost as though he was jerking awake. Pushing up, Steve popped up from beneath the water.

Steve pushed his floppy blond hair from his face and went to mutter, "Fucking asshole," but the words didn't get a chance to leave his mouth. Instead, he heard the words spoken by Natasha. Loudly, he might add.

Wiping the refreshing water from his face, Steve squinted up and watched as Natasha swatted at Brock. Steve let the smirk tug at the corner of his lips. He didn't like when others fought his battles, but heaven help the sorry bastard that tried to mess with him while Natasha was around.

Scrubbing at his face, he realized that his sunglasses had fallen off his face in the altercation. Turning his attention from the scene on dry land, Steve took in a deep breath and went back under the water. Finding the water surprisingly clear, Steve spotted his sunglasses easily at the stone bottom.

Finally grabbing the sunglasses, Steve turned and pushed himself back up to the surface. Taking in a deep breath and swimming over to the shallow part where Tibby was. His breathing still ragged as he could finally touch the bottom and walked the rest of the way.

Passing Tibby, Steve reached out and lazily mussed her damp, dark curls. Then, realizing what he had done, Steve paused. It was an instinct for him to do that with Eddie. Steve wasn't even thinking about it. Just did it. He worried his lower lip with his teeth as he glanced over his shoulder to Tibby. Letting out a sigh of relief when she didn't seem bothered by it, Steve continued his way out of the pool.

With his gray tee now heavy from the water, Steve rolled his eyes and sighed in his annoyance. Wringing out his tee the best that he could without removing it, Steve dropped down onto the towel that Natasha had set up for them. Lying on his back, Steve closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Simply letting the sun beat down on him and warm his skin while Natasha beat down on Brock. Absentmindedly wiping his sunglasses on the towel beside him and trying to relax.

_Well_, Steve mentally berated himself, _that's what you get for gawking_. But even he couldn't blame himself. It was summer, after all. He was positive that anyone would get distracted at the sight of Bucky. And even he couldn't blame himself for letting his guard down.

<https://www.wattpad.com/776365793-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	38. Thirty-Eight

**Thirty-Eight:**

"I can't believe that stupid son-of-a-bitch motherfucker," Natasha grumbled, stomping over to her spot and angrily plopping down beside Steve.

Steve kept his eyes closed and lifted his finger to his lips as he shushed Natasha, "Tibby's right there."

"So?" Natasha declared, even though she lowered her voice and playfully stated, "At least when she returns to school she'll have a good story to tell and a colorful new vocabulary."

"I'm sure that your aunts will be pleased," Steve good-humoredly scoffed.

"Probably about as much as your mom was when Eddie called the PlayStation a, 'bitch,' for not loading his game," Natasha reminded with a giggle.

Steve loudly chuckled and rolled onto his side to tell Natasha, "I completely forgot about that."

"How could you forget?!" Natasha snorted, "Your parents were so pissed." Steve nodded, agreeing because Sarah and Joseph had been upset. Warning Steve and Natasha both about how they needed to set a better example for such an impressionable --

"God, your mom is so hot when she's pissed," Natasha feigned a wistful sigh.

"Gross," Steve's face scrunched in discomfort and he playfully shoved at her shoulder as he whined, "Nat, we've talked about this."

Natasha held her hands up in surrender, "Hey, it's not my fault that you come from an attractive gene pool. You should feel proud knowing that --"

"Hey," a pleasant female voice interrupted. With her mouth still open in her half-sentence, Natasha turned to look over first. As Steve turned to face forward, he heard Natasha harshly snap her mouth closed.

There, Sharon stood in a baby blue halter one piece that clung to her athletic frame. Droplets of water clung to her golden tan skin and caused the scalloped detailing at the top of her suit to stick to her chest. Quickly, Steve snapped his eyes up to hers and found her expression apologetic as she started, "I'm sorry about, Brock. He's kind of like a --"

"Douche?" Natasha supplied.

Sharon pressed her lips together and glanced down at the ground while she crossed her arms along her chest. Steve elbowed Natasha and Natasha shrugged innocently. Steve shook his head and redirected his gaze to the leggy blonde in front of them.

Rubbing at her elbow, Sharon took in a deep breath and scrunched her face as she admitted, "Yeah. I was going to say, 'like a kid.' But, yeah."

Not sure what to do with that, Steve simply blinked. Although, he could feel the arrogance wafting off of Natasha beside him. Sharon continued, "He's better once ya get to know 'im."

Steve doubted that, but he decided not to argue with the guy's girlfriend. After all, Sharon seemed like a good person who had a pretty decent ability to judge someone's character. So, if she liked Brock, that had to mean something, right?

"Thanks," Steve accepted Sharon's apology, but still kept a wary eye on Brock, who was currently dunking Clint.

For a moment, the trio was silent. Sharon was chewing on the inside of her cheek and Steve wondered if she believed him. Steve was well aware that he was a terrible liar, but he still tried when it could diffuse a situation.

Finally, Sharon gestured towards the ground and asked, "Ya mind if I just…"

"Uh," Steve started.

"No, not at all," Natasha eagerly finished, climbing onto the now damp towel that Steve was sitting on.

Steve's brows furrowed at Natasha, but Natasha wasn't paying him any attention. Her gaze was locked on Sharon. Sharon who was bashfully smiling as she took a seat on the dry towel where Natasha had been. Steve watched Natasha for a moment, trying not to chuckle at the way that Natasha was acting. Sure, Steve was aware that Natasha made sure to treat any lady that she was interested in well, but it was still funny.

Sharon sat crisscross on the yellow towel and happily smiled at Steve and Natasha. Her naturally wide eyes looked between the pair. First at Natasha, then Steve, then back to Natasha. Sharon's smile stayed on her face, crinkling up to her eyes, and she took in a deep breath. Steve was positive that she was going to say something, but she didn't.

So, Steve did.

"How long have you, uh," Steve started and realized that he had literally nothing to follow it up with. Grasping at straws, Steve continued, "Been, uh, been… friends… with the Barnes'?"

"Oh, uh," Sharon smiled and nodded, "Yeah. I've had classes with Sam since… forever. Even had 'em with Bucky --" casually, Sharon became louder as she teased "-- before he got too smart for us!"

"What?" Bucky curiously asked from beside Steve.

Steve pressed his lips harshly together and dug his fingers into his palms to actively keep himself from looking up at Bucky. Knowing that he'd find a nearly naked Bucky, dripping wet. And Steve knew that he most definitely wasn't ready to find that looming over him.

"Oh, just saying that we used to be quite the pair back before you got too smart for all of us," Sharon sweetly smiled at Bucky, showing off her perfect teeth.

"Oh, please," Bucky scoffed.

From his shadow, Steve could see that Bucky was crossing his arms. Steve dug his nails deeper into his palms. Desperately clinging to his dignity to not tilt his head up and look at the gorgeous brunet who was standing beside him, dripping wet, and probably just as attractive as he always was.

"Oh, please," Sharon good-naturedly mocked.

As Steve sat there, trying to restrain himself. His breath hitched when Bucky casually took a seat next to him. Not sitting on the wet towel. Not sitting too close. Keeping an appropriate -- and annoying -- distance from Steve.

Steve eyed the tiny gap between Bucky's knee and his own. All he had to do was stretch his --

Accidentally knocking his knee against Steve's as he leaned back on his palms, Steve reminded himself to remain calm. To not let on that his heart was racing in his chest. Praying that Bucky couldn't tell that Steve was burning at the simple spot where their kneecaps were touching.

Attempting to be as nonchalant as possible, Steve mimicked Bucky's posture. Leaning back, Steve's fingers accidentally touched Bucky's instead of the soft towel. Quickly, Steve sat straight up again. Cringing at his own mishap, Steve peeked over his shoulder to look back at Bucky.

A slow grin crossed Bucky's face and he shifted slightly. Moving his hand just a bit. Giving Steve a little space. Steve tried to smile back when, really, he felt disappointed. Facing forward again, Steve decided to appreciate what he had: a boy who respected his space.

Leaning back, Steve steadied himself on his palm, flat on the towel. Finding comfort in the fact that Bucky was still sitting beside him. Finding comfort in the spot where their knees touched, no matter how small the spot happened to be. Finding comfort in the fact that Bucky was simply there beside him.

<https://www.wattpad.com/777107004-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	39. Thirty-Nine

**Thirty-Nine:**

"It needs a little more mustard," Aunt Winifred instructed after tasting the potato salad that Steve was mixing together.

"More mustard?" Steve questioned with a quirked brow, holding up the container of mustard. Winifred nodded and Steve shrugged and tipped it over, squirting a decent amount into the large bowl before placing the bottle of mustard back on the counter and picking up the large spoon. Mixing the mustard in, even though his arm was sore.

Winifred took another taste and finally approved before moving over to the island where Natasha was rolling meatballs. Winifred looked over the balls and narrowed her eyes as she evaluated them like she was a host of a cooking show. Then, Winifred informed Natasha, "They need to be smaller."

Moving onto Sam, who was mixing a large pitcher of lemonade. As Winifred poured a small amount into a class, Sam stood back from the counter. Arms crossed and an arrogant grin on his face. When Winifred nodded in approval, Sam stuck his tongue out at Natasha and Steve. Clearly being proud of his work.

Winifred reached up and affectionately patted the top of his head and quickly moved on to the next person. Who happened to be Mandy on the deck, getting the grill ready. Giving it a quick glance and fondly squeezing Mandy's shoulder while moving along the deck to instruct Clint and Brock where to move the furniture.

Steve's attention, however, had been set on Bucky who was wrapping twinkle lights around the trees. Stopping periodically to playfully jump at Tibby, as though he was going to attack her. Causing her to squeal and run off to the playset swing set where Becca was waiting for her. Steve grinned down at the bowl of potato salad.

It was the Fourth of July, and the Barnes' apparently had an annual barbeque to celebrate. Steve and Natasha hadn't been unaware of the celebration until they woke up that morning to find the household getting ready for the night.

Sure, it wasn't an ideal way to spend his birthday, but Steve didn't mind. After all, what else was he going to do? Even if they were back home, Steve wouldn't really be doing anything. Perhaps have a cake, but Steve didn't particularly have that sweet of a tooth. Barring black licorice. And Natasha had already surprised him with an extra bag of licorice that she had been hiding particularly for this day.

"This is bullshit," Natasha complained while taking the already rolled meatballs and mushing them down and splitting them in half. Annoyed, Natasha blew at up as though she was moving her bangs despite them being held back by a thick magenta headband. Natasha snarked, "Who's idea was it to put the lesbian in charge of handling the balls?"

Sam barked out a laugh at that and Steve couldn't help but chuckle too. Steve pointed accusingly at Sam while Sam pointed right back at him. Of course, that only caused the pair to laugh even more.

"Stevie," Natasha whined, stomping her foot for added effect as she begged, "Come help me!"

Dramatically, Steve rolled his eyes and threw his head back as he sauntered over to the sink. Quickly washing his hands before heading over to the island and looking over the mounds of meat that were rolled into vaguely and misshapen balls. Steve's brows furrowed and he huffed out a breath and gave Natasha a pointed look.

"Again," Natasha complained, "Who decided that the lesbian should be handling the balls?"

Steve shook his head. The smile stayed on his face, and grew when Sam loudly chuckled. Steve picked up a large mound of raw meat mixed with seasoning and squished it down. Splitting it into two and rolling each into round balls.

As Steve went to pick up another mound, a loud beep went off and startled Steve so much that he almost dropped the meat in his hand. Sam moved around the island and squeezed past Steve to get to the oven. Grabbing the royal purple oven-mitt, Sam opened the oven door and pulled out a tray of miniature, patriotic mixed berry pies.

"Pies are done," Sam happily announced.

Natasha exchanged a look with Steve before admitting, "'Smell good."

"Taste good too," Sam promised, setting the tray down on the stove-top burners. Cheerfully, Sam turned the oven off and made his way back over to his designated station. Reaching up and grabbing another large pitcher from the cupboard.

Steve continued splitting Natasha's previously made meatballs and curiously asked Sam, "What'cha makin' now?"

"Kool-Aid," Sam answered, smirking over his shoulder.

"Duh," Natasha teased while Steve questioned, "What flavor?"

"Um," Sam started and grabbed the canister of powder. Holding it in his hands, he read, "'Sharkleberry Fin.'"

Natasha giggled, "What the fuck even is that?"

"Well, there looks to be bananas, strawberries, and oranges," Sam clarified, turning around and holding the canister out to Natasha and Steve. Then, his expression lit up as he added, "But most importantly, the Kool-Aid Man looks almost as happy as the shark he's riding."

"Because that's what really matters," Steve mockingly agreed.

Sam turned around, to get back to making the drink and conceded, "Obviously."

"Right," Natasha deadpanned, "Who needs to know if it tastes good. As long as the artwork is cute."

Chuckling, Sam threw his head back and Steve couldn't help but join in. Even Natasha couldn't avoid it as the contagious laughter filled her up too. It was difficult not to indulge in the laughter, so Steve didn't try to refrain himself.

Over the laughter, a woman called out from the foyer, "Hello?!"

Sam's laughter immediately ceased and he hurried to dump the measured Kool-Aid powder into the pitcher before leaving the kitchen. Steve and Natasha exchanged a look, not sure what was going on. Instead of voicing themselves, they silently continued rolling the meatballs.

"Smells good," the same voice declared, entering the kitchen from the living room. The woman paused and said, "Natasha, sweetie, what did you do to your hair."

Steve peeked up at the black woman then, watching as she crossed the room to the island and reached out to touch Natasha's gray bob. Natasha smiled up at the woman and asked, "What'cha think, Aunt D?"

"I think we switched colors," Aunt D, giggled, tucking her own vibrant red hair behind her ear. Noticing Steve, she paused and greeted him, "Hello."

"Hi," Steve shyly smiled, concentrating on the raw ball of meat in his hand. Remembering back to how Ivan gave them his dead name, Steve quickly introduced himself, "I'm Steve."

"I'm Darlene," she introduced herself. After a moment, she giggled and admitted, "I'd shake your hand, but…"

"That's okay," Steve reassured, "'The thought that counts."

A slow smile crossed her face and she decided, "I like you. I'll keep you."

At that, a large grin tugged at Steve's lips. Knowing that he was accepted was the best birthday present that Steve could've ever asked for.

<https://www.wattpad.com/777236512-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	40. Forty

**Forty:**

"Mama!" Tibby squealed running into the house and crashed into Darlene's muscular legs.

Darlene smiled and picked Tibby up into her lean arms. Holding Tibby close, Tibby nuzzled her face in Darlene's hair while Darlene stroked her back. Softly, Darlene spoke, "Did you miss me?"

Silently, Tibby nodded and held Darlene just a little tighter. Knowing that Tibby needed cheering up, Darlene began peppering Tibby's face with kisses. Pressing an abundant amount of kisses until Tibby giggled. Steve fondly smiled and dropped his gaze back to the bowl of meat in front of him. Figuring that it was a Mom Thing.

Steve peeked up at the clock and found that it was going on noon. Rolling one more ball, Steve turned to the sink and washed the meat and seasoning from his hands. Quietly excusing himself to use the Barnes' house phone to call Sarah.

Dialing the number, Steve continued until he was in the guestroom. Holding the handheld up to his ear, he patiently waited for someone to answer. Surely, someone would answer, right? Right? They'd be anticipating Steve to call home, yeah? It was his birthday, after all.

Just as Steve started to worry his lip with his teeth, he heard Sarah cheerily answer, "Hello?"

"Hey," Steve replied, exhaling deeply and allowing the anxiety to leave his body.

"Stevie?!" Sarah happily stated, "Goodness, I nearly didn't recognize you. You really are growing up, huh."

"Yeah, yeah," Steve rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed on his face as he mocked, "No need to get emotional now."

"Steven, I am your mother," Sarah feigned sternness, but Steve could hear the smile. She sniffled and admitted, "I just can't believe that my baby is all grown up!"

Steve good-naturedly scoffed, "Okay, okay. None of that."

"All of that," Sarah argued with a giggle. Steve sat down on the bed and Sarah softly told him, "Happy birthday, sweetie. Are you having a good day?"

"Thanks, mom," Steve smiled, briefly wishing that he was home just so he could hug her. Turning his gaze downward, Steve realized that he would be home soon enough, and suddenly, Steve was more than just a little conflicted. Looking down at his painted toes, Steve told her, "It's been okay. We're getting ready for a barbeque."

"Yeah? That sounds exciting," Sarah said. Steve was sure that she was smiling, and he smiled too. She asked, "Hopefully, Nattie's behaving herself."

"Surprisingly --"

"Eddie, shh," Sarah said off the phone, causing Steve to pause. Steve bit back his grin and Sarah sighed, "Eddie wants to talk to you."

"Well," Steve feigned annoyance, "Put him on, I guess."

"He probably wants to talk about Meatloaf," Sarah warned.

"How is Meatloaf?" Steve questioned with a chuckle.

"I'm sure Eddie will give you the run down," Sarah teased. Then, she told Steve, "I'm handing over the phone now."

"Okay," Steve agreed, preparing for whatever Eddie was going to tell him.

"Happy birthday to you," Eddie loudly started singing. Steve winced and pulled the phone back from his ear as Eddie continued, "Happy birthday, dear Stevie! Happy birthday to you!"

"Thanks, Ed," Steve told him once he was positive Eddie was done signing. "What are you doing today? Anything fun?"

"Daddy made berry trifle," Eddie spoke loudly.

"Yeah? Is it good?" Steve questioned, reclining back on the bed.

"Dunno," Eddie admitted, then excitedly informed Steve, "Meatloaf is having her babies though!"

"Really?" Steve asked, a large grin crossing his face.

"Yup!" Eddie happily confirmed. Almost as though he was jumping around, as he continued, "You're going to share your birthday with the kittens."

"That's pretty cool," Steve smiled.

There was commotion on the other line and Eddie informed Steve, "Mommy wants to talk to you."

"Okay," Steve agreed, then, before Eddie can pass the phone over, Steve suggested, "Save one for me to name."

"Okay, love you!" Eddie loudly called.

"Love you, too," Steve smiled and waited for the commotion to stop.

"Did Eddie tell you?" Sarah asked.

Steve nodded, "He did. Leave one for me to name?"

Sarah giggled at that and she said, "You can put in your requests once I post pictures."

"Deal," Steve agreed. Chewing on his lower lip, Steve knew that he needed to get off the phone. So, a bit reluctantly he stated, "I should go. Don't want to keep the line tied up."

"Okay, sweetie," Sarah confirmed, "I love you. Happy birthday."

Just like every other birthday, Steve wanted to thank Sarah for so much more than simply wishing him a happy birthday. To thank her for being his family. To thank her for being so supportive. To thank her for giving up her youth. To thank her for choosing to raise him as her own. Instead of saying all of what he was thankful for, Steve went with the simple, "Thanks. I love you, too. Love dad, too."

"He loves you, too," Sarah replied, "He'd tell you himself, if he wasn't busy with Meatloaf."

Steve grinned at that, "I'm sure that he'll message me later."

"I'm sure too," Sarah agreed, telling Steve that she loved him again.

Ending the call, Steve sat there for a moment. Hoping that Sarah knew just how grateful he was for her. Knowing that he was damn lucky to have Sarah and hoping that she knew that.

<https://www.wattpad.com/777531282-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	41. Forty-One

**Forty-One:**

Standing off to the side by himself, Steve quietly watched the Barnes' Fourth of July Barbeque. Marveling at all the commotion and wondering if he could sneak back inside the house, unnoticed. People in general made Steve uncomfortable, but strangers made his skin crawl.

"Hi," a familiar voice softly greeted next to Steve.

Not expecting it, Steve nearly jumped out of his skin. Turning to find Bucky, Steve let out a relieved breath and brought a hand to his chest in hopes of calming his racing heart. There was an apologetic -- yet still amused -- grin on his face. Briefly, Bucky pressed his lips together before he quietly asked, "What are you doing over here by yourself?"

Steve shrugged and looked down at his feet as he admitted, "I don't like being around a lot of people."

"Huh," Bucky mused, regaining Steve's attention. Bucky was fighting his smile as he teased, "And here I thought Natasha was the anti-social one."

"Funny," Steve deadpanned and playfully rolled his eyes. His heart fluttered when Bucky's smile grew and crinkled around his ice blue eyes. It was Steve's favorite smile. The smile that Steve would like to pretend was just for him.

"So," Bucky started, glancing away and clearing his throat. Steve kept his attention on Bucky, and mentally noted how close they were standing. Not that Steve minded. Bucky kept his gaze on his hands as he suggested, "They're showing _The Fly_ and _Return of the Fly_ this Monday."

Steve knew the movie. And although he thrilled at the fact that Bucky was inviting him, officially, to Monster Movie Monday, Steve wasn't sure he could stomach the movie that early in the morning. Even just thinking about the special effects made Steve feel queasy.

Since Steve hadn't said anything, Bucky peeked up at him. Bucky's brows furrowed as he asked, "What?"

Thinking of the grotesque body horror of the acclaimed 1986 film, Steve shuddered and admitted, "I nearly puked when I watched it with my dad."

"Really?" Bucky questioned, concern seeping into his expression as his eyes went wide in shock. He quietly mused, "I know that Vincent Price is the master of horror, but I don't know anyone who's --"

"Vincent Price?" Steve interrupted, his brows furrowing.

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed, smiling as he reminded, "The Ki--"

"The King of Horror, I know," Steve quickly assured. Then, he shook his head and said, "It didn't have him. It had Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis."

"Gotcha," Bucky nodded, understanding and reassured, "That's the remake. On Monday, it'll be the original."

With a smile, Steve mocked a sigh of relief and pretended to wipe imaginary sweat from his forehead, causing Bucky to laugh. When the laughter trickled to an end, Steve bit back his own grin. Bashfully looking away when his eyes locked with Bucky's. Who knew that such blue eyes could warm someone's soul as though they were swimming in hot chocolate.

Steve found himself feeling like this often when he was around Bucky. No, _only_ when he was around Bucky. Steve's lips were fighting to quirk up, despite his teeth being in his lower lip. Admitting to himself that Bucky's laugh was his favorite sound, and that Bucky's eyes were his favorite color.

Glancing back up, Steve mentally noted how close they were standing. A part of Steve felt the urge to reach out and feel the five o'clock shadow on Bucky's prominent jaw beneath his fingertips. The thought shocked Steve. Knowing that he was attracted to Bucky, but not realizing the extent of his own feelings until that very moment.

"Steve!" Natasha's voice broke through Steve's daydreams, and Steve turned to look over to where Natasha was. Which happened to be at the volleyball net that had been specifically set up for the party. She held the patriotic volleyball against her hip and insisted with a wave, "C'mon!"

Turning back to look at Bucky, Steve found his gaze down, on his navy-blue cargo shorts. The same shorts that Steve owned packed in his dresser back home. Not wanting to think about home, Steve bumped his shoulder against Bucky's. Once Bucky was looking up at him, Steve gestured over to the net and encouraged, "Let's go!"

As a slow grin stretched across Bucky's face, Steve grabbed his hand and gave him a gentle tug. Bucky slightly staggered at the gesture, but quickly regained his balance and allowed Steve to lead him over to the net. Easily, Bucky fell into step next to Steve. Out of his periphery, Steve caught Bucky glance down at their linked hands and smile real sweet and private. Almost as though, he didn't expect Steve to catch him.

Steve's heart stuttered in his chest and he wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but he could've sworn that he felt Bucky's thumb rub tender circles in the back of his hand. Before Steve could glance down and see if Bucky was actually being so cute, Natasha grabbed his free hand and yanked him away. Stumbling, Steve managed to throw one glance at Bucky, sharing an apologetic grin with each other.

<https://www.wattpad.com/777839654-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	42. Forty-Two

**Forty-Two:**

"You're with me," Natasha announced, tugging Steve to one side of the net while he stumbled.

"Hey!" Brock loudly complained from the other side, "We don't even know if Steve can play."

"What's your point?" Natasha asked, her tone laced with annoyance.

Brock studied Natasha for a moment, then, he accused, "You know that he _can_ play!"

Natasha smirked over at Steve, and Steve smirked down at the ground. Brock continued, "You can't take all the good players and leave me with --" he gestured over to Bucky "-- _him_."

"I'm standing_ right _here!" Bucky scoffed, possibly actually offended.

Brock rolled his eyes and Steve couldn't help but narrow his eyes at him. Who did he think he was? As Brock and Natasha argued from opposite sides of the net, Steve glanced over at Bucky. Bucky gave Natasha and Brock a pointed look and theatrically rolled his eyes, causing Steve to smirk.

Taking a step forward, Steve offered, "I might have a solution."

As though Steve hadn't spoken at all, a short boy with reddening peach skin and orangey-red hair from Brock's side of the net complained, "You always do this!"

"I don't see why I always get stuck with the rejects, Evan!" Brock retorted, shooting the boy a glare. From behind him, Steve noticed how Clint hid his face with his hand as he winced at Brock's words. Clearly knowing how Sharon would react.

"Rejects?!" Sharon exclaimed, swatting Brock as she defended herself, "I'm on the varsity volleyball team!"

"I didn't mean _you_," Brock quickly backtracked, trying to appease his girlfriend. An athletic, lighter-skinned black girl who's shoulder muscles were bulging, harshly nudged Brock with her elbow as she tightened her ponytail that was keeping her black braids from her face. Brock looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes, "You either, Hil."

"See," Mandy started from Natasha's side of the net, "You're not with rejects!"

For a moment, Steve just stood there silently while more people joined in on the argument. It wasn't particularly unusual for Steve. He was often overlooked. And typically, he didn't mind much. Sure, Steve wanted to be heard in that moment, but it wasn't unheard of for him to go unnoticed. Glancing over, Steve found that Bucky was paying attention to him. His arms were crossed and his brows were furrowed as he looked… concerned?

Raising to talk over the different voices, Steve declared, "I might have a solution!"

That got everyone's attention and Steve pressed his lips together, wondering why he opened his mouth at all. Brock crossed his arms along his bare chest and said, "Alright, let's hear it."

Nonchalantly, Steve shrugged and offered, "You and I switch."

Brock perked at the suggestion. Positively lighting up at the simple idea and he enthusiastically agreed, "Okay!"

It didn't take long for Brock to bend and move underneath the net. Moving quickly to a position near the back next to Becca. It also didn't take long for Steve to move underneath the net to a position between Sharon and Bucky.

"There," the ginger boy, Evan, rolled his eyes.

The black girl, Hil, condescendingly mocked, "Are you happy now?"

"Very happy," Brock confirmed with a shit-eating grin. Hil started heading towards the back left corner and held her middle finger in the air at Brock. Brock feigned offense and theatrically gasped, "Is that any way to act around _children_?"

"You're worse than Hildy on a regular basis," Sam defended while a blonde girl with envious abs nonchalantly exclaimed, "Pot, meet Kettle."

Steve chuckled at that and earned a smile from Hildy. Her large brown eyes evaluated Steve as she crossed over to him and held out her hand and introduced herself, "Hildy."

Eagerly taking her hand, he introduced himself, "Steve."

"Figured," Hildy smirked knowingly and quirked her brow at Bucky, who was going red in the face. As her arrogant smirk grew, she winked at Steve and walked back over to the corner that she had claimed.

Steve's brows furrowed, but his smile stayed on his face. Had Bucky talked about him? Steve chewed on his lower lip and glanced at Bucky. A scarlet blush was on Bucky's normally pale cheeks and Steve noted how he was seemingly purposely avoiding looking at Steve. Even though Steve felt bad about Bucky being embarrassed, he couldn't help his grin growing on his face.

"Are we playing or not?" Sharon loudly asked from Steve's other side, causing Steve to drop his gaze from Bucky and shook Steve from his daydreams.

Facing the front, Steve noticed the cocky quirk of Natasha's lips. Smugly, knowingly, Natasha effortlessly passed the ball over the net. Sharon caught it and quickly moved back to stand in the back right corner, getting ready to serve. Steve moved over to the spot where she had previously been standing while Bucky moved to the center and Clint took the spot on his other side. Steve looked up and found himself face-to-face with Brock. Well, face-to-chest.

"Ya ready, Stevie?" Brock smirked, bending at the knee, ready for the game.

Steve narrowed his eyes and braced himself as well. Sharon served and the game began. Although Steve might not have seemed like much, he had a secret hidden up his sleeve. Sharon wasn't the only one who had been on a Varsity Team. Steve had been the only underclassman who had been on the team back home.

And Steve was beyond ready to kick Brock's ass.

<https://www.wattpad.com/778006052-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	43. Forty-Three

**Forty-Three:**

As the game progressed, the more Steve grew to loathe Brock. Finding that Brock had the audacity to be both a sore winner and a sore loser. For each point that him and his team made, he would cheer and rub it in Steve's face, specifically. For each point that they lost, he would demand, "Get your shit together, Crossbones!"

The other team members groaned in annoyance and Natasha loudly argued, "That's not the team's name!"

"Yes, it is!" Brock insisted, appearing to be absolutely bonkers as he questioned, "Then what is it?!"

"I don't know," Natasha placed her hands on her hips and challenged, "But it sure as all hell isn't _that_."

Steve stood there, watching the other team bicker while tossing the ball in the air and catching it. It was his turn to serve again, and he was going to make sure not to take it too easy this time. He was ready to end the game, if only to shut Brock up.

Sam was trying to diffuse the situation on the other side of the net, and Steve sighed. Holding the ball against his hip, and looked over at his teammates as he asked, "Should I wait?"

"Hell no," Hildy loudly answered.

Turning to face the front again, Steve caught Bucky's gaze. Bucky encouraged, "Go ahead. If they miss it, they miss it."

Assuring himself, Steve nodded and smiled at the support and skillfully tossed the ball up and hit it with the heel of his hand. Causing the ball to harshly and flawlessly fly over the net. Having been practiced almost religiously for the early half of his adolescence, Steve had near-perfect aim and managed to hit the ball where it would land directly between Natasha and Brock.

Brock and Natasha paused their bickering. While the ball bounced up, Sam caught it, looking at it in awe. Shocked, everyone on both sides of the net looked over at Steve. The only one who wasn't surprised was Natasha. But, of course, Natasha wouldn’t be, considering she had been one of his main supporters during his games.

"Where the hell did that come from?!" Brock accused, approaching the net with furrowed brows.

Steve shrugged and before he could say anything, the members of his team all cheered victoriously. Sharon, Clint, and Hildy all crowded around Steve, ruffling his hair and holding his arms up as their proclaimed champion. Steve's cheeks burned and so did the tops of his ears as Sharon's younger brother, Evan, ruffled his hair. Bucky held back, smiling fondly at him and causing a shot of pride to develop in Steve's chest.

"Why the hell are you acting like he just won a tournament?! We're still playing!" Brock complained.

"Oh," Hildy started and childishly stuck her tongue out at him before heading back over to her spot.

"Such a dick," Evan muttered, following Hildy and taking his spot between Hildy and Bucky.

Clint companionably clapped his hand on Steve's shoulder and claimed, "Don't take it seriously."

"Right," Steve nodded, keeping his gaze down.

"You're serve!" Becca called from the other side of the net. She waited until Steve was looking before tossing the ball over to him.

"Thanks!" Steve called, focusing on catching the ball rather than the way his voice cracked.

Steve's jaw clenched tightly, he tossed the ball up, getting ready to serve again. Brock chose that moment to tease, "No wonder Bucky's got such'a hard on for ya! You're damn cute when you're determined!"

Fumbling, Steve caught the ball before it could go too far and his mouth dropped open in shock. Bucky was standing in front of Brock and Bucky lowly warned, "Stop."

"Oh, c'mon. I'm agreein' with ya!" Brock claimed, looking over Bucky's shoulder at Steve. Winking at Steve as he continued, "Your mouth really does pucker in the cutest way, sweetheart."

"Brock, seriously," Sharon sternly demanded, casting a cautious glance at Steve.

On the other side of the net, Sam shook his head in disappointment, "Not cool, man."

Brock mocked a pout, "But, babe --"

"Better be careful," Natasha warned with a smirk, "He purposely didn't hit you last time. If you keep talking you can guarantee he'll hit you this time."

From the back, Hildy's girlfriend, Carol, tucked the fallen blonde strands behind her ears and instructed Steve, "Serve it."

So, Steve did just that. Throwing the ball up, Steve made sure to serve it more aggressively than the previous time. Soaring over the net, Becca got to it, passed it to Mandy who hit it back over to his side. Hildy set it up and Evan jumped -- much higher than Steve expected -- and spiked the ball, scoring the game point.

From beside Steve, Clint yelled, "That's what I'm talking about Soaring Eagles!"

Sharon groaned and Hildy complained, "That's not our team name!"

"Seems fitting to me," Carol snickered, walking under the net to throw her arm around Hildy's waist and affectionately kissed her cheek.

Smiling, Steve bashfully averted his gaze. Not wanting them to think he was a creeper or a pervert watching their loving behavior. As they started heading over to the food, Hildy ruffled Steve's hair, regaining his attention.

"It's a damn shame that you don't live here, the Valkyries could use a player like you," Carol stated, causing Steve's chest to clench. If only his school back home was as supportive.

"Thanks," Steve smiled, meaning it.

"I'm starting to think that Wizard had it all wrong," Natasha started, slinging her arm around Steve's shoulders, "'There's no place like home'? Complete bullshit."

"Bullshit?" Steve questioned with a chuckle, allowing Natasha to guide him over to where the rest of the teenagers were getting food.

Natasha nodded, "I've never wanted to stay in Oz more, Toto."

Steve's eyes locked with Bucky's and he admitted, "I know what ya mean."

<https://www.wattpad.com/778361194-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	44. Forty-Four

**Forty-Four:**

The fireworks boomed and cackled overhead. Their flashing lights and alluring colors painting the sky. Not as impressive as the ones back home, but still entertaining. Even if it was mainly due to Brock singeing his arm hairs by trying to show off with a Roman candle.

Steve couldn't help but snicker to himself.

Meanwhile, Natasha laughed as loud as she could; rivaling the booming light show.

Sitting there on the lawn between Natasha and Bucky, Steve held his legs close to his chest. Tilting his head back to watch the fireworks. Wondering if he could recreate those properly in a sketch later. He was a decent artist, but he always had difficulties with fireworks. It was utterly infuriating. It really just --

"Are you cold?" Bucky asked, leaning over, so Steve could hear him over the noise.

Steve's brows furrowed as he tore his gaze away from the sky to Bucky. Being almost as speechless as he gazed into Bucky's eyes as he was by the art in the sky. Blinking his mind clear, Steve realized that he was involuntarily shivering and goosebumps were visible on his skin. Knowing that he should get up and get a sweater. But he didn't want to. He'd have to get up and that had the potential of causing a commotion.

Which Steve wanted to avoid at all costs.

"Here," Bucky insisted, shrugging out of his gray zip-up hoodie. Holding the sweatshirt out to Steve.

Steve's brows furrowed and he declined, "It's okay. You wear it."

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and reassured, "I don't need it and you're cold."

"I'm not --"

"Your teeth are chattering," Bucky interrupted Steve's protest. Sighing, Bucky's expression softened and insisted again, "Take it, please?"

Chewing on his own lower lip, Steve internally debated. Worrying his lower lip, he tried to set up a quick list of pros and cons. Of course, after coming up with his first pro -- (1) it'd smell like Bucky -- Steve couldn't think of anything else. And suddenly, Steve didn't want to try and think of anything else.

Hesitantly, Steve caved and took the sweatshirt from Bucky. Absolutely not missing the pleased look on Bucky's face as he slid his arms into the sweatshirt. A swell of pride seeping into Steve's chest as he effortlessly pulled up the zipper and brought his knees up to his chest again. Hugging his legs to his torso and discreetly inhaling deeply.

Even after Steve stopped trying to breathe in Bucky's natural musk and citrus body wash, it was still lingering and fogging Steve's mind. Content, Steve turned his gaze back to the fireworks. Needing just a moment to catch his breath before looking over at Bucky. His words stopped on his tongue before he even had the chance to open his mouth when he realized that Bucky was already watching him.

Swallowing thickly, Steve averted his gaze and leaned over, "Thanks."

"No problem," Bucky reassured, fondly knocking his shoulder against Steve's as they sat side by side.

A smile stretching Steve's lips, he ducked his head into his knees. Taking a moment to pray to any god or goddess out there that he'll remember this moment forever. Hoping that it'll still be there when he's older and the years have eclipsed the summer that they shared together. Then, Steve turned his attention back to the skies. Not just for the fireworks, but praying that Bucky will remember him too.

"They're great, right?" Bucky asked, trying to make his voice loud enough to be heard over the noise.

Keeping his eyes on the colors and designs, Steve nodded and admitted, "They're my favorite part of my birthday."

"Wait, what?" Bucky questioned.

_Oh no_, Steve thought and quickly turned his attention to Bucky. With wide eyes, Steve turned the question on Bucky, "What?"

"Your birthday?" Bucky's brows were arched high on his forehead, "Is… _today_… your _birthday_?"

"Uh," Steve started but didn't know how to finish. He didn't like to be the center of attention. He didn't like people knowing it was his birthday because then it would make him the center of attention. And no matter how revealing or shocking Natasha's outfit was, wouldn't change that. He knew from experience.

Then, Bucky was standing from his spot on the grass. _Shit_, Steve couldn't help but think. Quickly, Steve stood from his spot too and headed into the house. Not sure if Bucky was going to make it a big deal. But since Bucky was rummaging through the kitchen looking for _something_, Steve assumed that he was, in fact, going to make it a big deal.

"What are you doing?" Steve quietly questioned, joining Bucky in the kitchen.

Bucky took one of the leftover mini-pies from the fridge and placed it on the counter. As he reached up, his shirt rode slightly up and Steve shook his head. Instead, focusing on the handsome brunet in front of him, Steve glared at the countertop.

"I don't want it to be a big deal," Steve mumbled, looking at the colors in the unique countertop.

Pausing, Bucky glanced over his shoulder. Getting whatever he was looking for, Bucky closed the cabinet door and leaned on the counter. Steve peeked up to find Bucky looking at him. Steve's favorite slow grin was on Bucky's face and Bucky assured, "Then, we won't make it a big deal."

"Thank you," Steve sighed in relief. Noticing the clear container of candles though, Steve's brows furrowed and he asked, "What're those?"

"Just because we're not gonna make it a big deal doesn't mean that you can't blow out some candles." Smiling, Bucky opened the container and started looking over the candles, "Now, how old are you?"

Steve's speechless for a moment. Blinking to clear his head and hoping to settle the butterflies in his stomach, Steve cleared his throat and answered, "Seventeen."

"Damn," Bucky sighed. Steve's brows furrowed and Bucky held up a candle with a number one on it, "We're missing the seven."

Pressing his lips together, Steve couldn't help but smile. Especially when Bucky improvised by placing a four and a three candle beside the one on the pie. Lighting the candles, Bucky slid the pie across the counter to Steve and smiled, "Happy birthday, Stevie. Make a wish."

For a moment, Steve stared at the little pie with his teeth in his lower lip. There was only one wish that Steve could think of in that moment. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and blew out the candles with the simple wish of: _Please, let him remember me forever_.

<https://www.wattpad.com/778386542-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	45. Forty-Five

**Forty-Five:**

The game started with Brock as the first seeker while everyone else hid. No one discussed splitting up into teams to hide, but everyone split up anyway. Clint went with Evan, and Mandy. Becca and Sam went off with Hildy and Carol. Natasha even managed to hide with Sharon. Leaving Steve and Bucky. Although Steve wasn't certain, he was suspicious that it was intentionally set up that way.

Steve looked around, trying to figure out where he wanted to hide. The house was off limits per one of the only rules there seemed to be. There was still a lot of land though. The playset swing set combo. The RV parked off to the far right near the forest. The goats pen near the refurbished barn-turned-art studio.

On the deck, Brock was standing, facing the house with a hand over his closed eyes while he loudly counted. Heart pounding in his chest and his hands turning clammy, Steve surveyed the area. There were so many options, but Steve couldn't realistically see himself in any of them.

"C'mon," Bucky quietly suggested, taking Steve's sweaty hand in his.

Giving Steve's arm a tug before quickly heading over towards Aunt Winifred's art studio. Which was also off-limits. Steve couldn't help but worry his lip with his teeth. Both at the possibility of breaking a rule, and breaking it with Bucky. Mainly though, Steve wondered if he should pull his hand out of Bucky's grip. It was sweaty and clammy and just plain gross, in Steve's opinion. And he didn't want Bucky to associate those with him.

However, Steve only held on tighter, letting Bucky lead him wherever. Which happened to be off to the side of the barn, into a storage shed.

The shed itself was dark and Steve hated dark areas. Especially when they were dark, cramped spaces. But Bucky was there and Steve was positive that he'd go just about anywhere with Bucky. Even if it was a creepy shed in the middle of summer.

Reluctantly, Bucky dropped Steve's hand to close the double shed doors, leaving them in complete darkness. The pair was silent as they stood close to each other. Steve couldn't see Bucky move, but he could hear his feet shuffle and felt the tip of Bucky's shoes touch the side of his.

Realizing that Bucky was facing him, Steve swallowed thickly and decided to turn to face him too. They stood close in the cramped space, with their shoes touching. So close that Steve could practically feel the nervous energy rolling off Bucky. Or maybe that was just Steve's own nerves.

"Ready or not!" Brock yelled and Steve held his breath in anticipation as Brock continued, "Here I come!"

Closing his eyes, Steve expected Brock to find him and Bucky first. After all, they weren't far from the deck where Brock had been counting. Steve's heart pounded aggressively in his chest as he imagined Brock ripping the door open at any minute.

Silently, Bucky and Steve stood there as they waited. Steve wished now that they had hid somewhere else that wasn't so dark and wasn't so creepy. Or at least a place where he could see Bucky's face.

Of course, Steve did take little comfort in still wearing Bucky's zip-up. Just a little.

Then, Steve felt Bucky's fingers softly graze the back of Steve's hand. Trailing down to Steve's fingers and leaving a tingle wherever they went. Almost like his cells were waking.

Lacing their fingers together, Bucky took a step closer. Closing the distance between them as their bodies touched. Steve tilted his head back to look up at Bucky, even though it was too dark to see him. Yet, that didn't seem to matter as Bucky's other hand tenderly traced up Steve's arm. Traced over his shoulder. Traced up Steve's neck and cradled his jaw.

Affectionately, Bucky's thumb stroked Steve's jaw and Steve closed his eyes. Surprisingly, Steve's breathing was even as he relaxed into Bucky's touch. Bucky leaned forward, and softly ran his nose along Steve's. So softly that Steve wasn't even sure if it really happened or if he just imagined it.

As Bucky rested his forehead against Steve's, Steve wished that it wasn't so dark. Steve wanted to see Bucky. He wanted to see what his eyes looked like in that moment. He wanted to see the blush that was probably coloring his high cheekbones. Mainly, Steve wanted to see if Bucky wanted this as much as he did.

"Steve?" Bucky whispered, breaking the silence. Making it real.

Steve's heart stuttered, "Yes?"

Bucky moved his head, brushing his nose along Steve's again while his thumb gently stroked over Steve's jaw, "Can I kiss you?"

A smile tugged at Steve's lips as he breathlessly confirmed, "Yes."

With that, Bucky delicately tilted Steve's head up a little more and pressed his lips to Steve's. Finding that Bucky's lips were softer than Steve could've imagined and he promptly started melting into the kiss. Not fully believing that this was real, Steve appreciated Bucky squeezing his hand. Almost as though he couldn't believe it either.

Their lips moved together and their hands dropped from one another's. Steve brought his arms up, hanging them around Bucky's neck and he immediately tangled his fingers in Bucky's soft brown hair. Meanwhile, Bucky's hands fell to Steve's waist.

Respectfully, Bucky kept his hands at Steve's hips. Not sliding them down to grope Steve. Not trying to slip them under Steve's shirt. Not doing anything that his parents and teachers had warned him about_ what boys want_.Simply keeping them on Steve's hips. Bucky did, however, give them a fond squeeze when Steve stroked down his neck.

The kiss was like being outdoors on a sunny day as the rays beamed down on his bare skin after being thrown into a swimming hole. It was drawing goats and the garden while his best friend painted his toes. It was waking up early and being surprised with a cup of coffee made just the way he liked it. It was eating crunchy and burnt pizza rolls at three in the morning. It was arriving at the airport and finding the most beautiful boy waiting there.

Bucky's touch warmed Steve straight to his core, and he couldn’t help but melt into the embrace. Bucky's lips were sweeter than Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid, leaving Steve craving him even though their lips were still connected.

Steve realized that he wasn't craving him for now; he was craving him for later. Craving all the kisses that he wouldn't get once he went home. Realizing just how unfortunate life could be sometimes.

This wasn't Steve's first kiss ever. But it was the first kiss that mattered. And Steve knew that it was perfect. It was perfect and he'd remember it forev--"

"Gotcha!" Brock yelled, throwing the shed doors open. Completely startling Bucky and Steve, and causing the large grin to slip right off Brock's face.

<https://www.wattpad.com/779548259-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	46. Forty-Six

**Forty-Six:**

Unsure of what to do, Steve pulled away from Bucky. Both of their faces were flushed and Steve avoided Brock's cold, hard gaze that was leveled on him. Honestly, Steve felt like a kid who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner. _I guess it's because Bucky's so sweet_, Steve internally mused.

"Well," Brock started, his voice visibly tense. Cautiously, Steve peeked up to find Brock's stony expression looking between him and Bucky. Narrowing his eyes on Steve, Brock finished, "Guess you're it, _Stevie_."

Shoulders hunched and worrying his lower lip, Steve sighed and started heading towards the house. Realizing that they were, in fact, the first ones to be found. It was unfair. So unfair. It was Steve's birthday and since he kissed Bucky, he didn't want to play the game anymore.

"Hey," Bucky leaned over, softly speaking into his ear, "I'll take it, if you want."

Steve glanced up at Bucky. Noticing that his naturally red lips were just a little redder than usual, and Steve pressed his own lips together to keep himself from pressing them to Bucky's again. Even though that was all Steve wanted to do.

Averting his gaze, Steve nodded and accepted Bucky's offer, "Okay." Peeking at Bucky again -- like a man addicted -- and shyly smiled, "Thanks."

"No problem," Bucky's sincere grin slowly stretched his lips, sending a chill down Steve's spine like he just realized it had been for him all along.

Steve bit his lip and averted his gaze. Knowing that it was too much. The grin. His lips. How Bucky's brown locks had been disheveled due to _his_ hands. It was more than Steve could've ever imagined happening. When Natasha begged him to go with her to her cousins', Steve would've never imagined this.

Reaching the deck, Steve took a seat on the step and Bucky took a seat beside him. Brock stood in front of them with his arms crossed, just glaring at both of them. Steve shifted uncomfortably in his spot and kept his head ducked, knowing that his face was extremely hot and he was blushing all the way to his ears.

"Shouldn't you, um," Bucky started. Steve peeked at him and found him looking up at Brock, "Shouldn't you be finding, uh, everyone else?"

"I don't know," Brock remarked. It was obvious that Brock was trying to sound playful, but was failing. He just sounded pissed as he continued, "I think I should babysit you two. Ya know, make sure you keep your hands to yourselves."

Steve rolled his eyes and stared down at Bucky's sneakers, wondering if his toes were still painted. Trying his best to avoid looking up at Brock, who was standing directly in front of Steve. Being disgusted that if he sat up straight, he'd be practically face-to-face with Brock's crotch.

"C'mon," Bucky sighed, annoyed. He gestured out to the rest of the yard and said, "If you don't find the others, we can't start the next round."

Brock shifted his weight, "I mean, ya gonna keep your hands to yourself?"

Another annoyed sighed from Bucky, "Dude."

Steve was annoyed too. Not only because his kiss was interrupted. Not just because he wanted to keep kissing Bucky. No. Steve was annoyed because Brock was acting like a misogynistic caveman asshole. And what gave him the right?!

"Why do you even care?" Steve questioned, tilting his head back to look at Brock's face rather than his crotch. With his brows furrowed in his anger, Steve looked over Brock's stern expression and grew angrier, "There is absolutely no reason for you to babysit me. This isn't the 1950s. I'm not a girl. And even if I was, there's no reason for you to be acting like a jealous douchebag."

Brock's brows arched high on his forehead, he blinked as though he was trying to clear his shock. Glancing at Bucky, Steve kept his gaze locked on Brock. Out of his periphery, Steve saw Bucky give a what-did-you-expect shrug. Brock redirected his attention to Steve. Looking like he was going to argue, but ultimately decided against it and started walking around the yard.

Knocking his knee against Steve's, Steve looked over at Bucky and found a blush coloring his cheeks. Steve shyly smirked and tried -- and failed -- not to look at Bucky's lips. Bucky apologized, "I'm sorry about _him_."

"It's okay," Steve reassured, knocking his knee against Bucky's. Another slow smile stretched Bucky's face, causing Steve's stomach to dip, and Steve shrugged, "It's not your thing to apologize for."

Bucky nodded and scooted closer in his seat. Their legs touching, Bucky bashfully kept his gaze on the ground as he confessed, "Would it be pathetic if I asked to kiss you again?"

Pressing his lips together, Steve glanced over to the side where Brock easily found the other people. Steve pushed aside his suspicions of Brock purposely choosing them to find first, and Steve noticed the way that Natasha was giving him a knowing smirk. His cheeks burned and he returned his gaze to Bucky.

Pushing himself up off the deck step, Steve stood, getting ready for the next round. With a playful smirk, Steve quietly teased, "Nah. Maybe if you find me, I'll let you kiss me again."

That slow smile crinkling up to his eyes, Bucky stood as well. Dusting off his shorts, Bucky shoved his hands in his cargo shorts pockets and agreed, "_When_ I find you."

<https://www.wattpad.com/779605892-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	47. Forty-Seven

**Forty-Seven:**

"Ya know," Brock started, next to Steve.

Silently, Steve held his finger up to his lips to remind Brock to be quiet. The pair was up in the playhouse attached to the swing set. And Steve was beyond annoyed. After all, he had chosen that spot by himself, to be by himself. Of course, Brock had spotted Steve climbing up the ladder and had chosen to join him. For whatever reason.

Ignoring Steve's quiet warning, Brock stage whispered, "I'm starting to think that Bucky has a type."

Rolling his eyes, Steve glanced out the window of the playhouse and spotted Bucky on the deck, still counting. Ducking down again, Steve held his finger to his lips again and audibly shushed the arrogant brunet, "Shh."

"Oh, please," Brock scoffed, rolling his eyes. Sitting on the side of the window, Brock leaned his back against the wall and stretched out his legs. He informed, "I could start screaming bloody murder and Bucky would leave me alone."

Steve turned, sitting on the other side of the window. Stretching out his own legs, Steve glanced over at Brock, figuring that he was right. It was obvious that Bucky didn't care much for Brock. But Steve couldn't blame him. Brock was a dick, after all, and he didn't seem to be helping his case any either.

"He'd purposely ignore _us_," Brock continued. Picking at the skin around his thumb, Brock clarified, "He's going to make sure to find you last."

Steve's brows furrowed and he whispered, "Yeah? Why'd he do that?"

With furrowed brows -- with a furrowed face, in general -- Brock looked over at Steve to evaluate him. Steve tried to refrain from squirming, but under Brock's gaze, Steve felt uncomfortable. Once Brock faced the front again, Steve sighed in relief.

Until Brock said, "Because he wants alone time with you."

_Duh_.

Sure, Brock didn't say it, but it was clearly implied.

Steve rolled his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Yup," Brock confirmed. Peeking out the window once Bucky was done counting, Brock declared, "You could be hiding in plain sight and Bucky would _purposely_ overlook you just so you two could be alone again. Because you fit his type."

"And what is Bucky's type exactly?" Steve asked, crossing his arms along his chest. A slight thrill that he was wearing Bucky's sweatshirt.

"Artistic. Petite," Brock answered. Steve snapped his gaze back to the muscular brunet. "I mean, he always does this."

Steve narrowed his eyes, "Does what?"

"_This_," Brock repeated, waving his arms around as though he was encompassing the whole night. He shrugged, "I mean, why did ya think I found you so quickly?"

Clenching his jaw, Steve didn't say anything. If Brock was going to start, he was going to let him finish.

"This is what Bucky does," Brock continued. A smirk forming on his smug face, "Takes a girl to the shed. Cozies up to her. Then, BOOM --" loudly, he clapped his hands, causing Steve to jump "-- or at least, that's what he's done with all the other girls."

Although Brock didn't say it, it was there. Hanging in the air and suffocating Steve. Facing the front, Steve understood what Brock was implying. That _he_ was a girl. That no matter how much Steve had changed and was changing, he would always be seen as a girl.

Steve's throat felt tight, thick. The way that it often did when he was trying not to cry. And Steve wasn't going to cry. Not in front of Brock. Not in front of any of them, but _especially_ not in front of Brock. Steve was positive that if the tears building in his eyes did manage to overflow, it would only make Brock feel right.

And Steve hated him. Brock was just like every other pigheaded guy back home. The guy that had teased Steve to flirt with him because they didn't know how to properly show their emotions. The guy that tagged along on a double date, only to be disappointed when he found Natasha brought Steve. The guy that groped Steve before he started transitioning. The guy that groped Steve once he had started transitioning. The guy that claimed Steve wasn't like all the other girls.

Sitting there, Steve couldn't help but wonder if Brock was right. After all, Steve didn't know Bucky the way Brock did. Steve only knew the early Monday mornings with thick lens glasses Bucky. Steve only knew staying home instead of going to the lake to do some summer reading Bucky. Steve only knew the constantly apologizing Bucky. Steve only knew the respectful Bucky. Only knew the gentle touches Bucky. Only knew the confirming of consent before kissing Bucky.

Sure, Steve might not have known Bucky for years. But Steve knew one thing: Brock didn't know Bucky at all.

"Gotcha!" Bucky exclaimed, popping into the playhouse.

Not expecting him, Brock screamed. Loudly and very high pitched, Steve would add. Startling Steve completely and causing him to accidentally thump his head on the playhouse wall. As Bucky muffled his laughter at Brock's scream, Steve rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head.

Of course, once Bucky realized that Steve was hurt, his expression shifted to one of concern and he ignored Brock to ask Steve, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Steve answered, wincing when he nodded.

Brock got up then. Too tall for the playhouse, he started awkwardly crawling and Steve immediately moved his legs up to his chest so Brock wouldn't crawl over him. Sitting on the top of the slide that was beside Steve, Brock gave Steve a pointed look. Almost as though he was trying to nonverbally remind Steve of what he said. Even though Steve was pretty sure that he'd never be able to forget those words or the insecurity that it stirred up inside of him.

Pushing himself down the slide, Steve cautiously peeked after him to find that just like Brock predicted, they were the last to be found. Conflicting issues were battling in Steve's small frame and he moved to face the front again. Still rubbing the back of his head as Bucky climbed into the playhouse.

Sitting down in front of Steve, Bucky leaned back against the wall. Stretching his legs out, Steve realized just how small the child clubhouse was. Bucky's outstretched legs were long and were beside Steve's, not touching them, just there. His ankles crossed, Bucky's feet rested next to Steve's knees.

"You okay?" Bucky asked again, gently tapping Steve's knee with his foot.

Still rubbing the back of his head, Steve said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Gesturing out of the playhouse, Bucky questioned, "He didn't bother you too much, did he?"

"No," Steve slightly shook his head, "Mainly just talked a lot of shit."

"Yeah," Bucky scoffed, "That sounds like Brock."

Steve smiled to himself, knowing that Bucky wasn't what Brock tried to make him out to be. A bit bashfully, Steve averted his gaze and took the hand that was rubbing his head to tap Bucky's foot. Trying to bite back his grin, Steve softly announced, "You found me."

"Yup," Bucky agreed. Steve expected Bucky to move forward and kiss him. When he didn't, Steve peeked up and was met with Bucky just smiling at him. That slow grin that Steve knew was being tattooed on the inside of his eyelids. Sincerely, Bucky confirmed, "I found you."

<https://www.wattpad.com/779644427-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	48. Forty-Eight

**Forty-Eight:**

"Bucky and Steve," Sam started from the deck. Steve looked up at Bucky, both sitting in the playhouse. Sam -- and everyone else, it sounded like -- continued singing, "Sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

"They're super mature, if you couldn't tell," Bucky deadpanned, causing Steve to softly chuckle.

They were still sitting across from each other. Neither had moved forward to make good on their deal. Neither feeling the need to rush anything. Steve was just trying to memorize everything that he could about Bucky. Especially when they didn't have much summer left.

With a sigh, Steve pushed himself off the side of the wall and clarified, "If we don't get down there, Natasha will come up here."

"Sounds like Nattie," Bucky conceded, pushing off the wall, as well. Stumbling, Bucky nearly smashed his face into the playhouse floor. Thankfully, Steve was there and grabbed his arm to stop him from doing so. Blushing, Bucky regained his balance and shyly smiled up at Steve, "Thanks."

"No problem," Steve quietly reassured. Noticing the sweet way that Bucky was looking at him, Steve bit his own lower lip and bashfully looked down.

Taking Steve's hand from his bicep, Bucky gently squeezed it. A little cautiously, Steve lifted his head to look up Bucky. Their eyes locking for a moment before Bucky's gaze slipped to Steve's mouth. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Bucky wanted to kiss him. Even if Bucky's gaze did quickly redirect to Steve's eyes.

Of course, by that point, Steve was leaning in. Not usually the one to make the first move, Steve's heart was pounding aggressively in his chest. Keeping his gaze on Bucky's lips gave him some courage, and Steve only glanced up once to find Bucky's eyelids were already hooded. That gave Steve that extra nudge to finally close his own eyes and press his lips to Bucky's.

Bucky tenderly squeezed Steve's hand and promptly lifted his other to hold Steve's face. Just like the first time, Steve melted into the kiss. Savoring each kiss as much as possible. Afraid of not getting nearly enough before he had to leave.

And although Steve would've liked to spend the rest of the night kissing Bucky, he reluctantly pulled back. Knowing that if he didn't, Natasha really would go up into that playhouse. Steve really didn't want that to happen. He knew that he'd never hear the end of it as is, but it'd be even worse if she had to pull him out of the clubhouse.

Sitting there, Steve watched Bucky's eyes slowly open. Once their eyes met, Bucky breathlessly said, "Thanks."

Chuckling under his breath, Steve shook his head. Wondering how he could have a crush on such a dork. Wondering what he'd do once he was no longer around such a dork.

Not wanting to miss out on his chance, Steve leaned in and briefly kissed Bucky again. And then Steve teasingly threatened, "If you thank me again, I'm never kissing you again."

Playing along, Bucky pressed his lips together and lifted his hand from Steve's to pretend to zip his lips. Tossing the imaginary key over his shoulder, Bucky simply gazed at Steve. Softly stroking his thumb along Steve's jaw.

"Okay, seriously!" Mandy called, "Come out!"

Bucky sighed and reluctantly dropped his hand from Steve's face. Bucky made his way over to the slide and pushed himself down. Steve took a moment to himself. Just catching his breath the best that he could while everyone else declared that they were going to make a bonfire and eat s'mores.

Sliding out of the playhouse, Steve headed over to the fire pit. As soon as he reached the group, however, Steve immediately regretted it. Especially with all the clapping and wolf whistles. Blushing profusely, Steve ducked his head and took the empty seat between Bucky's and Natasha's.

A lit cigarette hanging from her mouth, Natasha smirked at Steve. As she pulled the cigarette back and exhaled a puff of smoke away from Steve, she approved, "Get it, Stevie."

"Shut up," Steve scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes and bashfully hiding his face in the soft material of the borrowed sweatshirt.

At that, Natasha affectionately ruffled his short blond hair. Peeking over at her, Steve felt a little more relieved when Natasha winked at him. Forever thankful to have her in his life. Fully aware that as soon as they went back inside, he intended on telling her everything.

"How do you like your marshmallows, Steve?" Bucky softly asked from his other side.

"Your boy's talking to ya," Natasha teased, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Swatting her, Steve chuckled and pulled away, finding Bucky holding a roasting fork with a marshmallow on each prong. Steve smiled and declared, "I like 'em burnt."

"No one likes burnt marshmallows," Brock mocked while Mandy good-naturedly joked, "Yeah, ya nasty!"

"What-the-fuck-ever," Natasha scoffed, stubbing out her cigarette as Sharon approached, handing out bars of chocolate and sleeves of graham crackers.

"Exactly," Sharon agreed, smiling at Natasha before winking at Steve, "The crispier the better."

Natasha propped her head on her hand on the chair's armrest. Wistfully, Natasha sighed, "Where have you been all my life."

A wide grin spread across Sharon's face at Natasha's comment before she headed back over to the other side where her seat was between Brock's and Carol's. Steve watched her for a moment. Noting that the grin didn't leave Sharon's face. Not until Brock wrapped his arm around Sharon's shoulders and harshly pulled her into him.

<https://www.wattpad.com/779940942-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	49. Forty-Nine

**Forty-Nine:**

Once the teens started yawning and growing tired, they decided that the party was officially over. Their parents and the other adults had already been long gone or asleep by then, and so were their younger siblings. So, when it started approaching two in the morning, they all decided to call it a night.

Mandy and Becca were the first to enter the house, both yawning. Which caused Sam to yawn as he made sure that the bonfire was properly and officially out for good. Hand-in-hand, Hildy and Carol made their way to Carol's 2011 beige Toyota Corolla, giving Clint a ride back to his house as well.

Steve awkwardly stood by the back door. Wondering if he should be helping clean up, but there wasn't anything left to clean up. Of course, Steve was really loitering around the back door because he wanted to be around Bucky. Wondering if he should say something. Or do something.

After all, Steve hadn't been on many dates, so he wasn't sure what to do. He was especially clueless with him not being dropped off at his house, but instead staying in his date's house. What was the protocol for that? Was there a protocol?

"It was nice meeting you," Evan announced, snapping Steve out of his thoughts.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Steve agreed. Blinking away his own concerns and smiling at the younger teen. Spotting the red on his shoulders and nose, Steve reminded, "Put some aloe on your burns."

"Will do," Evan returned the smile and awkwardly waved and took the shortcut through the house to make his way towards Brock's Bronco. Steve watched as he moved in the dimly lit house and wondered if he should sneak away to the guestroom.

"I know you're not going to," Brock started from beside Steve, startling Steve. Brock's lips quirked up, amused even though his eyes seemed cold as he continued, "You should heed the warning though."

Steve rolled his eyes, ready to argue with him. However, the words stopped and dissolved on his tongue when Brock softly conceded, "You're too pretty to cry over a guy like Barnes."

Clenching his jaw, Steve watched as Brock arrogantly walked through the house. Narrowing his eyes he made sure that Brock didn't do anything else to sour the night. Considering everything that he had said to Steve alone, Steve couldn't fathom how Sam and Clint could be friends with such an awful person. Not to mention how Sharon could date the dude.

Speaking of Sharon. Sweetly, she grinned at Steve, "Have a nice night, Steve."

"You too," Steve returned the wish. After all, speak it into existence and all that jazz. And although Steve hadn't spent a lot of time around Sharon, he could tell that she deserved a whole hell of a lot more than what she was currently getting. Even if Natasha didn't have a crush on her, Steve would still feel the same.

Thinking about how insufferable Brock was, Steve called after Sharon, "Hey, uh --" Sharon paused in the living room, turning back to face him with a quirked brow "-- If he annoys ya too much, I'll make sure to drag him on the volleyball court."

A wide grin stretched across her face and she giggled, "I'll keep that in mind."

Steve nodded, the smile staying on his face as he waved after her. Natasha joined him at the French doors and whispered in his ear, "You're not trying to steal my girl, are ya?"

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and nudged Natasha's ribs with his elbow. He looked over his best friend. Her red roots were growing out and her gray bob looked more white in its fading. Steve rested his head on her shoulder and reassured her, "Just trying to plant the seed that she deserves better."

"Better is me, right?" Natasha asked, resting her cheek on the top of Steve's head.

"Duh," Steve deadpanned, earning a giggle from Natasha and a poke to his side, causing him to squirm.

"Gotta say, Rogers," Natasha started, pressing a kiss to his hair and leaving her lips there as she continued, "You're the best wingman anyone could ask for."

Steve smirked and wrapped his arm around Natasha's waist. When Steve got tired, he got cuddly. He propped his chin on Natasha's shoulder as he confirmed, "You're the best wingwoman anyone could ask."

"I mean, obvi," Natasha teased, "All I had to do was have a hot cousin."

"Oh my god," Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes and pulling away.

Natasha playfully pouted and quickly wrapped her arms tightly around Steve's slender frame. Steve shook his head and stretched his arms above his head, mentally noting that Bucky's sweatshirt was big on him; the sleeves covering his hands and reaching his fingers.

Steve wasn't the only one who got cuddly when they were sleepy. Natasha tucked into Steve. Resting her head on his shoulder and relaxing in Steve's grasp. It was easy for Steve, himself, to relax in the moment. Even if he knew that he needed to talk to her about her _hot cousin_.

"I don't know about you," Sam started, crossing the deck to where Steve and Natasha were. Noticing that the pair was hugging, a large grin crossed his face as he lifted his arms, silently questioning if he could join. Knowing that Steve wasn't comfortable with a lot of touches, Natasha let him decide.

Steve liked Sam though, so he lifted his arm, letting Sam join them. Pleasantly surprised, Sam eagerly approached. Wrapping his muscular arms around each of them, pulling the pair into his strong, broad frame. It was odd, for Steve. He had never imagined feeling so at home with people he just met. But there he was. Feeling right at home and already feeling homesick.

"Got room for one more?" Bucky's soothing voice softly questioned from behind Steve.

Steve turned his head to look over his shoulder with a smile on his face. Opening up, just a bit more, Steve made room for Bucky. A smile was slowly stretching across Bucky's face, and Steve knew that there'd always be room for him. No matter what.

A bit cautiously, Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve's waist. Making sure not to hold him too tight and making sure not to disturb Natasha's arm either. Steve could feel his heart racing in his chest and wondered if Bucky could feel it too. Wondered if Bucky knew that he was the reason behind it.

<https://www.wattpad.com/780040507-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	50. Fifty

**Fifty:**

Walking into the house, Steve lagged a little. Intentionally trying to get a moment alone with Bucky. And Steve suspected that both Natasha and Sam knew. Natasha walked just a little bit faster to the guestroom and Sam started flipping lights off on his way to his shared room with Bucky. All Steve could do was blink as he watched them head off in separate directions.

Soon enough, the pair was left by themselves, and suddenly Steve didn't know what to do.

"So," Bucky started, causing Steve to let out a little sigh of relief. Bucky shoved his hands into his shorts pockets and bashfully glanced at the floor as he suggested, "There's, uh, this… thing…"

Steve's brows were furrowed and he smirked, "What kind of… thing?"

"A movie marathon," Bucky answered, peeking up at Steve.

Chuckling, Steve asked, "You know that you already asked me to that right?"

"No," Bucky shook his head. Chuckling, himself, Bucky clarified, "Slasher Sunday. It's at midnight and they play the classics."

"Of course, they do," Steve teased. Thrilling at the way that Bucky's cheeks blushed. Mainly thrilling at the knowledge that Steve had an effect on him.

With his cheeks still red, Bucky continued, "This weekend is the _Nightmare on Elm Street_ series." Then, a bit remorsefully, Bucky added, "But it's totally okay, if you don't want to."

Trying not to answer too quickly, Steve didn't want to seem too eager. Out of all the teen magazines and the romcoms that he'd been absorbing over the years of his short life, Steve knew one thing: being eager scared boys off. Even though Steve wanted nothing more than to readily agree to spend all the time in the world with Bucky, he held back. Trying to play it cool.

"We don't have to watch those, if you don't want to," Bucky rushed, raking his hand through his tousled brown hair that was starting to curl in the humidity. Rambling now, Bucky continued, "Although we could still watch movies. Movies are always best, I think. I mean, it's quiet and then you have something to talk about after instead of trying to think of something. And there's, there's cuddling, and --"

"Buck," Steve interrupted, giving him an amused quirk of his brow and lips. Bucky immediately shut his mouth, pressing his lips tightly to keep himself from talking while a blush flamed his face and ears. Steve's grin just grew as he accepted, "I think Slasher Sunday is a fine idea."

Then, before Steve can overthink the situation and his decision, he stood on his tip toes and pressed a sweet kiss to Bucky's cheek. Noticing the way Bucky's smile slowly stretched across his face, Steve moved back to placing his feet flat on the ground and turned on his heels. Wanting to look over his shoulder, but refraining from doing so as he walked down the short hallway to the guestroom.

As soon as he closed the door behind himself, he leaned against the door, trying to catch his breath. Lightheaded from the adrenaline, Steve pushed a shaky hand through his floppy blond hair. He needed to calm down. He needed to get a better grip on his heart. They only had two weeks left.

With a clay mask on her face, Natasha exited the ensuite and held out a jar of the smooth mask to Steve in a silent offer. Steve nodded and pushed himself off the door. Crossing the area, he passed Natasha and splashed his face with water first. Just needing to calm down a bit.

"So," Natasha started, setting the jar on the counter, "I take it, it went well."

Trying to fool Natasha as much as he was trying to fool himself, Steve rolled his eyes, "We're going to watch movies."

"Ooh," Natasha playfully cooed, holding out a thick headband for Steve.

"Don't even start," Steve chuckled, slipping the headband on and pushing it back up his forehead to get his hair out of his face. Lying to himself, "It's exactly like every other Monday, except on Saturday."

Playfully, Natasha wiggled her brows as she gleefully teased, "Saturday is date night, babe."

Steve started applying the mask to his face and paused to inform Natasha, "You're insufferable."

"Don't get mad at me for pointing out facts," Natasha held her hands up in mock surrender before poking Steve's side.

"It's not a big deal," Steve attempted again.

"It's not a big deal," Natasha mocked, rolling her eyes.

With the goo only applied to half of his face, Steve paused and chewed on the inside of his cheek as he admitted, "It's not. It's just a…" Steve paused trying to find the right word, but only being brought back to how Bucky had described the movie night, "Thing."

"You can call it what you want, but he likes you," Natasha softly insisted. Somehow always knowing how Steve was feeling and knowing exactly how to help him. Then, Natasha made her own confession, "Not just in an oh-you're-around-so-I-might-as-well type of way. But the something-more type of way. Something real."

Steve stood there for a minute. He wanted to believe Natasha. He wanted to trust her and see what she had seen. But his own insecurity and Brock's words wouldn't let him be happy. In his vulnerability, Steve quietly questioned, "Yeah, but does he like me for me? Or does he like me because I was born as a girl?"

"Stevie, I hate to break it to you. But you were never a girl," Natasha reassured. Her tone kind and nurturing. She leaned on the counter, crossing her arms along her chest. Giving a little shrug, "You might've been born with female presenting genitalia, but you were never a girl. From the day we met, I could tell."

Rolling his eyes, Steve scoffed, "We were eight, Nat."

"Yeah, and I was already crushing on other girls," a smile curling the corners of her lips as she nudged him, "But I never had a crush on you. I think my soul knew you were a boy before my eyes did. Knew before even you did."

Shaking his head, Steve went back to caking the mask back onto his face so it wouldn't be too uneven. Making faces to get it into the crevices, Steve reasoned, "You're only saying this because you're my best friend."

"No," Natasha harshly shook her own head. She strictly clarified, "I _get_ to say this because I'm your best friend. But it doesn't make it any less true. Just like how it doesn't make Bucky's feelings for you any less true."

Looking down at his hands, he tried not to think about how much they still looked feminine to himself. A bit bitterly, Steve informed, "He's only ever dated girls."

"So? I used to only date boys and talk about dating boys. Didn't mean that I didn't like girls," Natasha explained.

Steve was glad that he had her. He was lucky to have a best friend who understood and accepted him. A best friend who could explain away his insecurity and correct him.

Smirking, Steve asked, "When did you get so smart?"

Playfully Natasha shrugged and teased, "Must run in the family."

Not knowing if she meant his family or the Barnes, but not caring. Steve wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Letting the hope in his heart grow as she reciprocated the hug.

<https://www.wattpad.com/780971601-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	51. Fifty-One

**Fifty-One:**

Two days felt like two weeks. It was ridiculous. Steve was practically a human skin-suit operated by butterflies by the time that Saturday had rolled around. He had been so racked with nerves that when Bucky even managed a smile his way, he felt like he was going to collapse into a puddle of goo on the floor.

Of course, it didn't help that Natasha and Sam kept exchanging knowing glances with each other. Or the fact that every time that Bucky and Steve looked at each other, a deep blush colored their cheeks. A couple of times, the blush even reached the tips of Steve's ears and stretched down his neck.

"If you keep stressing, you're not going to have any fun," Natasha warned Steve from the bed.

Steve was trying to get his floppy hair to lay the way that he wanted it to lay. However, he had made the stupid decision to let Natasha trim it earlier and now it wasn't cooperating. No matter how good of a job Natasha did, his hair was stubborn.

"You should be excited," Natasha called, not moving from her spot. "Worrying is bad for your skin."

Rolling his eyes, Steve left the ensuite and crossed his arms. Natasha was on her phone, not paying attention to Steve at all. Steve jokingly questioned, "Do you hear yourself when you speak?"

"Yup," Natasha confirmed, keeping her attention on her phone, "That's why I talk so much. I have a damn sexy voice."

"Right," Steve scoffed, standing there in the doorway, worrying his lip with his teeth. Glancing down at himself, wondering if he should change. After all, he had been wearing the sky blue tee and tan cargo shorts all day. But would it be too obvious if he did change. Sure, Steve had been wearing the clothes all day, but he hadn't done anything to warrant a change. _It would make it so much easier if we weren't practically living together_.

"Seriously, bruh, you need to stop," Natasha declared, setting her phone down and sitting up from the mounds of pillows that she had been relaxing on.

"Stop what?" Steve asked, guiltily avoiding Natasha's gaze.

Natasha sighed and patted the bed. When Steve didn't move to join her, Natasha patted the bed again, a bit more aggressively, and Steve caved. Plopping down on the comfy bed, Steve laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. It was calming enough being by Natasha, but he could feel the stress start seeping out of his body when Natasha started running her fingers through his hair.

"Just --" Natasha paused, searching for her words "-- have fun."

"A novel concept there," Steve deadpanned.

"Suck my dick," Natasha retorted in the same tone, still fluffing Steve's hair. "You know what I mean though. Bucky likes you, so there's no reason to make yourself sick with worry."

Hearing that Bucky liked him caused Steve's stomach to flip. _Damn butterflies_. Steve kept his gaze on the ceiling and blindly moved his hand in search of Natasha's phone. Once his hands touched the black silicone bat case, Steve grasped the phone and picked it up. Checking the time, Steve's heart raced. Realizing that it was almost time for Slasher Sunday, Steve forced himself up and off the bed.

Crossing the room, Steve was about to leave when he had second thoughts and turned back. Quickly heading back over to Natasha, he puffed out his chest a bit and demanded, "Smell check?"

Natasha moved to her knees on the bed and leaned forward to sniff at Steve. Inhaling deeply as she did so. Then, she flopped back on the bed and confirmed, "You're fine."

"Good," Steve nodded, exhaling a puff of air. Pushing his hand through his floppy hair, Steve nodded again and repeated, "Good."

"Just keep repeating, 'Bucky likes me,'" Natasha encouraged.

"Right," Steve agreed, trying to put that to memory. Almost as though it would click and relax his anxious body.

Then, before he could really regret his decision, Steve hurried to cross the room and exit. Closing the door, Steve found the lights out in the living room and smelled freshly popped popcorn. Which didn't necessarily ease him either. Luckily though, Steve had remembered to bring his black licorice.

With the licorice acting like a security blanket, Steve walked around the short dividing wall and entered the living room. Which happened to be the exact time that Bucky entered as well with a large bowl of popcorn. Momentarily, both boys paused in their respective entryways and bashfully smiled at each other before heading over to the comfy lime-green sofa.

Steve took his normal seat in the middle cushion and waited for Bucky to take his spot beside him. The way they usually sat during their Monster Movie Monday mornings. However, Bucky didn't take his seat, yet.

Bucky set the popcorn on the coffee table and clarified, "Pizza rolls."

"Do you need help?" Steve hesitated on the couch.

"No," Bucky reassured with a large smile, "I got it. Thanks though."

Steve nodded and decided to get comfortable in his seat. Leaning forward, Steve pulled a cozy pink fleece blanket from under the coffee table and shook it out. As he started laying the blanket over his legs, Bucky returned with a tray topped with a large bowl of pizza rolls and two glasses of lemonade.

"Wow," Steve commented looking over the snacks.

"I, uh," Bucky started, taking his seat, "Wasn't sure what snacks you'd want."

"I'm all set," Steve reassured and held up his half-eaten pack of black licorice. Bucky nodded and quickly averted his gaze. Wanting Bucky to know that he appreciated everything, Steve softly stated, "Thanks."

Blushing, Bucky smiled, "No problem."

The longer Steve looked at Bucky, the darker Bucky's blush grew. Steve was sure that it matched his own red cheeks and although he didn't want to, he still averted his gaze. Glancing down at the small gap between their bodies and wondering if he should press in just a little closer.

Before Steve could weigh the pros and cons about moving closer, Darlene and Winifred left their bedroom to join Steve and Bucky.

<https://www.wattpad.com/781067695-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	52. Fifty-Three

**Fifty-Two:**

As the women joined the pair, sitting down in the large burnt orange armchair, Steve could feel his body tense. After all, Steve had assumed that this was a date. Wasn't it a date? It had to be, right? RIGHT?! Bucky did ask him after they kissed. That had to mean something, yeah?

_Oh god_, Steve couldn't help but wonder, _this isn't a date, is it?_

"Ooh, popcorn!" Darlene exclaimed, grabbing the large bowl of popcorn from the coffee table and tucked her muscular legs under herself.

Bucky turned the TV on and flipped to the correct channel. Setting the remote down, Bucky shifted in his seat. Moving just slightly away from Steve as the 1984 Wes Craven classic started playing. And Steve couldn't help but mourn the night that he had envisioned.

Especially the way that Bucky tensed beside him.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Steve wondered if he should just go back to the guestroom. Not being that big of a classic horror fan, Steve had only agreed because of Bucky. He thought that they could spend some more time together. Mainly, clinging to Bucky's rambling of possibly cuddling.

_What could've been, I suppose._

Steve's gaze dropped to his lap, where his hands were resting. Wishing that Bucky would reach over and take his hand. That he'd tenderly rub those soft circles into the back of his hand that he had done in the rare occasions that actually held hands. Now Steve wasn't sure Bucky would hold his hand.

"You know what," Winifred started.

Tearing his gaze away from his hands, Steve looked over at Aunt Winnie and Aunt D. Darlene shoving popcorn into her mouth tore her gaze from the TV and looked over at her wife.

"I'm pretty tired," Winifred declared. Giving Darlene a pointed look, Winifred silently portrayed something to Darlene. Raising her eyebrows high on her forehead, to try and get her point across to her wife who's own brows were furrowed. Winifred repeated, "I'm tired."

Darlene gestured towards the TV and weakly argued, "But… the movie…"

Winifred closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The same way that Sarah did when she was trying not to lose her patience. Steve wondered if he should be looking at them at all. So, he turned his gaze back to the TV.

"You know, you're right," Darlene suddenly agreed. Placing the bowl of popcorn back on the artistic, unique shaped coffee table, and stood up. Fixing her neon pink shorts that popped against her dark skin, she added, "We own these anyway. I can watch them later."

Steve looked up at the women then and blushed when they both smiled at him. Winifred's usually hidden hoop piercing peeking out as she winked at Steve; causing his blush to spread down his neck. Darlene playfully swatted her wife and grabbed her hand, leading her around the short dividing wall.

On the way to their room, Darlene called out, "Remember to turn the TV off when you're done."

"I always do," Bucky replied.

"That's right," Darlene teased, "It's your mom that always forgets."

At that, Winifred playfully swatted Darlene's bum and pulled her wife into her body when she squealed. Both staying close as they slightly waddled into their bedroom. Steve couldn't help but smile as he thought of his own parents. He realized just how lucky he was to have good, loving, lasting relationships to look up to in his life.

"Sorry about them," Bucky quietly said, leaning over to speak into Steve's ear.

"It's okay," Steve reassured, turning his head to find Bucky's face right there.

Immediately, Steve's eyes landed on Bucky's naturally red lips. Almost like they were magnetic, Steve could practically feel the pull on his own lips. Bringing his gaze back to Bucky's, Steve didn't have to wonder if Bucky felt the same. Bucky's eyes were trained on Steve's own lips.

Heart racing, Steve made the first move. Just slightly leaning closer. Allowing Bucky to make the final decision and close the distance. Never wanting Bucky to feel like he _had_ to close the space. Always wanting Bucky to enthusiastically choose to kiss him.

Thankfully, it happened to be the exact thing that Bucky chose to do. Closing the miniscule distance between them, Bucky tenderly pressed his lips to Steve's. Almost instantly, Steve couldn't help but melt into the kiss. Wondering if Steve would always feel like that when he was around Bucky. Hoping that he would.

Attempting to kiss the melancholy from the air around them, Steve brought his hand up to tangle his fingers in the soft brown tresses. Deepening the kiss, Bucky respectfully placed his hand on Steve's waist. Not moving it anywhere that Steve hadn't permitted; and causing Steve to melt even further.

Knowing that he was already in too deep, Steve tried to savor the moment for as long as possible. Feeling absolutely dizzy with Bucky's lips against his and wanting nothing more than to remember the way they felt. Just a bit chapped, but tasting sweet from the lemonade. Being ultimately, the best lips that Steve had ever had the privilege to kiss.

Pulling back to catch his breath, Steve kept his eyes closed and adored the way that Bucky rested his forehead against his. Steve breathlessly teased, "I thought we were supposed to be watching movies."

"I think I'd rather kiss you instead," Bucky rasped. Steve's knees grew weak at the husky tone because he was the reason behind it.

It was positively intoxicating and Steve didn't hesitate as he pressed his lips to Bucky's again. Wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of his summer drowning in Bucky's affection. Wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of his life drowning in Bucky's affection.

<https://www.wattpad.com/782221910-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	53. Fifty-Three

**Fifty-Three:**

After the night that Steve spent with Bucky, he couldn't wait to wake up and get to spend even more time with him. Vaguely wondering if the butterflies fluttering in his stomach while he got around for the day would ever go away. A small part of him hoped that they never would.

As they brushed their teeth side-by-side in the ensuite, Natasha was watching Steve's reflection. Her eyes narrowing once he finished and smiled at himself. Especially once Steve happily shrugged his shoulders up and nearly skipped out of the bathroom.

"I take it your night went well," Natasha smirked, quirking a brow up as she leaned against the doorframe.

"It did," Steve agreed, thinking about how he spent almost two hours making out with Bucky.

Crossing the room, Natasha playfully poked Steve's blushing, freckled cheek. Steve sighed in his annoyance and Natasha wrapped her arms around his frame. Excitedly, her eyes lit up as she shook him, "We're going to be actually, legitimately related!"

"Shh," Steve shushed her and rolled his eyes as he pulled out of her grasp. Even though the butterflies in his stomach said differently, Steve reasoned with his best friend, "We're not even dating."

"Uh huh," Natasha dramatically rolled her eyes as she repositioned her lilac and baby blue crop top before smoothing her hands over her black jean short overalls. Over the front was a white skeletal system, starting with the ribs and ending with the pelvis. Rolling the shorts so they were just a little shorter, Natasha deadpanned, "Keep telling yourself that, sweetie."

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed to pull on a pair of socks. And although Steve was going to play it off as nothing more than a fling, it had nothing to do with what he actually wanted. It had everything to do with keeping his heart from breaking.

Finally exiting the guestroom, they were surprised to find the house to be empty and silent. Well, except for Bucky, who was sitting at the table, quietly eating a bowl of cereal.

"Welcome to the _Twilight Zone_?" Natasha whispered directly into Steve's ear. Poking Steve's side, he squirmed out into the hallway and Natasha announced their presence by loudly asking Bucky, "Where is everyone?"

Bucky leaned back in his seat and quickly chewed his mouth of cereal. Swallowing, he replied, "County Fair."

"Yeah?" Natasha entered the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, "Why aren't you there?"

"Figured you'd wanna ride with me rather than Brock," Bucky clarified, shoveling another large spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

Natasha tapped her temple and confirmed, "You're a smart cookie."

Bucky blushed at that, but a smirk was on his face. Especially once his gaze landed on Steve. With his blush darkening, Bucky turned back around to face the windows as he finished his breakfast.

As Steve headed over to the cereal pantry, he spotted the usual mint green ceramic bowl with the gold interior and the tiny pink flowers. His heart sung a little at the kind gesture. Sure, it was a simple gesture, but it made Steve already miss it for when Bucky won't be there to set a bowl out for him.

Shaking his head to get the negativity out of his mind, Steve grabbed the Trix and helped himself to it. Before he could even cross the room for the milk, Natasha handed it to him and joined him at the counter. Wiggling her eyebrows theatrically in the process and causing Steve to playfully roll his eyes in silent reply.

Carrying his breakfast over to the table, Steve slid in to the booth in front of Bucky. Sheepishly keeping his gaze on the table, Steve spotted a thick novel opened on the table and curiously questioned, "What cha readin'?"

"Oh, um," Bucky started, bashfully glancing at Steve. Redirecting his gaze to the old, weathered paperback, Bucky admitted, "Stephen King."

"Yeah?" Steve asked, smirking. Hesitantly, Steve reached across the table to pick up the novel that laid open, flat on the table. Without losing Bucky's spot, Steve noticed there were underlined sections and he read aloud, "'_But below the tumble of his chaotic thoughts, below the triphammer beat of his heart, he could hear the soft and futile sound of the doorknob being turned to and fro as something locked in tried helplessly to get out, something that wanted to meet him, something that would like to be introduced to his family_…'"

Blushing, Bucky scoffed, "He has a way with words, huh?"

"I guess so," Steve agreed, placing the book back in its place in front of Bucky. Placing his finger in his spot, Steve flipped to the front cover to see _The Shining_.

"God, I love that movie," Natasha exaggerated as she took the seat next to Steve on the booth seat.

"Who doesn't?" Bucky scoffed and brought his bowl up to his mouth to drink the milk. Once done, he lowered the bowl, revealing a milk mustache.

Smiling, Steve averted his gaze to his own bowl of cereal. Trying to keep his laughter back as he started shoveling the sugary cereal into his own mouth. With Steve's laughter being contagious, Bucky chuckled, "What?"

Beaming up at Bucky, Steve gestured to his mouth and watched as Bucky's cheeks flamed. Picking up a napkin, Bucky wiped the milk-stache from his upper lip, and Steve playfully reassured, "Don't worry, it was cute."

Of course, that only made Bucky's blush darken. Underneath the table, Steve felt Bucky's foot purposely brush against his, causing his own cheeks to redden. Trying to keep his grin in check, Steve rushed to finish his cereal. Wondering what the County Fair had in store for them.

<https://www.wattpad.com/782477717-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	54. Fifty-Four

**Fifty-Four:**

In the garage, Natasha shoved Steve towards the passenger seat and climbed into the back before Steve could argue. Not that he would. Internally, he thrilled at the prospect of sitting in the front seat of the white 2017 VW Jetta beside Bucky. Sure, it wasn't going to be as cozy as Brock's Bronco's bench seats, but this would do just fine.

As Bucky started backing out of the garage, Steve wondered if he would take his hand. His hand practically itched for the contact. Already accustomed to Bucky's tender gestures and not willing to go without them. Steve wasn't often selfish, but when it came to Bucky, he wanted to be the center of his affection.

Not sure if Bucky would take his hand, Steve placed his arm in the middle console. Attempting to appear as nonchalant as possible, but finding it difficult to not fidget with his clothes or his body in general. Tapping his foot too fast for the pop beat streaming through the speakers. Tugging at his shorts. Pushing his floppy blond hair away from his face.

They weren't even out of the driveway yet, and Steve was losing his mind. Craving Bucky's touch and worrying that he wouldn't get even a hand hold. How the hell was Steve supposed to last the rest of his --

Tenderly, Bucky squeezed Steve's hand. Such a simple touch and Steve eased in his seat while they drove down the road. Letting all the anxiousness seep from his frame as Bucky laced their fingers together.

Steve had a strong urge to turn back to see if Natasha was seeing this. However, he refrained. Of course, Natasha was seeing this. Natasha saw everything.

Another squeeze to his hand, Steve glanced over at Bucky. That slow grin that Steve adored stretched across Bucky's face, causing Steve's heart to stutter. There wasn't anywhere that Steve wanted to be in that moment. So, he tried to cherish it as much as he could.

Maybe that was why the car ride went by quicker than Steve expected. The trip down the mountain seeming to be gone in the blink of an eye, as well as the quick trip through the town. Soon enough, Bucky was pulling into the fairgrounds.

Stopped in line behind two other cars, Steve's anxiety started to build. Wondering if the person at the ticket booth would be open minded. It was always a tossup when it came to strangers and Steve feared that they wouldn't be. Sure, Steve thought that he passed. But beyond that, Steve was a boy and Bucky was holding his hand.

Reaching up from the backseat, Natasha gave Steve's bicep a reassuring squeeze. Gaining Bucky's attention in the process, he looked over at Steve with his brows arched in silent question. Steve mutely shook his head and gestured for Bucky to move up in the line.

"Ya gonna win me a prize, Stevie?" Natasha teased, keeping her hand on Steve's bicep and resting her chin on the passenger seat.

"Please," Steve scoffed, his voice shaky. Clearing his throat, he continued, "If it pisses off Brock, of course."

Bucky grinned at that and squeezed his hand while he pulled up to the window. Before Bucky could greet the person, a cheery high-pitched voice greeted, "Jimmy!"

Steve exchanged a glance with Natasha as they both mouthed, "Jimmy?"

"Hey, Amanda," Bucky blushed. Squeezing Steve's hand, Bucky asked the woman, "Did my mom leave a parking pass for us?"

"She sure did, sweetie," Amanda answered and reached under her counter to grab the parking pass. As she searched for it, she babbled, "You just missed Sharon, by the way. Did you know that she's still dating that doorknob?"

Natasha perked at that and she ducked her head to get a look of the woman in the booth. Weakly slapping Bucky's arm with the back of her fingers, she arched her brows in silent question. Bucky rolled his eyes and clarified, "Sharon's mom."

"Oh," Natasha smirked. Teasing, she nudged Bucky and whispered, "Ya gonna introduce me to my future mother-in-law, or nah?"

"-- I mean, how many times can the girl cry herself to sleep before -- Oh! Here they are!" Amanda stood upright again and passed over a large bright blue ticket that stated: _VIP Parking_.

"Thanks," Bucky smiled and placed the pass in the corner of the windshield.

"Sure thing, honey," Amanda waved off and leaned down to wave at Natasha and Steve. Both teens waved back in reply and Amanda playfully demanded, "Y'all have fun now, ya hear?"

Bucky's blush darkened and he sheepishly explained, "You don't have to worry about that."

At that, Amanda happily patted the top of the car, signaling that Bucky was free to enter the fairground. So, Bucky cautiously drove forward and another vehicle took his place. Steve was surprised to find that most of the parking area was filled up.

Giving Steve's hand a squeeze, Bucky let go of Steve's hand and used both hands to maneuver the Jetta to a side parking lot that had a sign declaring: _VIP Parking_. Pulling into the area, Bucky parked next to Brock's Bronco. Making Steve's stomach churn just a little and causing him to hesitate from climbing out of the car just yet.

It had been a couple of days since Steve had seen Brock, but his words still plagued his mind. Of course, it wasn't something unusual to Steve. Brock hadn't been the only one to implore Steve's insecurities and imply that no matter what Steve did he would always be --

The back passenger door harshly closed, snapping Steve out of his thoughts and causing him to involuntarily jerk at the sudden sound. Bucky cautiously took Steve's hand in his and softly questioned, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Steve quickly reassured. Noticing Bucky's furrowed brows, Steve leaned forward and kissed his cheek, "I'm fine." For a moment, it looked as though Bucky would dig a little deeper. Steve didn't give him a chance though as he excitedly encouraged, "Let's go!"

<https://www.wattpad.com/782885280-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	55. Fifty-Five

**Fifty-Five:**

Entering the fair, Bucky led the way over to the ticket booth. Steve kept his hands in his pockets and Natasha wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Pulling him close while they waited in the ticket line. Taking the spot beside Bucky, Steve looked up at the handsome brunet and was relieved when Bucky smiled down at him. Even happier when Bucky winked down at him.

Biting back his own grin, Steve averted his gaze and moved up in the line when it was time to. Wondering if Bucky would sling his arm around his shoulders if Natasha wasn't already laying her claim. Steve hoped that he would.

Moving up to the ticket booth window, Steve spotted a tall, beefy redhead who greeted Bucky, "Barnes!"

"Carter!" Bucky replied with a large smile. Leaning against the counter, Bucky peered inside the booth and questioned, "I thought you had plans."

"Mom asked me to help out," the older Carter son answered with a shrug. Reaching over, he grabbed an envelope marked with _Barnes_ on it and opened it to remove three bright blue wristbands. Bucky extended his wrist and the older boy secured the wristband on him while continuing, "I mean, you know how it is.

"When Mom asks for something, you do it," the redhead paused and gestured for Steve to move forward. So, he moved out from under Natasha's arm and extended his arm the way that Bucky did. As the older boy secured the bright blue wristband, he continued, "I mean, she did give birth to us."

"Is Evan working too?" Bucky asked conversationally, while holding his hand out to Steve once the redhead was done. Steve's heart thrilled and he eagerly took Bucky's hand, fully content as Bucky laced their fingers together.

"Yeah, he's at the petting zoo with --" the boy paused, looking at Natasha.

_Uh oh_, Steve couldn't help but think. Usually when boys looked at Natasha, it was never good. Mainly, it never ended well for _them_. Steve hoped that nothing would happen. All he wanted was a nice, quiet day at the fair without any drama.

"So, you're Natasha," the boy smirked. Double _uh oh_.

"I am," Natasha took her extended arm back and questioned, "And who might you be?"

"Dylan," the redhead answered while Bucky clarified, "The eldest Carter."

"_Eldest_?" Dylan, Natasha, _and_ Steve all looked over at Bucky.

Bucky held his left hand up in mock surrender while he teased, "Okay, let's not all gang up on the nerd."

Steve playfully rolled his eyes and gave Bucky's hand a squeeze. Natasha turned her attention back to Dylan and extended her arm into the booth. As Dylan secured the bright blue wristband around her slender wrist, Natasha distastefully questioned, "So, Brock's mentioned me."

"No," Dylan confirmed with a knowing smirk, "Not that doorknob."

Natasha quirked her brow at that. Pulling her wrist back, she smirked and pointed at Dylan, "I like you."

Dylan simply chuckled at that, and Steve tugged at Natasha's arm to move her out of the way so the next group of people could get their tickets and wristbands. As they started walking further into the County Fair, Natasha grabbed onto Steve's arm and giddily whispered, "She talks about me."

Silently, Steve held up the hand that wasn't holding Bucky's and excitedly crossed his fingers. Then, Steve tugged at Bucky's hand, gaining his attention. Bucky quirked a brow and Steve held up his other hand to show that his fingers were crossed.

Bucky's brows furrowed and Steve stood on his tiptoes to quietly inform, "Good luck for Natasha's future marriage to Sharon."

That slow grin stretched across his handsome face and Bucky raised his left hand to cross his fingers, "I want nothing but happiness for my favorite cousin."

"I'm only your favorite cousin because I brought my hot best friend along for the summer," Natasha absently accused.

Steve scoffed, scandalized. He looked over at his best friend to find her gazing at the game booths. All the while, Bucky shrugged and agreed, "You're not wrong."

At that, Steve looked up at Bucky. Finding comfort that he wasn't the only one blushing as Bucky's cheeks flamed a deep red. Steve's brows were arched high on his forehead and he kept trying to make sense of what happened as a smile fought to cross his face. Bucky, the hottest guy that Steve had ever seen, thought that _he_ was hot?

It just seemed too good to be true.

Bucky worried his lower lip with his teeth as he softly asked, "Too much?"

Mutely, Steve shook his head and reassured, "Nope." His heart racing, Steve faced forward again, but gave Bucky's hand another squeeze. Letting that talk for him since he couldn't clear the compliment from his mind. Only relaxing once Bucky replied with a squeeze of his own.

With his hand in Bucky's, Steve floated along beside him. Barely aware that there were even other people around as they continued further into the fairgrounds. Not even caring where they were going. Just glad that he was going there with --

"Bucky!"

<https://www.wattpad.com/783197949-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	56. Fifty-Six

**Fifty-Six:**

The trio paused at the high pitch squeal. Looking around for the familiar voice, Bucky dropped Steve's hand. And although Steve tried not to take it too personally, his heart still mourned a little as his skin started to cool without Bucky's warmth. Even in the Arkansas heat, Steve wanted to be wrapped up in Bucky.

"Bucky!" The girl voice called again, getting louder now and gaining more attention from the surrounding people.

Clenching his jaw, Bucky turned around and backtracking a few steps, looking for the girl. At one of the paths leading up to the barns, Bucky caught Tibby as she jumped into his awaiting arms.

Situating his youngest sister on his hip, Bucky made his way back over to Steve and Natasha. All the while, quietly -- and sternly -- questioning the petite brunette, "Where's Mom?"

"At the barn," Tibby answered, hugging him close. Shyly waving at Steve and Natasha, she informed, "Mama's at the petting zoo with the goats."

Bucky nodded and softly scolded her, "You know you're not supposed to run off. Who were you with?"

"With Sharon," Tibby dropped her gaze and her voice as she reluctantly admitted, "I lost her when I went to the bathroom." Tears were starting to roll down her flushed cheeks as she continued, "I didn't know what to do and then I saw you."

"Shh," Bucky gently shushed her and soothingly rubbed her back as she buried her face in his neck, fully crying now. Bucky held her a little tighter and softly reassured, "I'm not mad at you. Mom and Mama aren't going to be mad at you either. We just want to make sure you're safe."

Noticing that others were watching, Steve lightly touched Bucky's arm. Bucky dropped his gaze to Steve. Steve gave the crowd of people a pointed look and Bucky realized that people were watching them.

"C'mon," Bucky told Steve and Natasha, backtracking the way that Tibby had been. Steve made sure to fall in step beside the tall brunet and Natasha held on to Steve's hand as she followed. Bucky instructed, "Keep an eye out for Sharon."

"Duh," Natasha sassed.

The three searched the area and Natasha moved slightly away from the group to scan the area closest to her. Steve kept his gaze forward, scanning the faces, looking for a familiar one. As he took a step away from Bucky, Tibby's tiny hand grabbed onto Steve's shirt, stopping him.

Steve's gaze fell on Tibby. Her flushed face was resting on Bucky's shoulder and she explained, "Don't wanna lose you too."

Sweetly smiling up at Tibby, Steve took her hand and reassured, "You're not going to."

Just then, someone poked Steve's sides. Immediately, Steve jerked and squirmed away from the person. Whipping around to find Brock who was pleased with his actions. Brock was grasping onto his stomach as he doubled over in his laughter.

Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his arms along his chest. Clearly not amused as Brock was in the moment. Sharon came up then. She took one look at Brock hysterically laughing and Steve's annoyed standoffish demeanor, and assumed Brock had done something that he shouldn't have.

Slapping Brock's arm, Sharon quietly, fiercely accused, "Did you slap his ass?"

"No!" Brock insisted, standing up straight again. His laughter ceasing instantly as he questioned, "Why the hell would I do that?"

Sharon gave him A Look, and Steve was sure that even Natasha recoiled at it. And anyone who could strike the fear of god into Natasha that way deserved a whole hell of a lot more respect than she was currently getting. Especially when Sharon's first thought was that Brock had touched Steve inappropriately.

"He didn't," Steve sheepishly spoke up, still holding himself and standing closer to Bucky.

Brock gestured towards Steve and exclaimed, "See?!"

Rolling her eyes, Sharon sighed, "Well, did you apologize?"

Brock laughed at that and Sharon looked away. Her gaze landing on Tibby hiding in Bucky's broad shoulder while she clung tightly to his neck. Bucky rubbed at Tibby's back and Sharon crossed the small space to Bucky and gently placed her hand on Tibby's back.

"Hey, Miss Tabitha," Sharon started softly, "You know you nearly gave me a heart attack. Why'd you run off?"

"I lost you," Tibby defended herself, busying herself with pinching at Bucky's gray t-shirt.

"I was going to the bathroom," Sharon clarified, taking Tibby's hand in hers, "How about, we stop by to see your Mama and the goats?"

"It's okay," Bucky reassured Sharon. Smiling, he suggested, "Go have fun. I've got it."

Sharon glanced at Steve and worried her lower lip as she thought, "You sure?"

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed.

With Sharon still unsure, Steve told her, "It's okay. We've got it."

Bucky smiled over at Steve hearing that and adjusted his grasp on Tibby. Blushing, Steve averted his gaze to his feet and attempted to keep his grin reigned in. Even though he really couldn't do anything to stop it from growing. Until…

"C'mon, Bucky just wants to _play house_," Brock sneered, tugging on Sharon's arm.

Steve snapped his gaze up to Brock and glared at him. Glad to see that Bucky's eyes were also narrowed on the obnoxious brunet.

Dropping her hand from Tibby, Sharon allowed Brock to tug her away. Pausing though, Sharon turned back to look at Natasha and offered, "You wanna join?"

For a moment, Natasha just stood there, ramrod straight. Which was the only thing straight about Natasha. Steve quirked a brow at his best friend, genuinely surprised that Natasha wasn't racing the short distance to stand beside Sharon.

"Ya know," Sharon shrugged and playfully stage whispered, "Give the lovebirds some alone time."

"Yeah," Brock agreed. Mocking, "Give mommy and daddy some alone time."

Steve gritted his teeth and that was clearly the right thing to snap Natasha out of her shock because she crossed the space. Slapping Brock upside the back of his head before falling into step beside Sharon. As they started walking away, Natasha glanced over her shoulder at Steve and exaggerated an excited look.

<https://www.wattpad.com/784034036-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	57. Fifty-Seven

**Fifty-Seven:**

At the petting zoo, Darlene was calming a toddler who was terrified of Goat Steve and Goat Peggy. Steve wondered why the toddler wasn't taken away by the people looking after him. Until he spotted an older boy obviously flirting with Mandy who wasn't even interested. Figuring that the boy was the toddler's brother and that was the reason why the little boy wasn't taken away and comforted away from the animals that frightened him.

Turning his attention to Bucky who was letting Tibby down, Steve knew that he found a good one. He'd never want someone who could carelessly let their younger sibling suffer like that. And his Big Brother senses were ringing alarm bells as the toddler continued to whine.

"It's okay," Tibby crossed the pen to her mom and the little boy. She set a comforting hand on the toddler's back and reassured, "Goat Steve is nice. He won't bite."

At that, Goat Steve started licking Tibby's hand. The boy's lip was pouting out and Tibby clarified, "He'll give kisses!"

Steve smiled at that. Thinking of Eddie and wishing that he'd be able to meet the Barnes' one day. Steve knew that Eddie and Tibby would get along like kerosene and a lit match. Steve could even imagine his parents getting along with Winifred and Darlene. _Just one big happy family_.

Once the little boy was calmed down, Darlene crossed the pen to Steve and Bucky. She placed her hands on her hips and asked, "So, what happened?"

"Tibby ran off because Sharon was using the restroom still," Bucky nonchalantly answered.

"Of course, she did," Darlene shook her head and sighed, "Did you find Sharon? I bet she was worried sick."

"We did," Steve assured.

"Good," Darlene dramatically deflated, causing Steve to softly chuckle. Darlene winked at him and then started waving them off, "Go have fun!"

"You sure you don't want me to take over," Bucky politely offered.

"No, no, I don't need that," Darlene gestured back towards Mandy, "I have your sister, if I need that. And Sam and Clint are going to come back in an hour."

Bucky didn't look too sure, but he agreed, "Okay."

Steve smiled and waved at her and Tibby as he followed Bucky out of the petting zoo pen. As they started headed back the way they came, Steve let his arm swing at his side instead of shoving his hands into his pockets the way that he wanted to. Mainly because what Steve wanted even more was for Bucky to take his hand.

And luckily, that was exactly what Bucky did.

Easing in his bones, Steve happily laced his fingers with Bucky's. Thrilling at the way Bucky seemed content with holding his hand. It was more than what Steve could've ever asked for.

"So," Bucky started, playfully swinging their linked arms.

Chuckling, Steve prompted, "So?"

"What do you want to do first?" Bucky asked, bashfully glancing down at the ground while raking his unoccupied hand through his soft brown tresses.

Steve shrugged, "What do you want to do?"

Before Bucky could answer, a loud squeal came from a girl at one of the game booths as her date handed over a large teddy bear. Steve smirked at the gesture. Maybe it was because Steve, himself, was in the beginning of something good that he couldn't help but feel happy that someone else was also experiencing something so sweet. Regardless, Steve was happy for them.

Leaning closer, Bucky teased, "How about I win you a teddy bear?"

Steve's brows furrowed and he turned his attention from the happy couples surrounding the game booths. Looking up at Bucky, Steve questioned, "A teddy bear?"

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed with that slow grin that tugged at Steve's heartstrings.

Steve averted his gaze. A teddy bear? Bucky wanted to win Steve a teddy bear? Like the other couples. Correction: the other boyfriends. The boyfriends who gladly handed over the large stuffed animals over to their girlfriends.

Brows furrowing, Steve shook his head and declined, "No thanks."

"It doesn't have to be a bear," Bucky continued. Sweetly bumping his shoulder against Steve's, Bucky rattled off, "It can be anything. A zebra. An owl. A banana with googly --"

"That's okay," Steve interrupted. A bit harshly in his insecurities, Steve clarified, "I don't want anything."

Bucky stopped walking, causing Steve to stop too. Steve kept his eyes off the tall brunet as Bucky softly asked, "Everything okay?"

Steve's eyes scanned the other fairground couples and firmly stated, "Yup."

"You sure?" Bucky asked. Steve nodded and started walking again. So, Bucky did too. Bucky assumed, "You seem angry."

"I'm not," Steve fibbed, stuck in his own head and the way his thoughts circled around: _Bucky thinks of me as a girl_.

Quietly, Bucky wondered, "Did I do something wrong? Said something?"

"Nope," Steve lied. Desperately wishing that his dysphoria could stay buried for _one goddamn second_.

"Steve, c'mon," Bucky encouraged, giving Steve's hand a squeeze.

Steve yanked his hand free and Bucky stopped. Clearly hurt, Bucky's face dropped and he asked Steve, "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," Steve dishonestly assured. His heart racing. His heart breaking.

Bucky tried to keep it light as he commented, "We're supposed to be having fun. We were having fun…"

Crossing his arms along his chest, Steve kept his gaze on the ground, "No one's stopping you."

"Can't have fun knowing that I did something to upset you," Bucky replied, taking a step closer to Steve.

"Well, good news," Steve forced a chuckle, "Because you didn't do anything."

"Stop lying. Please," Bucky quietly demanded, "You're a shit liar."

"I'm not --"

"Steve, please," Bucky sighed, frustrated.

Of course, that didn't make Steve feel any better. Everything was swirling in his head. _It doesn't matter how much I do… It doesn't matter how much I've changed… It doesn't matter that I'm trying…_

"I'm not a girl," Steve finally, quietly stated.

Bucky's brows furrowed further, "I know."

Clenching his jaw, Steve demanded, "Then why are you treating me like one?!"

"I didn't know that I was," Bucky honestly answered, "I --"

"And I can't tell if you're doing it because this is how you treat your dates because you've only dated girls. Or if you think of me as --"

"-- I know you're not a girl," Bucky quickly got out.

"Then why do you want to win me a stuffed animal the way that every guy is for their_ girlfriends_?!"

"Because I like you and I want you to remember me when you leave!"

Steve's eyes widened at that. His heart stuttering in his chest. Sure, Steve had hoped that Bucky wanted something concrete. Something real. But Steve had been holding back. Thinking that this was just a summer thing.

Now, embarrassed with himself, Steve averted his gaze and flushed. Nodding, Steve grabbed Bucky's hand and agreed, "Okay."

"Okay?" Bucky questioned, looking over Steve. Shaking his head, Bucky reassured, "You don't have to do this. Really, Steve, it's okay."

"How about we… compromise?" Steve offered, spotting a game where one shot a water gun at a target and raced against the other competitors. Steve started leading the way over to the game and decided, "If you win --" Steve looked at the prizes "-- you get me that goat."

Bucky looked up at the large stuffed goat and waited for Steve to continue. "And if I win --" trying to find something that would be equally significant to their shared summer together "-- I'll get you that purple unicorn."

Bucky studied Steve for a moment and was clearly trying to keep the slow grin from stretching across his face as he questioned, "Why the unicorn?"

"Because I don't see any old school monsters," Steve reasoned, quirking a brow up at him.

Nodding, Bucky finally allowed the grin to stretch across his face as he agreed, "Deal."

<https://www.wattpad.com/784471827-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	58. Fifty-Eight

**Fifty-Eight:**

As it turned out, Steve won. In more ways than one as Bucky carried the ridiculously large stuffed purple unicorn under his arm while holding Steve's hand in his. Their fingers laced as they walked along the fairgrounds. This was what Steve had ever wanted. No, this was more than Steve had ever wanted.

The game and ride lights were turning on as it neared sunset, and Steve was on cloud nine. Even when Bucky admitted, "I should probably tell you something."

"Okay," Steve worried his lower lip. Those words always brought some anxiety to Steve, but he tried to remind himself that Bucky was different. So, Steve took in a deep breath and feigning nonchalance as he prompted, "Shoot."

"What you said earlier," Bucky started, reminding Steve.

Steve's heart stuttered in his chest and he looked down, ashamed at his prior behavior. Feeling positively dreadful because, of course, he had over reacted. Sure, it was the day before his T shot and he always got more emotional on those days, but he just felt so awful. Mainly, for how he assumed Bucky was just like every other guy.

Bucky continued, "About how you weren't sure if I liked you because I think of you as a girl -- which I don't. Or if I liked you for _you_."

Steve walked beside Bucky, silently. Waiting to hear the rest of what he had to say. Holding out hope for Bucky's confession and gladly accepting the squeeze that Bucky gave his hand. Almost as though Bucky could tell that he needed that soothing gesture. Which, Bucky's instincts were dead on because Steve most definitely did need that.

"I do. Like you for you," Bucky reassured. Shifting the unicorn under his arm to get a better grasp of it, Bucky confessed, "I've never dated my exes because they were girls. I dated them because I liked who they were. If they had been boys, I would've still liked them because of who they were. Because of what their hearts were like."

Letting out a breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding, Steve eased a bit. Okay, Steve eased a lot. Having been terrified that Brock could've been even remotely right about Bucky, had been plaguing Steve. Even if he had been ridiculous to have believed Brock at all.

This just made it all the more obvious: Brock didn’t know Bucky.

"I mean, hell, I had a crush on Brock when I first met him. Then I got to know him," Bucky playfully scrunched his face in disgust, earning a chuckle from Steve. "For me, it has nothing to do with what parts a person has. It has everything to do with what heart they have," Bucky clarified. Giving Steve's hand another comforting squeeze, Bucky conceded, "And I _really_ like your heart, Steve."

Steve's heart stuttered in his chest. Sure, Steve knew that Bucky liked him. Hell, they had spent hours making out. They had held hands and played footsie. They even spent the whole day at the County Fair together. But hearing this was different. Hearing this reminded Steve that Natasha was always right. That this wasn't just because Steve was there for the summer.

And then, to make Bucky even more perfect, he sweetly continued, "Wouldn't matter to me if you were a girl or a boy or anything and nothing. All that matters to me is who you are at your very core. It only matters who your soul is." Leaning a bit closer, Bucky confessed, "Even if you are the cutest boy I've ever seen."

Pausing, Steve turned to look at Bucky. There was a vulnerability radiating off of Bucky that Steve could feel all the way to his very bones. Steve didn't need to ask to understand that this was something extremely personal to Bucky. Steve felt privileged in that moment to have this part of Bucky that he hadn't shared with anyone else.

Standing on his toes, Steve leaned forward and sweetly kissed Bucky. Not caring if other people were looking. Not caring about anything other than Bucky and kissing that cute boy. Letting his hand cup the side of Bucky's prominent jaw and knowing that with his whole heart that Bucky was special.

Pulling back from the kiss, Bucky leaned his forehead against Steve's and Steve breathily told Bucky, "Thank you."

Softly chuckling, Bucky teased, "I thought that was my line."

"I wasn't talking about the kiss," Steve scoffed and playfully poked Bucky's side, causing him to chuckle and squirm out of Steve's grasp. As the air settled around them, Steve placed his hand tenderly on Bucky's hip and clarified, "I was talking about how you trust me."

Bucky beamed down at Steve and confirmed, "I do trust you."

And even though Bucky had spoken something completely different, Steve could hear it. Could feel it. The silent love that formed the words. The way it caused that slow grin to grow and crinkle up to his steel blue eyes. Reached Steve's heart. Floated in the air around them. Completely surrounded them.

"I trust you, too," Steve assured, closing his eyes as Bucky affectionately kissed his forehead.

What he meant was, _I love you, too_.

<https://www.wattpad.com/784576497-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	59. Fifty-Nine

**Fifty-Nine:**

"Are you really going to carry that around all night?" Steve asked, playfully punching the large, stuffed unicorn.

"Hey," Bucky complained, chuckling and moving to act like a shield to protect the purple animal. Playing the part, Steve rolled his eyes and Bucky confirmed, "Yes, yes I am."

Steve shook his head, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face. As they stood in line for the Orbiter ride, Steve questioned, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

Shrugging, Bucky scoffed and grasped the unicorn tighter, "I'm gonna need something to comfort me since you're making me go on _that_ ride."

Chuckling, Steve protested, "I'm not making you do sh--"

A harsh slap to his bum caused Steve to bite off his words mid-sentence and jerk out of the line. Turning around, he found Natasha doubled over in her laughter and Steve playfully swatted at her while sternly informing her, "You scared the crap out of me!"

"I told her not to do it," Sharon agreed with Steve, walking up beside Natasha.

"You did not!" Natasha argued, looking incredulously over at the blonde.

Sharon good-humoredly scoffed, "Yes, I did!"

"Now, girls," Brock slung his arms around both of their shoulders, "I'm sure that there's a civil, _erotic_, way for you two to settle this."

While Natasha gritted her teeth, Steve couldn't help but exchange a look with Bucky. A you-used-to-have-a-crush-on-_him_ type of look. Not daring to speak the words aloud, but figuring that Bucky understood it regardless. Especially when Bucky blushed and hid his face in the purple unicorn's soft, fluffy body.

"Where'd this come from?" Sam asked, joining the group and tugging on the stuffed animal's rainbow tail.

Proudly preening, Bucky announced, "Steve won 'im for me!"

"No shit?!" Clint smiled surprisingly pleased as Steve nodded.

Feigning offense, Natasha harshly shoved Steve's shoulder, "You were supposed to win me something."

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and stood closer to Bucky. Instantly, Bucky casually draped his arm around Steve's shoulders, holding him close. Steve didn't protest as he nuzzled into Bucky's side and tilted his face to smile up at Bucky. Returning the affection with Steve's favorite slow grin, Bucky leaned down and sweetly kissed Steve's forehead.

As they stood in line, Steve was vaguely aware that Sam was complaining that he hung out with the wrong person since all he had won was a small, neon orange stuffed cat. But Steve was only barely listening. Especially since Bucky was tenderly rubbing down Steve's arm, causing Steve to cuddle him just a bit more.

Natasha fell in line beside Steve and gently kicked at his leg to get his attention. Letting his gaze fall from Sam -- who was still ranting -- to her, Steve silently quirked his brows up. Not needing to say anything, Natasha gave Bucky and how cuddly they were a pointed look. When Steve shrugged in mute reply, Natasha theatrically wiggled her eyebrows. Making Steve dramatically roll his eyes and hide his face in Bucky's broad shoulder where his blush instantly took over his face.

Moving up in the line, Bucky rested his cheek on the top of Steve's head as he teased, "Ya promise to hold my hand?"

Steve tilted his face up to look at the handsome brunet and reassured, "Of course!"

"Good," Bucky grinned, "Because I'm really gonna need a strong, brave guy to comfort me."

Thrilling at the compliment, Steve bashfully buried his face in Bucky's wiry frame. Quietly, Steve mumbled into Bucky's chest, "How do you always know exactly what to say?"

"Hmm," Bucky hummed feigning thought as they continued up to the ride. Bucky shrugged and mused, "Maybe I really am a genius."

"Maybe," Steve scoffed, poking Bucky's side and causing him to squirm away.

Steve started up the stairs to the platform, but Bucky paused. Bucky looked down at the stuffed unicorn and looked around. Not wanting to bring it on the ride. Possibly not even allowed to have it on the ride. Steve moved off to the side, waiting for Bucky.

"Oh no," Brock mocked, leaning in close as he feigned concern, "Guess you picked the wrong guy."

Narrowing his eyes at the arrogant brunet, Steve balled his hands into fists. Knowing that no matter how much he wanted to punch Brock, he couldn't. It wouldn't be worth it.

Thankfully, Sam spoke up, "I'll hold onto it."

"Okay," Bucky nodded, handing the purple animal over to his brother. As he started back over to Steve, Bucky turned back around to look at Sam and playfully warned, "You better not run off with him!"

"I don't know," Sam teased, "I think I need him more than you do!"

Playfully, Bucky narrowed his eyes at Sam and pointed warningly at him. Steve rolled his eyes, smiling warmly as he pulled Bucky over to an empty carriage. Taking the seat on the inside, Steve tried to get comfortable on the hard plastic seat while Bucky stood there for a moment.

Once Steve noticed, Steve patted the seat beside him, trying to entice Bucky to join him. Bucky bit his lower lip and asked, "Can I have the inside seat?"

"Um," Steve looked down at the plastic blue seat and shrugged. Standing up, Steve let Bucky take the seat he had been sitting in. Making sure that Bucky was situated, Steve climbed in beside him. Bucky grabbed onto the safety bar and pulled it closer to them.

Steve was securing it closed on his side and Bucky sheepishly admitted, "I'm always nervous that I won't close it properly and something bad will happen."

Brows furrowed with worry, Steve clarified, "You really don't have to ride this, if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay," Bucky reassured. Just for good measure though, he shook the secured safety bar and relaxed in the seat beside Steve, "It's okay."

The Orbiter started moving. Slowly at first. The arms of the ride starting to twirl while the carriages themselves started moving around. Steve's body thrummed with excitement while Bucky held tightly onto the metal restraint in front of them.

Remembering what Bucky had mentioned before, Steve reached out and closed his hand over Bucky's on the safety bar. The ride was starting to pick up momentum. Despite how excited Steve was, he still wanted Bucky to be comforted.

Blowing out a deep breath, Bucky removed his right hand from the bar and Steve removed his hand from on top of his. Then, Bucky held his hand out, palm up, and Steve gladly slid his hand into his. Lacing their fingers together, Steve brought their linked hands up to his mouth and pressed a soothing kiss to Bucky's hand.

Giving Steve's hand a squeeze, Bucky tightly closed his eyes as the ride started really going. Steve couldn't help but chuckle at his own giddiness. His heart feeling light as he held Bucky's hand, letting him know that he was there. Letting him know that he'd always be there.

<https://www.wattpad.com/784902874-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	60. Sixty

**Sixty:**

As it often did, the summer flew by. Barely giving Steve a chance to blink before he realized that two weeks turned into two days. And no matter how much Steve had spent tucked under Bucky's arms or cuddled into heartwarming hugs, he wished he had more. More cuddles. More teasing. More kisses. More time.

Pausing in his sketch, Steve shifted in his seat on the deck step. Of course, since Steve was using Bucky as nothing more than a glorified chair, Bucky moved a bit too. Stretching out his legs that rested on either side of Steve's hips, Bucky affectionately swept his hand through Steve's hair, pushing the blond strands away from his face.

Closing his eyes, Steve just absorbed all of this. Never wanting to forget this moment. Knowing that he never would. Especially not when Bucky leaned in and tenderly pressed a kiss to the left side of Steve's head.

With his lips still pressed to Steve's sweaty skin, Bucky complimented, "I'm amazed by how talented you are."

"Okay," Steve sarcastically agreed, even though he was blushing so much that it even crept down his neck.

"I'm serious," Bucky reassured, wrapping a strong arm around Steve's frame as he continued, "I can't wait until I look in a magazine one day and see that you're one of the most influential artists of our time."

Playfully, Steve rolled his eyes and giggled, "I think that you've read too many articles about your mom."

"Maybe," Bucky chuckled. Pressing another kiss to that same spot as before, Bucky wrapped both arms around Steve's body. Not holding nearly as tight as Steve wanted, Bucky swayed them from side-to-side as he argued, "But that doesn't mean that it's not gonna be true with you."

Looking down at the sketchbook in his lap, Steve saw the simplistic sketch of the Barnes' backyard. In the last two weeks, Steve had drawn everything about this cozy, colorful, loving house. Trying to make it so realistic that looking at them could take him right back to that summer. No matter how many years passed.

Needing to be held tighter, Steve removed the sketchbook and pencil from his lap. Placing his hands over top of Bucky's, Bucky squeezed Steve just a bit tighter. Just a bit closer. The melancholy was surrounding them. Practically suffocating them. But in Bucky's arms, Steve could let everything fall away.

"Aw," a deep voice mocked, breaking through Steve's thoughts and causing his happy place to crumble around him. Steve turned his head and found none other than the one person that he wouldn't miss once he left for home.

Brock glared at them and sneered, "Isn't this cute."

Bucky pulled back and turned to yell at the house, "Sam! Your friend's here!"

"You mean, _we're_ not friends?" Brock mocked as the other members of the Barnes' family exited the house through the French doors.

Steve rolled his eyes and contently nuzzled his back into Bucky's chest, wishing that Bucky would bury his face in his neck again. Thankfully, Bucky gave his torso a comforting squeeze. Appeasing the blond for a moment.

Sam hopped off the short deck and victoriously stretched his muscular arms over his head. Smiling at the happy pair sitting on the deck and deck step, Sam asked, "You wanna come swimming?"

Bucky shrugged and nuzzled into Steve's neck again to quietly question, "Ya wanna go?"

Giving Steve the option to decide, Bucky silently sat behind him and waited. Steve knew that he wanted to hang out with everyone. Well, everyone except for Brock. Who would probably be driving. Who would probably throw Steve back into the Bartons' swimming hole.

It didn't take much for Steve to make up his mind.

Before he could answer though, Brock bitterly scoffed, "It's okay, Stephanie Grace. We'll just stand around waiting for you to make up your mind. Just like with everything else."

As soon as Steve heard the name, he froze. Not just him though. The people surrounding him froze. Snapping their attention to Brock. Mandy and Becca's own conversation ceased. Sam dropped his arms along with going slack-jawed. Sharon even gasped. Bucky tightened his arms around Steve, almost as though he was trying to keep him safe. Glad that Winifred and Darlene took Tibby to get some new back-to-school necessities.

In that moment though, everything shifted. The Arkansas heat felt like a winter breeze in New York. Chilling Steve to his bones. No, not his bones. Chilling him straight to his core. His very being. Feeling completely exposed in that moment in front of people who only knew who he was becoming.

And there it was, the dysphoria that burned Steve inside out, like bile that rose and needed to exit. That caused his extremities to go numb and his stomach to coil. Twisting uncomfortably as though it was trying to pull Steve inward, into his deepest fears like a black hole through his belly button.

<https://www.wattpad.com/785129341-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	61. Sixty-One

**Sixty-One:**

"Where the fuck did you find that?" Natasha harshly questioned, standing beside Steve and Bucky. Using her petite body to hide Steve from Brock.

"Your school's Facebook," Brock easily answered. Steve kept his gaze on Sam's strong legs and the neon purple swim trunks that complimented his dark skin tone; trying to remember how to breathe. Especially as Brock continued, "Turns out Stevie here had some real potential. A decent volleyball player with one of hell of a body. Such a shame that she hides those curves now."

"Too far," Sam sternly warned Brock, crossing his arms along his chest as though he was trying to refrain himself from doing something else.

Like the good person that he was, Bucky made Steve his top priority. Rubbing his hands soothingly over Steve's arms, Bucky softly questioned directly into Steve's ear, "Are you okay?"

It took Steve a moment to realize that he was shaking. It took him another moment to realize that Bucky wanted an answer. Jerkily, Steve nodded. Not trusting his voice enough to vocally answer.

"Oh, c'mon. She knows I'm only flirting," Brock chuckled, causing Steve's stomach to flip uncomfortably. Flipping in the extreme opposite of how it did when Bucky flirted with him. This wasn't flirting. It never was with Brock.

"You know what, I think your name is real pretty, Stevie, and I think you should respect your mama more for choosing such a beautiful name for ya."

From beside Brock, Sharon quietly, harshly, demanded, "Seriously, knock it off."

"I'm only joking," Brock defended.

"Even _if_ you were, it's too far," Sharon argued, anger building in the typically kind-hearted and even-tempered girl.

Brock's voice was tight, sending a chill straight down Steve's spine as he ordered Sharon, "Then why don't you just wait for me in the car?!"

Steve swallowed thickly as the air tensed. Almost as though the air was being sucked out of the area. Not even the trees' leaves moved in that moment, giving everyone an eerie pause.

Finally the moment broke as Sharon stepped away from Brock, closer to Sam as she aggressively crossed her arms and coolly recommended, "Why don't you just find yourself a new girlfriend."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Brock angrily agreed, bitterly laughing.

Vaguely, Steve was aware that Natasha had left her spot shielding him and was walking over to Brock. Steve cautiously glanced over, knowing that this wasn't going to end well for Brock. Clearly, Brock didn't realize that the petite girl with the red roots and the choppy bangs and the silver bob was a bigger threat than assumed. Hell, she pierced her own nose without so much as a single tear streaming down her face. Natasha was the biggest badass that Steve had ever met. And he was damn lucky that he had never been on her bad side.

Unlike Brock. Who was still talking. Loudly, he snidely suggested, "How 'bout it, Steph--"

Before anyone could even blink, Natasha punched Brock square in his nose. Brock immediately doubled over and groaned in pain as he clutched his nose. There was blood gushing from his broken nose, covering his face and hands, and dripping onto the grass below him. But Natasha wasn't done. Quickly, swiftly, Natasha kneed Brock directly in his balls, effectively hurting not only his manhood, but his ego as well.

Leaning in, Natasha spoke through her teeth, "Steve is twice the man you'll ever be. And if you know any better, you'd leave. Now."

In that moment, Brock did something that no one -- least of all, Steve -- expected him to do. He left. Wounded, bloody, and bruised, Brock hobbled around the house. Angrily muttering to himself as he did so. Hearing a door slam shut, Steve jerked at the loud noise, even though he knew he was safe in Bucky's arms.

"I'm so sorry, Steve," Sharon apologized, bending, so she was eye-to-eye with Steve while staying at a courteous distance. Which Steve greatly appreciated.

"Satan's bitch," Natasha exclaimed, shaking out her already bruising hand that was covered in Brock's blood and exaggerated her gesture in the direction where Brock had been. "Can you believe how much of a --"

"Cunt," Steve supplied with a small grin.

"-- cunt," Natasha's smile grew as she confirmed, "Can you believe it?"

Sharon deadpanned, "It came out of nowhere."

"Such a surprise," Bucky falsely agreed, burying his face into Steve's neck, tenderly pressing a chaste kiss there.

Steve eased in Bucky's embrace, reminding himself that he was safe. That he was with people who accepted him. People that defended him when he couldn't defend himself. Steve knew that even after this summer, these people would always be a part of him.

<https://www.wattpad.com/785496218-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	62. Sixty-Two

**Sixty-Two:**

Steve had been dreading this day from the moment he met Natasha's family. Sure, he might not have been too keen on joining her in the beginning. But once he got there and met everyone, it changed. As it often did. As Steve should've known it would.

For the last time, Steve laid there in the guest bed next to Natasha. Over their time at the house, it didn't feel much like a guest bed or a guestroom. It felt like theirs. Especially since the bedding smelled like cigarettes and Natasha's floral body spray mixed with Steve's unscented body lotion.

As Steve laid there, looking at the window with the thin curtains and beautiful flowers growing outside, Natasha rolled over. Cuddling close to him, Natasha rested her forehead against Steve's back and rasped, "You awake?"

"Duh," Steve mocked, sniffling.

"It'll be okay," Natasha held Steve just a bit tighter and consoled her best friend, "It doesn't have to be goodbye."

"Right," Steve sarcastically agreed to the empty promise.

"Hey," Natasha complained, nudging his shoulder as she suggested, "We live in the day of technology."

Swallowing thickly, Steve confirmed, "I know."

"I mean it," she whispered and repeated, "It doesn't have to be goodbye."

And despite no tears falling from his eyes, Steve sniffled again. Maybe all his tears had dried up. Maybe his heart believed Natasha and held the tears back. Whatever it was, no tears fell from his eyes.

Which was probably a good thing.

Staying in bed for only a moment longer, Steve slipped out of bed and got around for the day. Avoiding his reflection in the mirror over the sink as he brushed his teeth. Finger combing through his floppy blond hair. Choosing comfortable clothes for the plane ride. Trying to keep his heart together the best he could.

Of course, once he exited the guestroom, he realized that his heart was going to shatter whether he wanted it to or not. Especially when everything seemed so normal. Mandy and Becca were fighting over the remote. Sam was sitting on the sofa with Tibby on the floor in front of him as he expertly braided her hair. In the kitchen, Darlene and Winifred were making breakfast, causing everything to smell like pancake heaven.

From the corner of his eye, Steve spotted Bucky leaving his and Sam's room. Looking over at him, Steve knew that Bucky was his person. Without a single doubt, Bucky was it. No matter what happened. No matter who he met. No matter who he dated, if he chose to. Bucky was his once in a life time.

When Bucky smiled, Steve could feel that he was Bucky's person too.

_It doesn't have to be goodbye_, Steve internally mused, giving Bucky a smile too.

That became Steve's mantra for the rest of the day. As they scarfed down the blueberry pancakes, and Tibby flashed him a syrupy smile. _It doesn't have to be goodbye_. As they relaxed in the living room, watching some TV as the clock counted down until they had to leave. Bucky's arm wrapped around Steve's shoulders and Steve's head on Bucky's chest. _It doesn’t have to be goodbye_. _It doesn't have to be goodbye_.

One by one, the Barnes' family gave Steve and Natasha hugs. Almost all of them teary eyed and tight embraces. Almost like no one wanted Steve and Natasha to leave. Least of all, Natasha and Steve.

As they stood outside on the front porch, Steve let go of Sam. Playfully, Sam ruffled Steve's hair and told him, "Keep an eye on Killer."

"I punch one guy and now I'll never hear the end of it," Natasha teasingly complained before hugging her cousin.

"Yeah, and you broke his nose," Mandy clarified, hugging Steve next.

Pulling away from one Barnes to hug the next. Steve crouched down and pulled Tibby in for a hug. He'd be able to hug his own baby sibling soon, but that didn't mean he wouldn't miss the little sister he never had and immediately knew he needed. Tibby held tightly around Steve's neck and stained his light blue tee with her tears, and Steve held her back just as tight.

Of course, he didn't hold her nearly as tight as Natasha held Tibby. Natasha scooped her small frame up in her arms and held her closer than anyone expected. Steve knew right then that this trip was exactly what Natasha had needed.

"Okay," Bucky announced, carrying both packed bags out of the house. Purposely avoiding Steve's gaze as he carried the bags out to the Barnes' white VW Jetta.

Seeing the redness around Bucky's eyes, Steve tried not to take it too personally. After all, he was having enough difficulty of his own. So, Steve reminded himself, _It doesn't have to be goodbye_.

Bucky hid a sniffle by closing the trunk door. Tapping the top of the car, he cleared his throat and suggested, "We should get going."

"You better all keep me posted in the family group chat," Natasha warned, pointing accusatorily at her family on the porch.

"Duh," Becca scoffed while Sam teasingly questioned, "Who do you think we are?!"

"Make sure to send pictures of the goats!" Steve called, climbing into the passenger seat.

"Duh," Tibby copied, feeling proud of herself. Especially when Mandy wrapped her arms around her tiny frame.

Natasha placed her hand over her heart and said, "They grow up so fast."

"Make sure to give your dad hell," Darlene encouraged while Winifred told them, "Be good!"

They nodded, Steve figuring that he could be good enough for both of them while Natasha continued to make Ivan's life a nightmare. Deciding that Ivan deserved it. Just a bit. Or a lot.

As Bucky started pulling down the driveway, Steve watched the family out of the side mirror. A sad smile on his face as he watched them wave and reached his own arm out of the window to wave back. _It doesn't have to be goodbye_.

<https://www.wattpad.com/785502081-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	63. Sixty-Three

**Sixty-Three:**

Pulling out onto the road, Steve pulled his arm back into the car. Rolling up the window and easing in the passenger seat as the air conditioning kept them cool. It was so different than the ride up the mountain on their first day. Then main difference was the way that Bucky took Steve's hand in his.

The whole ride, their hands stayed interlaced. Fingers locked. Soothing squeezes. Neither saying anything the whole ride to the airport. Not even Natasha talked. Of course, that wasn't necessarily unusual.

One handed, Bucky maneuvered the car into a spot and paused for a moment. Taking in a deep breath, Bucky squeezed Steve's hand once. As Natasha exited the car, Bucky brought Steve's hand up to his mouth to press a tender kiss to Steve's skin.

"Message me?" Bucky softly requested, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.

The desperateness seeped through Bucky's tone and twisted Steve's stomach. Steve blinked away his tears and flashed a small smile as he reassured, "Of course."

Nodding, Bucky leaned over the console and reached up to cradle Steve's face while pressing his forehead against Steve's. With his lower lip quivering, Bucky whispered, "I don't wanna say goodbye."

"It doesn't have to be goodbye," Steve said aloud the words he had been telling himself all day.

Taking in a shaky breath, Bucky quietly repeated, "It doesn't have to be goodbye."

At that, Steve leaned in and frantically pressed his lips to Bucky's. Wishing that he had kissed Bucky sooner. Wishing that he hadn't wasted so much time tiptoeing around his feelings. But there wasn't anything that Steve could do now.

Now all he could do was kiss Bucky and hold on to that promise that they made to each other. They were young. But Steve knew that he'd never meet anyone like Bucky. It didn't matter how many years passed or how old he was. Bucky was someone special.

Breaking apart, they climbed out of the car. Natasha turned to look at them and exhaled a puff of smoke. Pushing herself away from the car, she dropped the cigarette to the ground and Steve stepped on it for her. Both moving around to the back of the car where Bucky was taking their luggage out of the trunk.

Slinging both bags over his shoulders, Bucky closed the trunk door and headed towards the airport. Natasha didn't protest about carrying her own bag. She wasn't glaring at everything in sight. Instead, she walked silently with her head held high and her right hand knuckles bruised.

Steve took Bucky's hand in his, giving it a squeeze. Relaying everything that he was feeling in that one gesture. Only realizing then just how it had become their thing. Especially once Bucky returned the squeeze with one of his own before tenderly rubbing circles into Steve's skin.

As they entered the airport, Steve noticed how people were hugging their loved ones. Either dropping off or picking up, it didn't matter much. Hugs and kisses. Smiles and tears. Steve gave Bucky's hand another squeeze.

"I, um," Natasha started, gaining Steve and Bucky's attentions. She gestured off to the side and clarified, "I'm gonna go over there until you're… done."

"Smooth," Steve deadpanned and shook his head. Teasingly, Natasha flipped him off over her shoulder as she walked over and towards the windows.

Bucky started worrying his lower lip again and seemed to be having a difficult time looking at Steve. As Steve turned to stand in front of him, he noticed that Bucky's perfect steel-blue eyes were misty. Which, of course, only caused Steve's own blue eyes to start glazing over in tears.

Feeling his cheeks redden, Steve sniffled and gave Bucky's hand another squeeze. Bucky dropped the bags to the floor and pulled Steve into him with a soft, "C'mere."

As soon as he was wrapped in Bucky's strong, warm embrace, Steve buried his face in Bucky's chest and allowed his first set of tears for the day to freely fall and stain Bucky's soft gray t-shirt. Tightly, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's waist and held on as though his life depended on it. It felt like his life depended on it.

"Shh," Bucky comforted, his lips pressed to the top of his head. Softly, he reminded, "Hey, this isn't goodbye, remember."

Still crying, Steve nodded, confirming, "This isn't goodbye."

"This is," Bucky started, pausing to take in a shaky breath. Steve could feel a few tears drop onto his head, wetting his hair. Bucky thickly swallowed and continued, "This is, this is a… a… pause."

Steve sniffled and agreed, "A pause."

"We'll still talk," Bucky promised, "It'll be like being right down the hall."

Mutely, Steve nodded, not being able to argue. He knew that it wouldn't be like being right down the hall. And Steve was sure that Bucky knew that too. But Steve wasn't going to be the one to say it.

Bucky sniffled and continued, "We can even have skype dates, if you want. I know that I'll want them. I doubt you'll want to see my ugly mug, but I'll sure miss your cute face."

Scoffing, Steve poked Bucky's side, causing him to squirm and softly chuckle. Steve tilted his face up to look at Bucky and informed him, "You're cute. Of course, I'll wanna see your face."

"Okay," Bucky quietly conceded, wiping Steve's tears away. Leaning in, Bucky gently pressed a sweet kiss to Steve's lips. Sealing his promise in the best of ways, in Steve's opinion.

And since it would be the last kiss for a while, Steve slid one of his hands up and tangled his fingers in Bucky's messy brown hair. Glad that Bucky pulled him in even closer and deepened the kiss. Never in his life had Steve imagined that he'd be one of those couples, but there he was. And in the heat of the moment, Steve couldn't care less about anyone who was judging him. Just taking a moment to enjoy kissing Bucky, and get lost in the sweetness that Bucky handled him with.

Before they pulled apart completely, Bucky pressed one more kiss to Steve's lips. Not stopping there though, Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead. Keeping his lips there a moment before stroking his thumb along Steve's jaw and promised, "I'll talk to you later."

Nodding, Steve stood on his tiptoes to kiss Bucky again. He knew that he had to leave soon, but he still wanted that quick kiss. Half-teasing, Steve informed Bucky, "I'll be counting the hours."

"I take it all back, I'm not even gonna miss you a little bit," Bucky joked even though the tears building in his eyes said otherwise. Still, Steve poked Bucky's side, causing him to squirm and Bucky weakly chuckled, "Okay. Maybe I'll miss you a little bit."

Steve shook his head and scoffed, "'Maybe.'"

Bucky leaned in and kissed Steve's forehead again. With his lips still there, he confessed, "I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too," Steve confirmed, wrapping his arms around Bucky's torso again to give him one last hug. "So, so much."

Despite both of them wanting to linger, they both knew they couldn't. So, Steve picked up his bag and turned to gesture for Natasha, but Natasha was already crossing the space to them.

Grasping the strap of his duffle bag like a lifeline, Steve weakly smiled at Bucky and turned to head further into the airport. Feeling Bucky's gaze on him as he slowly followed Natasha, Steve refrained from running back over to the handsome brunet. Of course, just because he didn't jump back into Bucky's arms, Steve still couldn't stop himself from looking over his shoulder at him.

Bucky stood there, as though promising that he'd always be there. Arms crossed as though he was holding himself since he couldn't hold Steve, Bucky kept his gaze locked on him. Even as tears streamed down Steve's face, Bucky kept watching him.

Steve squeezed the strap of his bag like he would squeeze Bucky's hand. Struggling to keep the weak smile on his face as he glanced over at Bucky. Never considering before how much it would hurt to leave once their summer was over, and knowing that he would choose it all over again. Especially when that slow grin stretched across Bucky's face and he lifted his hand to wave at Steve. Sending him off with a promise: that this was something real.

<https://www.wattpad.com/785566011-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>


	64. Sixty-Four

**Sixty-Four:**

Spotting his family standing there waiting for him, caused Steve to race over to them. Sure, Steve had talked to them on the phone and remained somewhat active on his social media pages. But seeing his family standing there in the airport was different. And Steve immediately ran to them, greeting Sarah first with a crash. Nearly toppling his petite mom in a hug.

"I missed you, too," Sarah confirmed, securing Steve in her grasp and hugging him tightly to her frame.

"Stevie," Eddie excitedly tugged on Steve's gray basketball shorts. "Hey, Stevie. Stevie, look!"

Sniffling, Steve kept his face buried in Sarah's shoulder a moment longer to gather himself before pulling back. Glancing down at his brother and greeting him by ruffling his auburn hair. Eddie flashed him a missing teeth smile and Steve exaggerated, "You lost a tooth?!"

"Uh huh," Eddie proudly tilted his chin up before tackling Steve into a hug. Steve smiled down at him and ran his fingers through Eddie's messy mop of hair as Eddie confessed, "I missed you a lot, a lot."

"Yeah?" Steve questioned, tears still building in his eyes. Eddie nodded his confirmation and Steve reassured, "I missed you, too."

"Hey, what about me?" Natasha playfully complained. Eddie pulled away from Steve and tackled Natasha in a hug of the same fashion as the one he gave Steve. After all, Natasha was the sister that Eddie never had.

"Ya hungry?" Joseph questioned with a large grin.

"Starving," Natasha exaggerated, earning a giggle from Eddie.

As the group moved from the airport to the parking lot, Eddie held Steve and Natasha's hands while Joseph wrapped an arm around Sarah's frame. Reassuring Steve that love existed and that sometimes people just knew. Just like how Steve had known from the moment they met Joseph that he was going to marry Sarah, Steve knew that Bucky was that person for him.

At dinner, they told stories of what each other missed in their absences. Missing teeth, newborn kittens, and Goat Steve. Sarah laughed so hard that tears dotted the corners of her eyes. A smile on Steve's face as he tried to settle back into who he was before Arkansas.

Eddie was the one who spotted Natasha's bruised knuckles, and Natasha felt obliged to inform the Rogers family, "Had to defend Stevie's honor."

Eyebrows arched high on their foreheads, Sarah and Joseph exchanged a look. Clearly, they had to know the story now. And Steve -- red faced -- simply explained, "Some doorknob who kept misgendering me."

Joseph's jaw clenched then and Sarah narrowed her eyes as though she could glare at Brock all the way from New York. Hell, maybe she could! Firmly, Sarah commented, "They're damn lucky that I wasn't there."

"Don't worry," Natasha smirked, wrapping her arm around Steve's shoulders, "I set 'im straight."

"Good," Joseph confirmed, relaxing in his seat.

The meal consisted of more stories and exaggerated gestures. Laughs and teasing. Even featuring Eddie shoving straws up his nose and exclaiming that he was a walrus. Although Sarah attempted to be stern as she told the youngest Rogers to get the straws out of his nose, a smile fought to break free. It was everything that Steve had missed and then some.

Piling into the Rogers' black 2015 Chrysler Town & Country minivan, Steve eased in his seat, taking in a deep breath. Sarah drove, holding Joseph's hand. Effectively warming Steve's heart and breaking it all in one.

As they pulled into the Romanoff's driveway, Natasha exaggerated a sigh and reached over to ruffle Eddie's auburn hair. Opening the door, Natasha reached over and gave Steve's hand a squeeze as she informed, "I'll text ya later."

"You better," Steve weakly smiled, tiredly resting his head on the back of the seat as he waved after Natasha as she closed the door.

Closing his eyes, Steve kept his tears in. Making a deal with himself that he could cry all he wanted once he was back home in his bed by himself. Until he could do that, he kept quiet in the middle seat section and listened as Eddie sang along to the classic rock song from the back.

Not realizing that he had fallen asleep until Sarah gently shook him awake. Eddie and Joseph were already inside, and Sarah affectionately pushed Steve's hair away from his face as she sweetly promised, "You go nap and I'll make some chocolate mousse."

"Okay," Steve agreed, stumbling out of the van and walking up the familiar walk to his house. Having lived in a log cabin on an isolated plot of land made Steve's heart pang: _have the neighbors always been that close?_

Climbing the stairs, Steve passed the photos that lined the wall. Missing teeth grins. Petting zoos. Snuggled up close in Sarah's arms. This was home. But Steve couldn't deny that something was missing.

Joseph had placed Steve's bag on his bed, and although Steve wanted to sleep until he could see Bucky again, he knew he needed to unpack. Only then did Steve wish that he had let Bucky win him something at the County Fair. After all, he didn't have anything he could hold that reminded him of Bucky. Sure, he had sketches that he planned on hanging up along his room, but it just wasn't the same.

Internally berating himself, Steve unzipped the bag and paused. His heart racing in his chest as he reached out with shaky hands. There, nestled in the middle of his clothes, laid the ceramic mint green bowl with the little pink flowers and gold interior.

Taking the bowl into his hands, Steve looked into the bag to see if there was a note. There wasn't. So, Steve turned his gaze to the bowl. The bowl that Bucky had first given Steve to use. The bowl that Bucky would place on the counter for Steve in the mornings every Monday after.

Running his fingers along the smooth surface, Steve paused when his thumb rubbed against an unusual spot on the bottom of the bowl. Flipping the bowl over, Steve's breath hitched. There, on the bottom of the bowl was a messy inscription:

_James Barnes  
6th grade_

Affectionately cradling the bowl to his chest, Steve smiled as the tears fell from his eyes and landed on the ceramic bowl. Never once before had Steve taken the time to ask about the bowl. Always assuming that it was special merely because Bucky let him use it. Now knowing that it was special because he made it. Knowing that Steve was special because Bucky gave it to him.

_It wasn't goodbye_.

<https://www.wattpad.com/785829686-call-it-what-you-want-trans-steve-and-pan-bucky>

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about continuing this fic for a while because, honestly, I'm not prepared for the story to be over. This story has been so special to me, and from all the support, comments, and messages, I know that it's special to all of you as well.
> 
> So, I'm going to be writing a sequel. I'm not sure when exactly because I have other fics that I've planned to write first. But THERE'S GOING TO BE A SEQUEL! I'm not quite sure what's going to happen in the sequel, but I'm sure that it'll be good (I hope, at least)!
> 
> Thank you, all of you, for reading my stories and supporting my work. It means so, so much to me and I owe all of you a lot more, but all I keep landing on is a simple, "thank you." It's not nearly what I wish to convey, but I know that I'll never be able to properly express just how much I appreciate every single one of you.
> 
> Remember to be kind, love often, and stand up for what is right.  
Much love and appreciation  
Minnie


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